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Allergies and intolerances

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May Contain & rude man behind us in shop queue as we checked ingredients

9 replies

greenbananas · 04/10/2013 13:44

I need to let off some steam! Can't quite work out why this has annoyed me so much.

Sorry this is long, but here's the full story:

I have to bring 5 year DS home for lunch from school every day (he is in reception and the school say they will be able to include him eventually, but first they want to train the midday supervisors in allergy management and make sure other children are always wiping their hands and faces after eating).

DS is a bit sad that he is the only one who comes home for lunch, so I try to make it special for him. Today, he decided that he wanted hot dogs, but we hadn't got any rolls, so I said he couldn't. He suggested that we could buy some rolls from the Co-op across the road, and he promised to eat extra quickly afterwards.

Anyway, the Co-op had run out of what we wanted, but DS took a strong fancy to a french stick he saw at the front of the shop ("Please can we check the ingredients?) The trouble is, all Co-op bakery products 'may contain' everything from milk and soya to crustaceans and fish! so we usually avoid them. DS said we should "ask the lady" (he knows all the bakery stuff is made on the premises, so we decided to ask what else was made on the same trays. Asking the lady took maybe a minute or 90 seconds, and she was very helpful.

I was just getting out my purse to pay when a man barged in front of us, saying "I can't wait while you talk about bread all day" and thrust a wodge of money wrapped around an electricity smart card at the shop assistant. "I'm in a hurry", he said, "I've got to get back to work and I've got the dog waiting in the car". The shop assistant's mouth dropped open slightly, but she served him first because he looked intimidating.

What he wanted done took AGES - far longer than we would have been - and we were in a hurry too bacause I had to get DS back to school. There was plenty of time for him to tell me that he knew all about bread, was a qualified sports nutritionist, that we should eat soda bread instead, that we should make it ourselves and buy a breadmaker (we have one), that he didn't let his children eat chocolate or sweets when they were young so he knows all about checking ingredients, that I should feed DS porridge and strawberries and banana for breakfast (actually he had porridge and strawberries yesterday but is allergic to banana)... and so on!

Of course, that man was just being an idiot, and you always do get people like that. I think what really wound me up was the assumption that, if you want to check ingredients, you should get to the back of the queue. Normally, we do wait until there is no queue if we can, but this man has made me think... WHY should DS's genuine need to check ingredients be less important than that man's dog waiting in the car? Why should people with allergies have to stay at the back of the queue while people push past them (it has happened to us before in supermarket cafes and other places). I don't want DS to get the message that his needs aren't important, that he should either take risks by not asking about ingredients or just go hungry at lunchtimes.

If you've read all that, thank you - I feel so much better for getting it off my chest!

OP posts:
5madthings · 04/10/2013 13:47

He was a twat end of!

Sorry your ds had to experience that :(

I would have wanted to be argumentative back to at least have a strong word but it's hard when you have kids with you.

Of course you shouldn't have to wait or go to the back of the queue!

I hope ds managed to have a nice lunch in the end. Xx

greenbananas · 05/10/2013 21:58

5madthings thank you so much for replying.

I am ashamed of writing such a long and rambly post - was literally shaking after this experience, but I think it was just because the man was so ridiculously aggressive. I was very calm at the time, but when I got home I was really upset.

DS was happy with his hot dogs, and its' good that he saw I was determined to check ingredients for him even in the face of this weird man and his weirdness.

Thank you again for your sympathy - it really helps to talk to people who know where I am coming from on this. Smile

OP posts:
ItLooksLikeRainDear · 05/10/2013 22:36

I'm angry for you, what an arse. I hate it when people make assumptions about you & yours without knowing anything.

SavoyCabbage · 05/10/2013 22:48

He was just a bit of a twat. Just forget about him. There are loads of idiots in the world.

Until you have a child with these allergies you can't imagine what it is like. Everyone has got their problems.

freefrommum · 06/10/2013 00:08

As the others have said he was a selfish arrogant idiot. Problem is us parents of kids with allergies tend to already be paranoid about being perceived as neurotic so these kind of idiots really don't help. Try not to let wasters like that get you down x

PieceOfTheMoon · 06/10/2013 00:37

What a horrible rude man. When I encounter people like that I always think what mean, sad lives they must live if that's how they treat people. Perhaps the only friend he has in the world is his dog.

May09Bump · 06/10/2013 00:53

He is an idiot - its hard with ds with you as you don't want an argument.

I would have said - I'm glad your not my nutritionist as you have no idea what my DS is allergic to and just advised me to feed him an allergen. He is also in the wrong field, sports not peds.

My son has loads of allergies - very severe ones too, the comments that get me are - the products ok as it gluten free. FFS - he is allergic to nuts, dairy, eggs, wheat and soy -- gluten free products hardly cover it.

I think we have to grow a thick skin and put our children's medical needs first. But rant away - can I join you. Sometimes I think a lot of people think allergies are an inconvenience, not a medical issue - drives me bonkers.

greenbananas · 06/10/2013 09:04

Ah, thank you all!

I know that just nodding and smiling was the right reaction, and that I shouldn't have felt so upset afterwards.

freefrommum, you're so right about always worrying that people just think I am being neurotic.

OP posts:
ILoveAFullFridge · 06/10/2013 09:13

Some people are just rude. Well done for presenting a calm front to your ds. It's a shame you didn't feel up to telling him that he was queue-jumping, and that the assistant allowed his rudeness to be rewarded, but perhaps next time you'll feel certain enough of yourself not to let such a person get away with such rude and arrogant behaviour.

Was there only one person serving? If so then Mr Know-All should have waited his turn. If not, then it would have been reasonable for him to ask whether he could go ahead while you waited for the other assistant to answeryour query.

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