Dropping off at kids parties, how do you do it?

[Ziggyzoom]

DD has a severe nut allergy and asthma. She is now six and has had no issues with nut exposure for 4 years. I am very careful to take the epi-pens wherever we go, but I guess I've become fairly used to the whole routine.

She has been to friends for tea, but they either have kids with allergies requiring Epipens or are teachers, so know what to do.
This weekend she went to a party, DH is away and I have another DD, it was a tiny pottery painting venue, so I felt I had no choice but to leave her and she wouldn't have wanted me to stay anyway.

DD is fully aware of what she needs to do incase of anaphylaxis, but obviously I can't guarantee that she will be able to administer the Epipens.
The look of panic on the face of the mum of the party-girl told me that my last-minute breakdown of "what to do if she has a reaction" was not the right way to go about it.

So what do you do?

I would text or call in advance and when you accept the invitation basically. Explain about the epipen..tell the host that DD can administer it but if there were a problem and she needed to do it, she would tell the host what was happening and that you would need to be called and dd monitored till you arrived.

I would worry a teeny bit...but not massively...maybe explain also that DD knows what not to eat....and that it's rare.

She knew about the allergy from last year, but then - age 5 we stayed with DD. She was really good about checking food labels etc, she just wasn't ready for th "jab my child in the leg" bit!
I wonder if other people loiter inconspicuously?

at age 6 they would not be able to administer epipen on their own, infact at any age if suffering from ana may not b possible to administer own epipen.

I would contact the party family b4, explain allergies and epi pens, ask if they would prefer that you stay or if they will be comfortable caring for your child, ask about food that will be provided, send with own food and own cake if products being given are not guaranteed as safe. if you do leave ur child at a party, be sure to leave the meds and your contact details with the parent.

Ziggy I do remember a mum on this board who was still loitering for her ten year old. I thnk people would understand....I know that I simply could NOT jab a child in the leg. I'm horribly injection phobic and it would make me pass out. I think you must stay really.. .could you trust another parent to administer? I don't think I could...even though the thought of doing it to my child makes me go funny...as a parent we deal with these things don't we?

"I know that I simply could NOT jab a child in the leg. I'm horribly injection phobic and it would make me pass out."

Really? Even if a child's life depended on it?

Thanks all. I think in the future I will do as ukey says and 'brief' them beforehand. DD has a practice Epipen which is really good for demonstrating. But, if they are not happy, I will loiter in the shadows! I just feel bad for DD. She is really good about her allergy, but she is also fiercely independent and I know she would hate being the only one with a mum who stays at parties!

Hi there. I think six is too young to have the responsibility and frankly if she did have a reaction she probably wouldn't be in a position to administer it.

What we have always done is talk to the parent and the venue (e.g. if soft play), asking about the party menu and pointing out what my child can eat. In my experience the other mum is usually stressed and won't be able to remember what my child actually can eat. I ask them to save me the packaging if they can.

When she was younger, I stayed. I either chatted to the other parents/helped out, or I went and sat in the car nearby with a book. I left my phone number but I did not trust anyone to know what to do in a real emergency. It is hard enough having the Allergy Conversation with prospective friends having DD for tea let alone anyone else!

DD is allergic to nuts and egg, so the most troublesome part of the party for her is usually the cake. I send in a box of alternative treats that she can have; she has had bad reactions in the past so she is not keen to experiment.

When we go to a party we will usually cruise the food, check out the packaging, and I will look over the food table and talk about what's on there with DD.

Crisps and kitkats have been our saviour many a time. :-).

Deep yes really.

I take a packed lunch box. DS knows not to eat anything other than what's in the box and then I sit outside in the car.

DH or I still stay at large parties with 6yo DS (coeliac). We have left him at small ones where the parent is clued-up, but at larger ones I find that well-meaning helpers are usually thrusting food upon him (or worse, dropping it on his plate when he's not looking) so someone needs to be there.

I have had parties where three separate parents have thrust epi pens and inhalers my way, with brief (very brief) explanation and then ran off.

I would have dealt with it as best I could. I would have jabbed, and called an ambulance too.

But to be fair, telling me when I am in the middle of signing up 20 kids on a register, filling out menu choices etc, it is difficult to take in properly.

Maybe best to send an e-mail beforehand.

Once the party is underway the parents mind will be in a state of chaos (or is that just me?).

You are right potato and I realised that when I saw the look of panic on her face! It was a small party at a small venue and she was aware of the issues before we arrived, but I realise I was being unfair to her. I think, because DD has a couple of friends with Epipens and a lot of our friends are teachers so are already trained, I have become a bit blasé about the whole 'jab her in the leg' thing and forgot that it is frightening for some people.

I will change my approach next time and probably hang around nearby.

It is good fir people yo get used to it! You just need a but if time to process it.

My DH once had an anaphylactic shock, out of the blue, and he fell over and was swelling up, could hardly talk. And I, like an idiot, asked him: should I call an ambulance? What should I do. He could not really answer. So like a fool I went to ask the neighbours: my Dh is swelling up snd has fallen over, he can't talk. He looks bad. Should I call an ambulance? I don't know why I had to think about it. Part of my brain just could not take it in!