Wow... thanks for all the support, everyone! I should point out that the specialist didn't' actually say i HAD to give up b/fing; she said she had a few mothers who didn't take her recommendation.. but then went on to say things about them that generally suggested they were a bit bonkers (though i personally agreed with them). I think her theory is that by stopping, you can control the allergens much better, and she said that all the benefits were gained in the first 3 months of b/fing (let's see the reaction that one brings on here! (and no, i don't agree with that last bit either)). Perhaps it's all based on her experience of mothers who don't actually want to give up their normal diet..
Whilst I've gotten rid of most of DS2's symptoms, it would be great to get rid of them all - including the reflux that's causing him pain - but, selfishly, it would also be great to be able to eat a chocolate digestive - or even an oat cake biscuit (whimpers as her previously 'ok' ginger oatcakes are taken away because of soy lecithin) - when i'm at playgroup, or to buy a sandwich at boots when i'm in a hurry and need food. We have been recommended a dietician - I'll follow that up, and I've pulled out all the cookbooks to start perusing recipes that fit a household that's non meat/dairy/soy/nut/lentil/egg, with a diabetic and a terribly fussy 4 year old. At least I might lose some more of the baby fat!
Tried DS2 on neocate this morning just to see his reaction - pretty much the same as mine (i tried it; it DOES taste awful). I think I'll just continue the b/fing while i can, and spend a month or two to see how it goes before i give in. DP (who also wants me to give up b/fing so i can fall pregnant again immediately), can just live with it (i've hit that big multiple of 10 age where people start to worry). And as for the 'if i'm pregnant, does it change', well, i had nasty cramps last week that i can only guess were implantation cramping (AF is back, but irregular), but I've POAS'd each day since (no sense of patience - can you tell?) and still negative, so maybe it was just random cramping (???).
Balloonslayer... thanks; it's great to hear other people's stories..
Provincial ... specialist suggested that it's more than just the CMP that pass through the breastmilk (could be nuts I ate that caused DS1's recent facial swelling), but worth researching (MM makes note to see dr google - did see some LaLeche yesterday, but not as helpful as i was hoping)
DucksCake .. thanks; all advice gratefully received.
GreenBananas.. I bow down to you. You are a goddess (4 day old and giving clear, sane, concise advice? wow). (oh, and yes, i've started eating meat out of the house too - how few restaurants do a veg meal with no dairy!)
Freefrom... I think i'm with you. Variety of potential diet is always good - if something does go awry (i had huge problems b/fing DS1), I'd like to think that DS2 will at least take neocate in his porridge or similar. I'd rather use that than oatmilk while he's young. (and before you say it, everyone, I just don't make enough b/milk by expressing for it to be of any use - despite the hospital grade, double pump).
Bilbomum.. i think you've got the key here; it's the menu planning i need to get my head around (i've gotten lazy and tend to just decide on the day what we're having - usually based on what was left in the fridge).
Weta.. Interesting about age for neocate in france. wow. makes you think.
Thank you so much, all.. feeling much better about my approach today, after reading all this!