practical ideas for inclusion at pre-school

[greenbananas]

This is another pre-school thread, and I'm sorry it's a bit long.

DS has various severe food allergies, including dairy. I enrolled him in pre-school last term, and accompanied him to a few sessions. The staff had good intentions, but were not very good at remembering about his allergies.

For example,

• other children were sent away from the snack table / cooking activities with their hands and faces still covered in milk and margarine
• DS was allowed to take his own food, but was required to sit about six inches away from children who were eating risky foods and kept trying to touch DS's food
• the member of staff supervising the snack table kept getting up and walking away to fetch things from the kitchen
• staff provided unsuitable materials for sensory and craft activities (e.g. lentils in trays for children to play with, egg boxes, empty chocolate boxes etc.)
• we were not warned about cooking activities in advance
• on one occasion, DS was completely excluded from a cooking activity that ALL the other children were taking part in (we were sent to a separate room on our own)
• on another occasion, DS was invited by a member of staff to join in a cooking activity which involved pouring and mixing milk in jugs (he is contact-allergic to dairy!!) and if I had not prevented him he would certainly have taken part and would have certainly had a very nasty reaction...

After four sessions, I reluctantly withdrew DS because I didn't feel safe leaving him there. I know this was wimping out, but I felt that the staff were just never going to really understand how to keep him safe.

However, DS really misses pre-school and keeps talking about going back. Inspired by a few threads on here recently, I have decided that this is an inclusion issue and that the staff really must do better at including him and keeping him safe.

I have told them I would like to put his name back on the waiting list, but I am still really very scared about sending him.

I will make a poster with his picture on for the staff to display in their kitchen and staffroom. I will also type up a list of the safety measures we agree (e.g. DS sitting next to a member of staff at snack time with an empty space the other side of him, other children having their hands wiped) and make sure this is displayed too.

Does anybody have any other really good practical ideas about how I can make sure DS can attend pre-school safely?

Did you attend all of his sessions with him?

I think the poster should have been something THEY dd right away...also they need a notice by the sink....reminding them to be extra-thorough about hand washing when they have been cooking or handlng risky foods.

It must be very hard for them about the empy boxes and cartons....can you perhaps offer to keep them supplied with safe boxes, tubs and cartons? You could harangue neighbours, relatives and friends for their safe ones?

this will have the added bonus of them being pleased with the contributions....if they used lentils for crafts can they use small pasta instead? Or is that a no no? How about rice?

Yes, I attended all the 'settling-in' sessions with him. I withdrew him when I realised I didn't feel even remotely able to leave him there on his own.

I'd be very happy to provide them with safe boxes - and there is also a local resource centre which provides factory rejects which have never been used, so getting hold of this stuff really should not be a problem for them.

Pasta and rice would be fine for DS, and I would happily have told them that if they had asked! (the lentils were already all over the room from the morning session when we arrived - DS is unlikely to react to dried lentils on skin contact but I still think using lentils was a bit thoughtless, especially as there was also a water tray in the room and I am pretty sure he would get hives from wet lentils)

I would say maybe look for a different nursery. Some nurseries will get it straight away, others won't. However much training you give, they just won't get it. Others will - they might get it wrong initially but they'll be more switched on. You were there so you know, but it sounds as if you might have been somewhere where they'll never get it. However wrong that is (and it is, it doesn't take much to successfully include) you might just be better going somewhere more switched on.

Do you have someone local you can ask for a recommendation?

Hello Greenbananas

We've had a few problems with DD's nursery recently and I was really going to pull her out but she has gone back this week because the nursery have apologised and have said that they'll work more closely with me on things. Part of me thinks they should have been doing this all along but I guess I have to move forward for DD's sake. She'll be starting full time school in September and I couldn't imagine going through the whole process of finding another nursery and going through the same things with them for just a few months. Also, as the nursery have accepted they have made a mistake I feel that they are taking this more seriously so fingers crossed they'll be more careful.

In your shoes, after just a few visits, I'd probably have felt the same as you and would have removed my DD. I think if your gut instinct is telling you it's not right, then you should go with that. When I first started DD at her nursery, I did get the feeling that they were willing to make changes and it was the first place where I'd felt that. As the nursery is part of an infants school, I feel that as there is a Head and Governors in place, there are routes for escalating problems.

I found with my DD's nursery that once she started I found myself sounding like a stuck record and was constantly checking things. DD is only at her nursery for the afternoon sessions so lunch hasn't been a factor, but at snack time they would give the kids biscuits and toast and other crumbly foods. DD has alot of allergies including anaphylactic to wheat, and I couldn't believe that they thought the kids eating biscuits didn't cause crumbs. DD is contact allergic to foods, and crumbs are the worst as they are everywhere. In the end after a few meetings and me getting very upset after DD had very red eyes and puffy cornea, they agreed that they would only have frubes, cheese strings, fruit veg and water for snacks.

So, I guess, wherever you DS ends up, just tell them everything over and over, and check everything over and over. DD has a careplan which lists everything including an egg allergy and they still allowed her to handle egg.

Personally, I think I am out of my depth with having to deal with the nursery as I don't really understand what it means that they are inclusive. We've had pretty much the same issues as you apart from the milk one. When DD started I attended for the first 3 days so I could see what went on. But I really think I should have had some help from a professional on this. I only know DD's allergies because of what I have experienced with her and also from what we know from testing. I live in fear and do whatever I can to keep her safe. Having someone more 'objective' would have probably done both me and the nursery the world of good as it would have possibly made things more clear.

