Dealing with playschool, birthday parties, playdates, etc

[Lima1]

Hi my DS1 is almost 4 years old and has an egg and possibly peanut and tree nut allergy. He has outgrown a number of allergies but still quite allergic to egg - he has only ever eaten food that had traces of egg in it and he reacted thus far with hives, stomach pains and flushing. The hospital prescribed an apapen even though he hasnt had an anaphalaytic reaction but because he is reacting toeating small amounts of food with only traces of egg (in powered form so very processed). He has always had positive SPT and RAST for peanuts and tree nuts so they have also been avoided. The hospital did a peanut component test (arah2 I think) and it came back negative so I am currently waiting on the results of a second one done by a different hospital which I will get on Thursday, so there is a possibility that he may not be allergic to peanuts or at least not likely to have an allergic reaction.

My concerns are that he is starting in playschool on Thurs. The school dont have a nut or egg ban and they children are allowed to bring in whatever snacks they like. The girls minding my DS are trained on the anapen and know to watch for what foods are being brought in and to watch him for any reaction. The owner is a nurse but she really doesnt take allergies seriously. The cook their own food and regularly serve scrambled eggs and omlettes despite they fact that my ds and another child are quite allergic to egg. The last hospital he was under the care of said once the tables are cleaned he should be fine. What are policies in your DC playschools?
Anyway now that he is starting playschool im sure it wont be long before he is being invited to parties and on playdates. I have no idea how to handle this. How do you strike the balance between gettiing the message across and not scaring them off. It is the norm here that parents dont stay especially if the party is in the child's home.
DS was at a birthday party last week at a friend of mines house so I stayed with him. There was very little food he could safely eat. He is very careful and will ask me if he can eat it beforehand. He wanted to eat a snowball and I was pretty sure there was egg in it. I checked the ingredients and it was listed as 'albumen'. Luckily it was me reading it as no-one I know would have realised that it was egg and would have given it to him. This of course has made me even more nervous.

Do others just insist they stay until the child is a bit older? I presume you dont train everyone on the auto injecters?
Its all starting now!!!

Thanks

I'm not in a position to advise, but both DH and I were the kids who took their own food & cakes to parties as kids (for different reasons, and not together, that would be weird - it was a bonding thing!)

Yeah, it's a bit weird being the odd kid with special food, but no harm in the long run. It's not difficult for a 4 year old to understand they have to stick to their own food, although for parties it's a good idea to make it special party food too!

Good luck.

I work in a nursery and we have a little girl who is very allergic to eggs. We have taken several precautions and these are:-
before she started, we invited mum in for a chat to tell us how she coped at home
she filled in a an allergy care plan, with details of the symptoms, and what to do in an emergency- this is pinned to the wall in the kitchen, along with where to find the epipen
we arranged training for all members of staff on how to use the epipen
we sent out a newsletter asking all parents not to bring in foods containing eggs for packed lunches
we printed out 'no eggs' posters for the kitchen, the fridge and 'no egg boxes' posters for the junk modelling area
we removed any egg boxes that were already in the junk modelling area and asked parents not to send any egg boxes in, including the little old lady who lives across from the nursery who sends in her old boxes for the children to use in the craft area
when she started we made sure we checked all ingredients in food that we bought and we didn't buy anything with egg in, so she couldn't be given it by mistake
we use no eggs in baking activities
we sat next to her at packed lunch and made sure she only ate her own food and that children who had cakes etc with eggs in sat at another table
we made sure that we did not contribute to cross contimanation by ensuring that we only used disposable cloths to wash the tables with after snack

in other words, we took all reasonable precautions to ensure she did not come into contact with eggs
but we also made sure that everyone in the nursery knew what to do if she did
her mum has said she trusts us completely to care for her dd, even though she was really nervous at first

Thanks RU, I was thinking that would have to be a way to go. He is only 3 yrs and 10 mths but fairly clued in about his allergies. That being said I couldnt be 100% sure he wouldnt eat something he isnt supposed to especially if he was told it was ok by an adult.

Glad to hear it hasnt had any lasting effects on you!

insancerre, that care plan sounds excellent. My playschool hasnt been nearly as careful. He has come home a few times with hives, once from being given casserole made with a stock cube that contained traces of egg (the lady said she didnt know she had to check ingredients only that she coudnt give him an egg) and the second time was from cross contamination of home made salmon cakes. After the second time I kicked up a fuss and literally went through the kitchen press and checked all the labels myself. No accidents since then thankfully. I think the cross contamination scared them a bit as it made them realise that they need to be very vigilant.
My fear is from kids bringing in Nutella sandwiches, bars containing nuts and/or egg, etc. The girl minding him is excellent and she is the only reason im sending im there as I know she will mind him and watch him at snack times. Thhe hospital are ringing me with his latest test results on Thurs so ill ask them for their opinion too.

thanks, lima
we try to be really inclusive and work really hard at making the environment safe for all our children
sounds like the cook could do with better training
the playschool could ask parents not to bring in nuts or eggs

special plate of safe party food and I offered to stay if the parent wanted it. Mostly they took me up on the offer, the first time they didn't I sat in the car nearby.

