anxiious about stopping bf DC2 due to DC1's history of allergies, wheezing, eczema etc

[whenwillisleepagain]

Sorry this is long and just really a bit of a vent, but I thought people on this thread would get the nature of my concerns.

DS is now 5.5 and had eczema at 9 weeks, found to have peanut allergy at 5 months and subsequently confirmed with egg and fish allergies. He had viral wheeze at 17 months for first time and was admitted to hospital, one subsequent admission for viral wheeze just after his 2nd birthday, and in between those 2 admissions, he had a reaction to something at nursery and was injected with an epipen and taken to A&E. Things have settled down with DS and touch wood, all his conditions are much improved and / or well managed. My obsessive neurotic concern though is that I stopped bf two weeks before he first got viral wheeze and I am desperate to stop bf-ing my DD, who was recently 2, but I worry about a repetition. So far she has only recently begun to show signs of anything atopic going on - cradle cap, tiny bit of mild eczema, but otherwise ok.

In my attempt to do the right thing I have talked to 2 GPs at our practice, and DS's paed allergy consultant. GP and consultant said no connection between the viral wheeze and my stopping bf DS, GP2 more equivocal. Then I googled, which was really stupid as I found a study that suggests asthmatic mums may pass on asthma by bf-ing, so I then panicked that I might have done this to DD. Anyhow I am sure I want to stop and plan to do so this weekend, I just need someone to tell me it's ok,. Which is kind of where you come in. DD's sleep is terrible and I am exhausted, and I feel that exhaustion must be worse for our immune systems. It's just that all the guidance around bf and allergies has changed so much or been so contradictory since I was pg with DS in 2006. I guess it's more asthma than allergies that I am worried about, but of course they all come as such a package. DD is my last child so there is a lot of sadness anyway about stopping bf and coupled with my feeling I did something wrong with DS, it's not leaving me very rational.

I'm afraid I don't know anything about asthma, but I just wanted to say you're not alone. I have a ds with egg and tree nut allergies who is currently still breastfed, and although I have no plans to stop, I am already starting to feel some of the emotions that you are around stopping. I think it's because he's coming up to the age when I stopped bfing dd, and that's bringing back the feelings I had at that time, as well as the worry that his allergies may worsen when he stops being breastfed. He too is a terrible sleeper, going around four hours max at a time, so I do sympathise with the exhaustion you must be feeling.

I think the thing we have to keep in mind is that it is simply not known what causes allergies, asthma and so on in our children. I have seen studies that advocate bfing as protection against allergies, and others that say bfing is a possible factor in the rise of allergies. The safest bet is that genetics play a huge part in pre-determining allergies, and acutally there's not much we can do about that. It's only natural to look for a reason, and the first person we look to blame is usually ourselves. (I should really listen to my own advice, by the way, I really do struggle with the idea that I am to blame in some way for ds's allergies ) You have done so well in getting this far with your dd, please don't beat yourself up about stopping now.

I'm sorry I can't offer any more experience or advice, but sending you good luck for this weekend. Go easy on yourself

Asthma is mostly genetic and there is a strong connection between excema, asthma and allergies so it is likely that it was in the genetic makeup. I've never heard of giving asthma by bfing and it doesn't sound physically possible to me. There is a relationship between food allergies and birth by Caesarian because the baby doesn't get the good bacteria as it passes down the birth canal, there have only been a few, relatively small studies showing this though.

Also, as dd appears susceptible to allergies I would minimise exposure to chemical foods such as formula milk, colourings, artificial sweeteners etc.

agree with happycamel.

stop beating yourself up with this, breastfeeding does not cause asthma nor does bottle feeding.

if you didnt breast feed you would be worrying about formula causing the problem.

so chill.

we have a lot to bear being parents of allergic children, and this isnt going to help.
focus on whats ahead, pat yourself on the back that lack of reaction means that you are managing things well.

I fed all my four children for years, my youngest , during her teens has just been diagnosed with intol and enviromental allergies, so focusing on breastfeeding as a cause or prevention doesnt really work with the indivdual child in front of you.
(3rd child was the ige food allergic person)

thank you all ever so much, posting made me feel a bit better and then reading your replies was just really nice and affirming (if that's the right word).Yup time to stop beating myself up and move on!

I bfed all four of mine.

Ds1 to 5 months. First viral wheeze episode at 13 months, several admissions, now under control, no allergies or eczema.

Ds2, fed to 9 months, followed same viral wheeze pattern as DS1, allergic to eggs.

DTS, still bfing at 10 months. Allergic to dairy, eggs and cats that we know about. Several viral wheeze episodes already, starting at around 6 months. Nasty eczema on face related to food allergies. Generally a bit of a nightmare all round.

DTD, his twin sister also still bfed, no wheeze, mildly allergic to dairy and egg, no eczema.

In my experience bfing cannot override our genes, and we're prone to all this in our family. It's good, but it's not that good!

I'm sure your DS's viral wheeze happening after finishing bfing was pure coincidence, and your daughter will be just fine. If she is unlucky enough to have viral wheeze or allergies, I don't think bfing will have played much of a part. Doesn't seem to have with mine!

Thank you jojay - yes I am sure you're right but it's just good to have someone like you spell it out for me. Also sorry your DTS has been having a bit of a time of it.

Eldest daughter (7 years old) - BF'd to 15 months. Extrememly mild asthma for about two years, now gone. Had a very mild allergy to cows milk from age 1 to 3. (Only reacted with hives around mouth and only when she drank milk. Goats milk was fine as was milk in cooking.

Younger daughter (6 years old)- BF'd to three and a half years. Severe eczema. Allergic to dust mites, dairy, sesame, some nuts and now, it appears, smoked fish. Viral wheeze.

You have done brilliantly for your daughter in breastfeeding this long. It looks like you, like me, just happen to have one schild who is susceptible to these things and one who isn't. My husband has eczema and asthma, so with my eldest I thought I'd done so well, doing everything 'right' to help her avoid having the same problems. Then I had my second child, did exactly the same with her and realised that there is no right or wrong. Some kids will react and some don't. It is nothing you've done or not done that has caused your eldest's allergies, so try not to beat yourself up.

I wish there was some straight forward answers that fit everyone!!

I stopped breast feeding and the last bit of eczema disappeared despite excluding wheat, dairy, sugar, nuts and seeds while feeding. In hindsight I can clearly see the link between me eating peanuts and some pretty difficult days.

I can only comfort myself knowing that dairy formula would have hurt him too.

Unfortunately any study will not be a study on your genetic profile, history and the links between one thing and another may be due to another factor not being analysed in the study.

Your DS and your DD have slightly different genetic profile and medical history so may not react in the same way.

Just do the best you can and take as little blame on our own shoulders as you can as life is hard enough without beating yourself up.