Why are people so 'resentful' or 'put out' or 'unwilling to help' when allergies are mentioned?

[mumat39]

I was googling earlier for nut free choc spread and came across this

I'm wondering if anyone finds the comment by stud u like, upsetting?

Following on from another post about a school not taking a child's celiac condition seriously, I'm feeling really confused about why this sort of attitude to what is a serious condition exists?

But, I don't know why there seems to be such alot of animosity towards anyone with an allergy or anyone who is merely looking out for someone with allergies.

I have experienced this first hand and every time I find it more and more depressing?

Is it just me that finds this difficult?

I think a lot of people thing the allergies are exaggerated by parents being over-fussy about their child.

I think part of this is because the use of the word allergy has become diluted, to mean anything from 'I don't like it' to 'it gives her a slight rash' to 'it sends her into anaphylactic shock'

Yes, I find that sort of comment depressing too. Pity it was a while ago, or I would have posted a cutting remark in reply. I've spent a few sleepless nights coming up with witty and damning ripostes to idiots who say that sort of thing. And of course forget them as soon as I encounter said idiots.

I think much of it is like Bombastic suggested.
I remember one woman on the school PTA who insisted that at an adults only social event no nuts be on the table in case any were transferred on her clothing when she got home.
We had already had a no nuts/peanut butter policy for packed lunches but many of us thought the social request was going a bit far. Her dc wasn't even equipped with an Epi pen so I imagine his 'allergy' perhaps wasn't as severe as she claimed.

I haven't read your link, but I agree with Bombastic the issue is, unfortunately so many people say they are allergic to things they are not allergic to, people who have to collect this information begin to get cynical over time.

That's a tough one, TAOB, because that's requiring a vigilance and dietary change from hundreds of parents who don't have an allergic child, especially as nut ingredients aren't always evident, unless you know to look for them. And no shampoo too? Gosh. But poor wee child too - must make ordinary life very difficult.

I'm not suggesting I would need to see your dc's insulin/syringe before I would believe you babybarrister. Hope you didn't think that.

The word 'allergic' is used incorrectly so much. Even dd (age 6), who must have had a lesson at school about allergies, is now insisting she is 'allergic' to mushrooms and years ago when escorting a group of 11 year olds on a activities week had a parent insist her dd was allergic to mince...but not steak.

Maybe because there are so many idiots who self diagnose, or claim allergies where there are none. People get used to this and then don't believe genuine allergies.

I'd say, in answer to your title, that it's because they don't have to live with the situation themselves and really can't be arsed to think about it. It's suddenly "too difficult" to have people to dinner, because "you can't really eat anything, can you?" (this has been said to me) Er yes, there are still loads of things I can eat, not every meal has to involve tomatoes or pasta, you know

It's causing them trouble - they have to think outside of their narrow range of experience and, oh my God, possibly actually work out what is in the food they're cooking; which is often just far too much like hard work.

People who don't have to live with allergy/intolerance mostly do not understand what it's like and quite frankly, most don't want to have to. Which is often why, IME, they will belittle the experience of others.
Added to that, there is a lot of misinformation and misunderstanding out there, including the idea that for an "allergy" to be serious it has to involve an epipen. No, it doesn't. Epipens are only effective for anaphylaxis - they won't do anything against sudden violent stomach cramps/explosive vomiting or diarrhoea.

Equally, the idea that an "intolerance" is just some kind of lentil-weavery MC sappiness (which I've seen it referred to as, on MN as well as elsewhere) - well no again. Gluten intolerance (coeliac disease in its severest form) can cause malnutrition and even death over time; but has a range of unpleasant symptoms up to that. Lactose intolerance can also cause death - severe dehydration due to diarrhoea etc. Often they go together, because the destruction of the villi in the small intestine reduces the production of the lactase, which creates lactose intolerance.

The rate of allergy/intolerance is ever increasing, no one really knows why, the hygiene hypothesis is just one idea but some don't give it much credibility - and just because "no one ever had it when I was at school", this is not a valid argument to use as to why "people must be making it up now."

