Would you choose or not choose a school if...

[mumat39]

all children were on school meals and your DC was the only one to have a packed lunch?

DD will be starting reception in September and one school we like has all of their children on school lunches. Unfortunately, DD has multiple food allergies to wheat, eggs, peanuts, treenuts, legumes (soya, peas, lentils, mung beans, chick peas, kidney beans so we avoid all of them), sesame, rapeseed oil and oats. I think she's also funny with garlic and celery and leeks but these haven't been tested. She is also allergic to cats and pollen. Due to bad experiences with cross contamination we have separate pots, pans, utensils etc.

So I can't imagine that any school or catering company will be able to manage meals that are safe and that haven't been cross contaminated.

This might all be academic as we still don't know which school she'll get into until mid April, but I'm trying to decide if this situation would be fair or unfair on DD. Any thoughts or advice would be very much appreciated.

Many Thanks in advance.

PS - I need loads of help on loads of aspects of having an allergic child so apologies in advance for all my posts.

First, don't apologise for all the posts - it is really hard to get your head around it all, especially at a time of big change like your child starting school, and given the other problems you've had!

My DS is 'only' allergic to dairy but when he started school (in France) the children all had hot meals or else went home for lunch. We needed him to have lunch at school a couple of days a week, so I took in his lunch in tupperware containers in an isotherm bag and the canteen staff collected it and then heated it up for him. So he did have a hot meal, but it was different to the other children's.

Then we moved to Luxembourg where some of the kids have packed lunches and they can't heat lunches up - so he has a packed lunch but mostly I give him a thermos flask with heated leftovers.

DS is now 8 and to be honest none of this has ever caused any problems - I know you are overwhelmed at the moment with feeling that your DD is being excluded etc (all very understandable and valid concerns on your part), but there are some things allergic children do just have to get used to. I think in fact you will find that they tend to be surprisingly resilient, mature and accepting of the situation. That said, it's obviously up to you to work out the criteria for choosing a school - I think for me if the rest of it added up and I felt they would manage the allergies well and generally be inclusive, I wouldn't make the lunch thing a dealbreaker.

PS I meant to say that when the staff heated up DS's lunch in the first school, they asked us to send in cutlery for him so that it wouldn't get mixed up with the other children's cutlery during the meal. I don't know if the school could manage something like this, but it worked really well for us.