I had a trainer pen and the parents were shown how to use an epipen. No snacks sent into playgroup, they were provided.

Insancerre what a lovely care plan.

I am impressed by that care plan.

Ds is allergic to eggs and nuts and a lot of other foods as well, including milk. At his preschool, the care plan was much the same, especially checking craft materials, although other children did eat food he is allergic to at snack time. He sat on the water table (children who had chosen to drink water not milk) and had an adult sat next to him with an empty space the other side of him. All children had their hands wiped on the way into preschool andafter snack time.

We were given plenty of notice about cooking activities, and I adjusted recipes so that everybody could cook the same thing safely and ds could be included.

I provided all junk modelling boxes and cartons etc so that staff didn't have to check the ingredients on every single packet (though they were prepared to do this).

All staff were trained to use the epipen, even administration staff, and I know they reviewed that training regularly. I liked and trusted the staff, and I knew they were being just as careful and clued up as I would be at home. We were very lucky!

At parties, ds always takes his own food and doesn't have a problem with that as it makes him feel safe and is what he has always been used to. I feel is unfair to expect a party giving mum to try catering for his long list of allergies and would cause him unnecessary stress.

I know this can be daunting, but it is all do-able. Children with allergies can live relatively normal lives

Forgot to say that obviously tables and floors were wiped meticulously. Does your ds react on skin contact? If so, check ingredients of soap in the loos - liquid soap is safer than bars because of cross contamination from children with eggy hands, but some contains sweet almond oil etc.

I have started hosting playdates for a friend of DS's with allergies (dairy, nuts, some fruit). I basically asked for a list of what he could eat and ensure I give him that. I am careful about surfaces, serving equipment and also my non-bf baby who is generally very milky. I have also tried to teach DS to be subtle around his friend re eating. He wants to ask lots of questions as to why his friend cannot eat x etc.

At 5 the friend seems very aware of what he can and cannot eat. He carries his apepen with him.

Just mention this as an eg of playdates working well.

Hope playschool goes well.

At secondary school my child went to the home of a new friend whose mother emptied out her chip pan and threw away all the fat to avoid the possibility of trace contamination from the oil. It was vegetable and she thought it might have nut or lentil in. When I heard about this I told my child off for not telling the mother refined oil is rarely a problem but it was apparently done before the children got there. We just use oven chips.

Just an example of how thoughtful some parents can be and why checking with the parent or child can sometimes save fuss.

We've also had caterers worrying about coconut (not a nut so fine for most nut allergy sufferers) and refusing to listen to my child telling them it was fine.

I know how you are feeling and it is a difficult and worrying time (I remember it well!) but it's all doable I promise. You have obviously taught your child well and helped him understand his allergies from a young age, which is really important.

The nursery definitely needs an allergy management plan but I don't believe in blanket food bans as life isn't freefrom and these bans are virtually impossible to police and give a false sense of security. It's more important that everyone knows how to avoid any cross-contamination or accidents and what to do if a reaction does occur. My DS (now 6) is allergic to milk, wheat, eggs and nuts so I think it would be pretty unreasonable to expect any childcare setting to ban all those things! Both nursery and school have been fantastic in managing his allergies. The most important step was sitting down with staff and the allergy/school nurse to talk about how we manage his allergies at home, the early signs of a reaction to look out for, how to avoid contamination and what to do in case of a reaction (both mild and severe). The nursery staff must speak to all the children about your DS's allergies and explain that they mustn't share food and must always wash their hands and faces after eating, especially before touching or playing with your child. If the children are doing any activity involving food the staff should discuss this with you in advance so that you can bring alternative 'safe' ingredients in and they should make sure your child has their own clean space to carry out the activity without contamination from the others.

As for parties, I'm amazed that parents leave their children at such a young age. Where we live, this doesn't happen until approx. 7 years old. With my DS, I will still have to stay at parties and play dates even when he's over 7 unless it's one of a few close friends who've agreed to be epi-pen trained. We always take our own food and I try to find out beforehand what sort of food the others are having so that I can bring something similar. If there's fresh fruit I ask if we can take some off the plate for DS before the other children have touched it. DS is very aware of his allergies and knows that he can't eat the same things as others but he's perfectly happy and healthy and we try to make sure that his life is as normal as possible (not always easy!).