18 month old just diagnosed with nut allergy. Feeling guilty, panicked and helpless

[peppaforpresident]

18 month old just got diagnosed. I feel completely overwhelmed. No bad reaction IRL; she's part of a study into allergies that she took part in; but came out of nowhere, the docs loaded me up with epipens and antihistamines to have with me at all times. I feel completely overwhelmed - how to cope; what happens when she gets older and goes round to friends' houses and things like that.
I just feel totally down.

Hello Peppa

My DD has multiple allergies and it's taken me a long time to come to terms with it and in some respects I still haven't.

It is a very hard thing to have to take in and adjust to but, 'society' seems to be very well geared up to accepting Nut allergies and labelling and information is generally very good for the main allergens including nut.

WIth my DD we found out the 'hard way' when she reacted to wheat at 6.5 months old which required an overnight stay in hospital. SInce then the list has grown and also includes all nuts.

All I would say is that I personally think that if your child has to have allergies then it's best to find out the easy way. I had enrolled my DS onto the EAT study for that very reason. I wanted to know if he has allergies and if he does what they are. And also to be part of a programme where you have access to the best doctors possible who are experts in all things to do with allergies. To keep DS on the study I had to breat feed him for at least 3 months and on the very day of teh 3rd month I had to admit defeat and start him on a hypoallergenic formula as although he was feeding well, his weight was dropping off the scale. He is 2.5 and DD is 4.5. I feed them the same foods and soon I will have to start giving him the foods that DD can't have. I am scared to do this but I have to. I so wish we could have stayed on the study and I am so pleased for you that you are and that you have found out the easy way.

I know it is really difficult for you so I am not trying to be judgey or anything so I hope this doesn't come across that way. If you can speak to the stydy team and see if it is possible for you to meet with them to discuss your feelings/concerns. You won't be the only one feeling like this.

Also, as baby says above there are some great helplines out there. The allergy UK and the Anaphylaxis campaign are brilliant. This forum and the allergy UK ones are also excellent and there are lots of us in the same position so please don't let yourself feel that you are alone in this.

Sending you big hugs and I hope you're feeling less down soon and remember we are here for you and your little one.

Sorry for my long post. xxx

thanks mum and baby for your very helpful posts. I am finding it all overwhelming at the moment. Seeing her react to the tests was horrible. It's the EAT study I'm part of, and I am glad she's having access to good doctors as a result. It'll get better i'm sure, just scary at the moment.
too tired to write more but didn't want to ignore your posts...

The beginning is extremely overwhelming, so you are going through a very Norma reaction. It's a bit like grieving I remember, grieving for what you feel is your child's lost normality. Do not feel guilty, there's nothing you have done wrong. It is just a hard change I'm afraid to start with.

But it honestly does get much easier. Before you know it you will be an expert on nut free foods and what to do. It is a steep learning curve, but you will all get there, and you will keep your dd safe. Our dd is also on the eat study!

Like BB has said, the anaphylaxis campaign is great. There is also a Facebook group for children with nut allergies.

Please PM me anytime if you need anything. Cadburys and nestle both do nut free lists on their websites so you know what you can eat safely at home (if you decide to make your home nut free, which is a personal choice of course.)

Big hugs. I hope you're feeling ok today.

Can completely relate to this. We found out the hard way when ds3 (then 2) put a cashew to his lips. 40 minutes later he was dangerously ill in A and E.

It does get easier though, we don't eat out at all as restaurants are too risky, but I feel pretty confident that my shopping list is safe. I like Sainsburys labelling system so tend to shop there.

Oh and we avoid all nuts and seeds. He is very good and understands never to eat something unless mum or dad has said it is ok. Mn has been a great source of expertise for us. Thank goodness as some of the ignorance and complacency out there has shocked us.