Feeling overwhelmed - please help

[Spottybra]

DS has to avoid foods in the nightshade family (potato, tomato, bell peppers etc) and DH has just been confirmed a celiac.

DH works away, cannot make any dietician appts until his holidays at Christmas. Has left me to gather info and says he will text or call before he eats so I can help him with his diet until he is used to it. He's hoping this will get him back into the athlete he used to be.

DS is 4 so obviously that's my responsibility to sort his diet out.

DD is 2 and refuses any diary products. To the point she would rather go hungry.

I'm trying to do a shopping list and a separate 'ok to eat', 'need to avoid' list for DH to take away with him.

I've been up all night as we went out for a meal last night and ds reacted within 5 mins of taking his first bite by being violently sick everywhere.

I'm exhausted. We only have half a swede, a wholemeal loaf, sunflower spread and a packet of sausages. I need to go shopping and I need a list!!!

And any recipes. I can cook. I can make pastry. I cannot make bread.

Help me!

I would concentrate on looking after your children and finding food they can safely eat. Your DH is an adult, he can sort out his own diet.

I'm not surprised your feeling overwhelmed. We went GF 18 months ago and that was enough of a challenge.
Point you DH towards the Coeliac UK website, he can use that to help him, there will also be lots of 'foods to avoid' posters online, print one off for him. If he shops for himself whilst away supermarket own brand produce has very clear allergy labelling on them, if eating out staff know which items are GF.
The big decision you have to make is which foods you are going go 'allow' in the house, personally I think it's important that children with allergies/intolerances have a safe place where they don't have to think about what the can or can't eat so I would have a nightshade free house.
I would also want all family meals suitable for everyone - it avoids any worries about cross contamination.
You will need to check the labels on GF foods for potato flour/starch. Most GF pasta will be fine (I find Doves Farm and supermarket own brands are good) but GF flours and breads will probably have potato. You could easily make your own GF flour blend using a selection of flours
( e.g rice/tapioca/ buckwheat flour- you can easily get them at big supermarkets or healthfood shops), there are loads of recipes on line for gluten free flour blends. You could then use this in your general cooking.
For breakfasts you can have cereal, toast, pancakes, fruit, yogurt. There are GF cereals available. If Only your DH has GF toast he will need his own butter/ spreads as even a crumb could make him I'll. He will also have to avoid any oats initially (even GF oats).
Lunches- sandwiches, soups (country vegetable, pea & ham, chicken - make your own and freeze them), omlettes.
Dinners - GF pasta with carbonara type sauce, Risotto. Meat stews made with sweet potato/ yams/ butternut squash. Burger with sweet potato chips ( in a GF bun for DH). Cod in parsley sauce with rice and veg. Make your own chicken nuggets with GF cornflake coating. Roast dinner with sweet potatoes and GF yorkshires (GF yorkshires are easy to make and taste better - you can also use the batter to make toad in the hole.
initially concentrate on finding some family meals, have a few on rotation and gradually add to these.
If you can go shopping without the kids at first - initially you will only see what you can't have but your brain soon re-programmes.
If you don't have a pinterest account yet open one up. Create 3 boards - GF, Nightshade Free, For everyone. There are loads of recipes online, pin them when you find ones you like.
Don't worry about your 2yo, she is probably just going through a phase- don't make too many allowances for her.
It will get easier with time and practise.

Find 7 family meals

Thank you. I do really want us to eat as a family, that's really important to me.

Lots of research to do!

Something I would recommend is to have a couple of meals in the freezer (either home made or ready meals- I keep a couple of M&S curries which are GF). Then you've something on standby just in case your home late / have a culinary disaster/ have an emergency.
Also you (and others) will make mistakes (and DS & DH will suffer the consequences). Don't beat yourself up when this happens, just work out how it happened and how best to prevent it.

My tip for a "tomato" sauce is to use grated carrot and blended beetroot (the vacuum packed type not the type in vinegar). I used it in bolognese sauce etc.