(none of the " " bits are quotes, they are all there to show my feelings about the comments)

And maybe there is an assumption that if someone carries an epipen, well that's all right then...problem sorted

I think it's because so many people use the word 'allergic' inaccurately. A relative of mine claims her baby son is allergic to all milk products, but he eats yoghurt and cheese.

Thumbwitch, I think one of the reasons that allergies are on the increase is because in olden times, if you were anaphylactic, you probably would have died before the age of 3 from 'choking'. Sadly people didn't understand that you were only 'choking' because your throat had closed.

But that's only one type of allergy, Fairyfriend - and while I agree with you about that, there are more children out there with different allergy manifestations, such as eczema for example, than those who require an epipen (although they're on the increase as well of course).

In my relatively small circle of friends, there are 2 little boys who have multiple (tested for by paediatricians who deal with this stuff) allergies - one has an epipen, the other breaks out in all-over eczema.

I'd love to know what's behind it; I have my own theories but they'd be apostrophised as lentil-weavery conspiracy theory by many, I'm sure. Let's just say pollution has a lot to answer for, I believe.

fairyfriend my DH is lactose intolerant. However, yoghurts and some cheeses are fine. (The wrong cheese, however...)

I agree that many people use the word 'allergy' to mean 'I don't like it' or otherwise. I have a friend who is allergic to all kinds of foodstuffs, including nuts, and I don't have nuts for a few days before she comes round to eat. I'd hate for her to be ill because of something I did.

Interesting. I don't know much about pollution and its effects, tbh. But you're right, something must have changed.
Is it as simple as increased awareness/better testing?
For example, my mum gets a rash, and she's always largely ignored it. Way back, I think the doctor just recommended calamine lotion. I have developed a similar thing as I've got older and I've been tested for all sorts. I think we've finally settled on it being an odd form of hayfever.

I think most people are remarkably considerate about allergies. The problem is when blanket bans are applied, so that entire food groups become forbidden. My DCs were at a primary school where no nut based products or egg based products were allowed because of food allergies. We all accepted this, but it was restrictive & difficult sometimes. I often wondered how the children who were at risk managed in supermarkets or on public transport. I would never wish to put anyone's life at risk, but it does seem very extreme to ban foods (although I realise death is extreme too).

I myself am intolerant to wheat. I have IBS & wheat is my worst trigger. If I eat it, I will find myself spending the rest of the day in the loo & racked with debilitating cramps. However, whilst this is very inconvenient, my intolerance is not life threatening. I think there are alot of people like me, with intolerances or low grade allergies, who probably make more of it than they need to & before you know it everyone seems to have an "allergy".

I am very accommodating of people who have genuine allergies/intolerances, but I have been duped a few times because people will claim they have an allergy when really they are indulging in the latest diet fad.
My mil has claimed coeliac disease when what she meant was, she was doing Atkins.

No, I really don't think it is just about better diagnosis/testing, although that might be helping more people with skin conditions, for sure! Mind you, there is a suggestion that there are more people with coeliac disease than currently know it - the symptoms can be fairly mild but the damage can still occur. I think the current rate of coeliac disease is supposed to be 1% of the population, but may be higher - only people aren't going to get themselves tested for it unless the symptoms are severe or obvious enough.

Similarly with asthma - when I was at school there were probably 3 or 4 girls out of 90 in the year who had an inhaler, and one of those who was so bad she would be off school a lot, requiring nebuliser treatment.
Now I believe the asthma rate is 20-25% of children in the UK - that's one hell of an increase in 1-2 generations - and I'm pretty sure it's not over-exaggeration of symptoms (as in, giving inhalers just for the hell of it).

And what Sunny says is right - lactose intolerance may allow some consumption of yoghurt and some cheeses, where the lactose has been fermented out (almost) completely; but I had a friend with lactose intolerance and if she had cheese and yoghurt on any one day, it would still cause her problems.