So, I think the first thing you need to do is get some back up. Possibly from your DS's allergy nurse? Also, call the local council's Family Information Service and tell them what's happened with the nursery he was at and explain why you felt the need to withdraw him. Also, make sure you mention that you felt he wasn't included always. They seem to get more interested in this.
I contacted mine after I'd seen so many nurseries and just wasn't getting a good feeling about any. They were really concerned. In the end they didn;t do much because they thought DD's HV should be taking the lead, She didn't think so. So I forgot about her and carried on myself. They also may be able to tell you if there are any other nurseries that already manage children with food allergies, so it might be worth it just from that perspective.

Sorry for my long reply. I hope this helps a little and I hope you find somewhere that your DS can go where you feel they are looking after him in the way he deserves to be.

Take Care and Good Luck.

Thank you for your replies. Yes, the issue is really whether the staff are open to making changes.

mumat39 (bless you for your long reply ) it was your thread that got me thinking about all this again. I'm so glad that your DD is attending pre-school again and that you feel a bit happier about sending her. It does sound like they have made some effort, and I hope their mistake will have shaken them up a bit so that they remember to take the proper precautions!

On your thread, I think it was eragon that pointed out failing to deal appropriately with allergies is an inclusion issue - and that made me consider that I had just wimped out by totally withdrawing DS, and perhaps even colluded in excluding him from taking part in normal life with his friends.

The pre-school is attached to our local infant school and is a 30 second walk from our house (and the nearest alternative school/pre-school is a 20 minute walk away). However, I do worry that the staff at this particular pre-school are never going to get it, and that they are not really open to making any adjustments to include DS. I think they need to have protocols for keeping him safe, and that they need to think about him when they are doing their planning.

I think the incident that concerns me most is the Angel Delight 'cooking' experience... DS's key worker said to me (casually), 'oh, by the way, they're making Angel Delight in the next room, but don't worry there's a member of staff in charge'. I could see DS wandering through in that direction, so I sprinted after him just in time to see the member of staff in question welcoming him to the table (this was a 'free-flow' activity that all children could take part in if they wanted to). DS was just about to pick up a shiny milk bottle top with globules of milk still on it. There were pools of milk all over the table. Children were wandering away from the table with Angel Delight all over their hands. The member of staff in charge of the activity clearly had no idea that there was a milk-allergic child in the room!! and this is all the more worrying because I had spoken to her about it myself the previous week.

Is it unreasonable of me to think that is was unnecessary to choose Angel Delight as a free-flow activity? Obviously I don't want other children to 'miss out' but I would have been more than happy to talk with staff about appropriate alternatives.

I have asked DS's allergy consultant to call the pre-school... but I still just don't know what to do!!

I got wristbands from mediband saying what my dd's allergies are. She sleeps, showers, swims anD everything in them.

hello again.
Is the infant school the one where you'll be sending your ds? the fact that it's so close means you could get there straight away if there was a problem. So if he is likely to end up here, maybe it is worth perservering with them so they are more aware of this when DS starts at the school. Do they have a Senco? If not, speak with the Head. Also, I wonder if the allergist or his nurse would be willing to visit the school. In terms of protocols the allergist should be able to help with these. Or I'm sure Allergy UK, the anaphylaxis campaign or Blossom have them on their websites.

It really is hard but hopefully you'll get some backup from the allergy team which should make the school take it more seriously.

Good Luck with whatever you decide. Sometimes it's just a huge leap of faith even if you're still not convinced.

this is my shortest post ever

yes, the preschool is 'attached' to the infant school that DS is likely to go to.

I picked up a friend's child from the pre-school yesterday, and the teacher in charge made a point of asking me for the phone number of DS's allergy specialist It seems that she is taking the situation seriously, and I think I can trust her to make sure that other staff are also trained... I still worry about other staff forgetting basic things like handwashing, but I am feeling more confident that this is worth pursuing.

Hello Greenbananas

I was thinking of you today and wondered how things are going and whether the school have spoken to your DS's allergy team?

Hi mumat39

Thank you for asking. I think that things are starting to work out much better.

After much thought, I decided I just didn't trust the pre-school and that I would never feel safe sending DS there. I know this is kind of a failure on everybody's part, including mine, but I figure his wellbeing comes first.

However, a few friends recommended a different school/pre-school (about 20 mins walk from my house) and DS will be starting there some time after Easter. It is quite small and has a lovely, 'village-school' atmosphere that I really like, and the attititide of the staff is just soooooo different to that of the staff at the other place. For example, they want to train everybody on the premises to use the epipen (even the admin staff) and they have already made a huge list of things to check with me (ingredients of paint, glue, craft materials etc. - they are really thinking about this!)

At this new place, the staff are clearly very worried about taking on such a huge responsibility. I feel for them - but I also think their concern is natural and a healthy way of looking at things. They are making very detailed and practical plans about how to keep DS safe, and I have also heard them talking about how to prevent him from feeling stigmatised by his allergies

Again, thank you so much for asking
How are things going with your DD's nursery???

That's great news greenbananas sounds like you've found somewhere that really wants to get it right and hopefully this will allow you to feel safe when handing over your little one into their care.

Oh Wow! That's great news Greenbananas. I'm glad I asked. I always worry that I might come across a tad nosey

Really that is brilliant and well done for sticking to your instincts. It just goes to show that nurseries/schools etc. can cope with allergic children but only if they are willing to do so.

My DD is doing wekk thanks. The nursery are actually much better. They are talking to me about the plans for the week and baking in advance of them happening and are actually double checking things with me, which is great. DD is happy there and even joined in the easter egg hunt because they had little plastic eggs that had to be found. She came out so pleased as she'd found the most eggs. It's not perfect but I feel happy that they're taking it more seriously but also a bit sad that they didn't in the first place.

I'm so happy that you've found somewhere that you're happy with. It must be such a huge relief!

Take care and big hugs to you and your DS. xxx