Do you avoid your DCs allergens?

[Teapig]

DD is 7 months and has lots of food allergies (dairy, egg, nuts, wheat, soy). DH and I have cut all those allergens out of our diet, we won't have them in the house as some (esp dairy) are very severe.
I've just weaned her on to Neocate and stopped BF and today I'm out to lunch with some girlfriends while DH kindly looks after DD.
I miss cheese and chocolate and would love to have a 'normal' lunch but I don't want to jeapordise DDs chances of outgoing her allergies. I wonder if I really wipe my hands and mouth afterwards it might be ok to eat what I like this once or is that really selfish?
How far do you go to avoid your LOs allergens? Do you avoid them when your DCs aren't there?

DS2 has a peanut and tree nut allergy.
We have no peanut or nut products in the house, we do have things that may contain nut traces mainly for older DC who eat them in their rooms and wash hands and faces afterwards. We keep these in a tin on a high cupboard.
DH and I went to a party where there were peanuts the other day, which as we'd had a few drinks we ate. I felt really bad later on and the pair of us spent ages washing before we left the party and when we got home.
We have now decided to get our nut fixes on our weekends away and recently went to DH's work party with a huge bag of peanuts.

It's hard isn't it notso? I wonder if it's worth all the worry and the washing but then again I wonder if the risk is pretty low so I'll be eating with a knife and fork and hopefully not getting much round my mouth so I shouldn't have too much contact.
My friends are coming to my house afterwards so I wonder how much washing I should ask of them. I was going to ask them to baby wipe themselves but perhaps that's not enough.

Yes, but DS only has a couple of serious ones so it's easy.

Sometimes, if DS is at school, I buy a panini with pesto (pine nuts) in. I eat it over paper napkins and wash my face and hands afterwards.

Not much use to you I'm afraid, OP, but I've been reading this and other threads while eating a huge stack of peanut butter on toast, as severely- allergic DS is away this weekend so I can safely get my peanut butter fix - I don't have peanuts in the house usually as it's just easier to manage that way, but every 6 months or so I have to indulge my craving as I bloody love peanut butter

I think it all boils down to the level of risk you are comfortable with. There may be statistics that say the risk of you passing an allergen on to your DD is this or that percent, but really it comes down to what will make you feel comfortable at lunch. You know you will be careful and it's highly probable that whatever you eat she'll be fine, so I would just make the decision based on what will work for you - can you indulge in cheese and chocolate and not feel worried afterwards, or will you worry enough to negate the enjoyment of the 'forbidden' foods?

Hopefully your DD will outgrow some if not all of her allergies - DS had to avoid all nuts and most dairy for years (though dairy was more an intolerance than a full-on severe allergy). Now he's 14 and just left with the peanut allergy which, sadly, it looks like he's stuck with.

I avoid all of ds 1's allergens (and there are many). He is 5 years old and I am still breastfeeding him. Obviously that isn't going to continue for much longer and then I will have a difficult decision to make. ..

Breastfeeding has been my 'excuse' until now. When I finally stop feeding him breastmilk, there will be no truly valid reason why I can't have a bit of cheese on toast or whatever when he has gone to bed.

Our whole house is an allergen free zone. .. This is partly because neither dh or I are very good at washing up. But this means that our 12 month old baby has never been exposed to ds1's allergens, and is on a restricted diet when there may be no need.

I want ds1 to feel that home is his safe place. He is so good about checking everything when we are out. But I also have the rights of the baby to consider.

I think I will continue to follow the same restricted diet as ds1 until HE tells me there is no need - because I don't want him to feel alone with this. I have also developed a real aversion to the food he is allergic to, and have grown so used the restricted diet that I don't think I will suffer by continuing.

We all deal with these things differently. Sorry this is rambling and not very helpful! !!

We are lucky that DS's allergies aren't severe (cleaning his face and hands and then giving him piriton sorts the problem in minutes) so although we don't cook as much with dairy as we use to we still have it in the house and e.g. breakfast is a dairy rich meal for the rest of us. Which the dietician recommended so we still got enough calcium (she actually didn't want me to cut dairy out of the main meal at teatime but I don't think it's fair to make him eat something different from the rest of us regularly). The DDs aren't allowed to eat cheese or drink milk in the sitting room anymore, they are just too small themselves to be reliable about not spilling or dropping so it's allergen containing food at the dining table only.

Thanks for sharing your experiences ladies. I weighed up the risks yesterday and decided to have an unrestricted lunch with lots of wiping and hand washing afterwards. It was bloody amazing!
I now have to avoid temptation today as DD is coming out for a family lunch and I need to get back on the wagon.

Glad you enjoyed your lunch, OP

DS has life-threatening allergies to milk, wheat, eggs and nuts, DD is coeliac and DH is allergic to nuts but, call me selfish if you wish, I eat whatever I want although I don't really like nuts so that's not an issue. It comes down to personal choice but my opinion is life isn't freefrom so it's better to learn how to manage the risks effectively rather than trying to totally avoid them. I'm extremely careful about cross-contamination eg always use separate utensils etc and we all make sure we wash our hands and faces after eating anything DS is allergic to but he's always going to encounter people (especially kids) who are eating or have eaten foods he's allergic to. Again, some may call me harsh but I also believe both my children have to get used to the fact that there are foods they can't eat that others can and they have to learn how to stay safe when I'm not around. I'd rather they learn about the possible risks at home with me first rather than waiting until they're out and about on their own.

As for the possibility of jeopardising their chances of outgrowing their allergies, the jury's still out but there's quite a lot of research to suggest that 100% avoidance can actually decrease the chances of outgrowing allergies, that's why a number of desensitisation programmes have been developed and seem to be showing a high level of success.

Im with freerommum. DS is 18 now and has outgrown peanut, but not treenuts or sesame. I have always had food around the house and it is his responsibility to check. The schools he went to didnt have a nut bans either.

Thanks ladies. DH and I talked about having a sneaky take away when DD is in bed but somehow it felt too risky. But I agree that life isn't freefrom so perhaps we'll do it.
DD is too little to learn about keeping safe but I agree it's important to make sure she learns at home how to do that. I hate to think of her feeling different and missing out but then again I know that's going to be the reality.
Whenever we go out as a family DH and I take pains to avoid all her allergens and we are now utterly sick of salad. Maybe we'll relax our stance a little while keeping DD safe.
I wish there was consenus on the total avoidance/trace amounts thing.
Thanks for sharing your experiences guys, that really gives me food for thought.