Thank you for inviting dd to come and play, first let me come round and terrify you.......

[HuiledOlive]

......yes she does react on contact with any milk, eggs, nuts and shellfish, yes I will brandish the epipen and urge you to practise and yes I will be scanning your home for any stray half eaten biscuits, bottles of formula, crisp crumbs. I will also issue you with written explanations of what she can and can't eat.........

Please let this not put everyone off ever inviting her over ever again!

Feel free to add. I could do with a laugh!

Yes!

I'm terrified of 7yo DS going on playdates or to parties by himself, he's been to 2 on his own. And he only has a couple of severe allergies.

I'm not sure every parent gets it though . Bar actually shouting at them I don't know how to deal with it.

She can come to our house as long as it is the same day the cleaner comes We're not scared of epi pens and know how scary allergies can be (used to do scientific research in that area).

I'm a first aider at work and have had to deal with a nut allergy reaction.

She can come to us (but only on a Saturday when the cleaner has been) and you give me a food list in advance.
I am not a panicker and had my niece overnight who gets migraines due to a brain disorder.

Have been told how to use epipen but am not qualified for it.

We have very little experience of allergies (lucky, I know, and I count my blessings), but you are welcome here. Just tell me what I need to know. I'm a first aider too.

I just wanted to pop in to say what lovely responses. One of my worries is that DD won't get invited to any play dates because of her allergies or that people will take them lightly and it's lovely to read these reponses. A handout is a great idea.

And OP we are an allergy friendly household so she can come here too

Aargh! This SCARES me. And I mean, proper scares me. DS3 has 9 different allergies. He can't even go yo soft play without reacting, and preschool has taken FT 1-2-1 and a LOT of training and a VERY on-the-ball preschool.

Play dates?!

I'm the other Mum in this!! DD's friend is coeliac and came over today - I was v scared that I'd make her ill...... I messaged her Mum about food and shopped for gluten-free snacks and all was well, phew!

Yes, please have her come over. Please come too and educate me as well as you can, so that I might keep you dd safe whilst she is in my keep.

Please return the favour to me when my dd is invited to your home. She has allergies too!

she can come and play at our house.

I don't have kids with allergies, but I get it, and really it isn't that hard to have a child to play for a couple of hours and not feed then something that will kill them.
Not belittling what you have said, but I get cross with parents who can't do this for a playdate, it just takes a bit of thought.
dds friend has a dairy allergy. I remove biscuit tin and buy and serve a snack I know he can eat. No other food is accessible except fresh fruit.

(might need to check dds room for squirreled away sweets from christmas).

Only thing we would struggle with is making the house cat free.

She can come here too! I might suggest you come for coffee on your own first, just so we can run through everything we should be doing and for you to scrutinise our house for any problems... Any friend of dd's is welcome here and I will do my utmost to keep them safe and happy (I have allergies which even my own family don't won't cater for)

Crikey. I think I would need to insist on you checking out the house first, along with a hand written idiots guide beforehand so I know what I am doing. . But if you did that it would be fine, I would manage to keep your dd safe and she would be welcome.

Fine by me. My cousin has a severe nut allergy and dd1 had a reaction to egg as a baby ( she thankfully grew out of it) so I know how scary these things are.
Come for tea first though to reassure yourself by all means :)

I gave up on it when one mum told me that because cheese strings were processed, they didn't have any dairy left in them.

==. (Me banging head on wall)

(DS3 is contact anaphylactic to dairy, and reacts to trace amounts of broken down protein in Nutramigen, can only tolerate Neocate)

Or another mum who told me that pistachios aren't nuts as they come in a shell (WTFF?!) same mum also was adamant that humous doesn't have chickpeas in, AND that tropical juice doesn't have pineapple in because pineapple comes from Africa, not the tropicals (sic).

It gets harder when some of the allergies you are dealing with aren't in the 14 major allergens, and therefore aren't even bolded on the label.

It can be quite surprising the things that traces of pineapple crop up in - chocolate orange carex soap for example!

This makes me very anxious! My DS is only 15 mo but todate has 7 foods he can't eat. Currently I just take food along with us wherever we go. But i don't supposse you can do that when they are older??? Or could you ?

My current friends are very considerate as they have seen how bad he gets with his reactions. But how will people understand with just seeing a healthy little boy?

Certainly would be worried about the epipen usage.

Think he will have to befriend children who's parents are either Drs or nurses or dieticians. Yep that's the answer.

Oh and in reaponce to the OP...your DD is most welcome and I can do her a dairy, wheat, peanut, tree nut, soya, egg, coconut, oat, kiwi, sesame and strawberry free meal. Am happy to avoid anything else too. Oh and we already have our own practice epipen :)

And no fish:)

DS had a period earlier this year where he was suddenly reacting to random foods. Previously his list had been wheat, oats, maize, dairy, nuts, seeds, but tomatoes, soya, berries, smoked salmon got added in, wiping out some of his favourite fail safe foods, ie baked beans and strawberries. I think his best friends Mum thought I was a loon!

He also reacted to balloons, dogs, rubbery toys, some plastic ones and something unknown in a downstairs room at school, all were new reactions in the first few weeks of starting school. I was terrified to let him out of my sight, there were few playdates this autumn.

I allowed him to play next door for an hour, picked up a grey wheezing child after he had been playing with a balloon, all previous tests for latex had been fine. Other people around him didn't know him well enough to spot changes in his demeanour to know that action was needed and I couldn't guess what he might react to next so couldn't give any advice. Thank goodness, things have settled down, I don't want to be back there in a hurry!

misty, that sounds so tough. I'm glad some of those new/random allergies have passed.

hellobear, what a genius idea to befriend children whose parents are drs/nurses! I will be shamelessly trying to do this

DS mate doesn't have allergies but his tracea often collapses so one person has to resuscitate him while the other phones 999 and gets his mum.

DH has also had to resuscitate DS too.

Reckon if we can cope with that we can cope with anything else a play date could bring

My biggest fear is that DS3 will develop an allergy to egg, gluten or tomatoes on top of everything else. Any one of those on top of his existing allergies would see me turn into a gibbering mess!

Oh wow, just returned to the thread. Sorry! But what supportive responses.

I have produced a two page hand-out of what she can eat, what signs to look for and what to do.

She did her first playdate alone- and it went well. I popped by to double check the ingredients of the meal and run through any snacks (on the mum's request) and to run through the epipen again. Then I left!

She had a great time!

Another friend next week...... Eeeeek!

Thanks again for such supportive replies