Should dd be present during whole allergy appt?

[rosehb]

dd (4.4) has milk, egg, nut allergies and appt this week. Last appt was 18mths ago. I'm worried about how she'll feel having to sit and listen to me discussing all the reactions that she's forgotten about. She worries a lot about her allergies as it is and I hate the idea of her having to hear it all- am I over thinking it? What do you do at appts?

Not something I've had experience of, but I didn't want this to go unanswered. One thing springs to mind - could you write this all down for the doctor to read. You might even be able to email it in advance. That way, you can answer questions but you don't have to list them all out, IYSWIM. Might that help?

Thanks jennywren. Yes I think I might try writing down some stuff. I am finding it hard to find the right balance at the moment. I think I remember reading somewhere on one of these threads that 4-5 years is especially difficult psychologically- we're definately finding that:(

Luckily ds has never been too anxious about his allergies and has always been present for the whole appointment. I have never considered that he should not be there. Writing things down, with a comment about your dd's anxiety abou it sounds like a good idea.

Why is your dd having so many reactions? Has she developed more allergies do you think since she was last seen?

dd reacts to traces. Used to be that she would get contact hives all the time from traces of milk and we didn't worry too much as easily fixed with lots of hand washing etc and sometimes piriton. But over the last year she's been getting wheezy instead and has also had several reactions (lip swelling, vomiting, wheezing) to things which should have been fine but I assume were cross contamination issues. Lots to talk about at appt:(

I would say def developing environmental allergies which she didn't really have 18mths ago.

My ds is 9 now but has always been anxious about his allergies.
I think it was important for him to be in the consultation.
IME the Dr and Nurses at the allergy clinics are very good at keeping things simple and non alarming.
Ds would have been more anxious if we had not included him.

He has had 2 food challenges now and he was quite anxious about them..turned out he really enjoyed the experience despite failing one!

So if I was you I would include your dd and ensure that you are as calm and reassuring as possible .

I think the milk allergy must be a nightmare. We had egg and nuts initially, so much easier to avoid - even though ds also reacts to traces too.

When he outgrew egg allergy at 7 yrs, it was wonderful for him. It completely changed his life!

It may be that the consultant doesn't really need to know about every reaction since you last saw him/her. Just that there have been a few to traces. It probably just gives them a clue as to whether things have got worse or better.

Do you try to have a air of nonchalance about you when she reacts so she does not pick up on any panic from you?

Ds has also developed other allergies in recent years but his can be lessened and coped with bu do take some effort.

I try not to make anything a drama (not saying you do!), just a fact of life. Pointing out others with worse allergies sometimes helps too.

I would agree with the "nonchalance" suggestion - the doctor won't have any alarm and will use relatively medical terminology with you - your DD may well screen out such discussion.
My DD (just 5) would probably be completely distracted by some colouring/activities (or if you're lucky, a toy in the doctor's room, which distracts because it's new!) so you could have a good supply of that kind of thing so she only has to listen/be involved when she's actually being examined.

Also as others have said, the doc needs to know that reactions have been to traces, and what type of symptoms she's had, and perhaps how often reactions are happening, but doesn't need blow-by-blow account of any of them - so you should be safe from reminding her too much.

Good luck!

Thanks i feel a lot better about it all now. That makes sense that they don't need all details, I hadn't really thought of that... I'm trying to make a sensible list of things that need to be said without too much extra waffle.
ggirltwin It's good to hear your experience (sorry your ds is anxious too) and glad to hear your ds is okay with the appts. I think you're right that being included is important.
I'm not sure I quite manage to be nonchalant ever

So we had appt today. Was a bit annoyed to find we were only seeing the allergy nurse not the consultant... But dd did really well after a bit of a battle managed to do skin prick tests which showed huge reactions to egg and almond :( but only tiny bump for milk so we're getting referred for a challenge. I really didn't expect anything to change at all and obviously not great that egg and almond were even bigger reactions than 18mths ago but oh my god the idea that we may maybe maybe manage a slightly more normal existence

:o :o

wonderful news!
would be such a difference to her life if she wasn't allergic to milk