Ds was invited to a party...

[bobbybobbobbingalong]

Finally ds had an invitation to a birthday party. He had a fabulous time, politely refused all food, thanked the host for having him, made some friends (not quite 3, so the first time I've seen it happen).

When the cake got cut, all the kids got to grab the sweeties off it, but ds got a slice of bread instead and was delighted.

And unrelated to allergies, but also super - he went on someone else's toilet!

See it's not hard to invite an allergic child.

Sounds as if you both had a great time! Wonderful.

I wouldn't think twice about inviting a child with allergies, as their mum's usually send their own food anyway and their epi-pen!

Have you had problems with this then?

He's usually missed off the invite list as people think that it will be mean for him to not to take part fully (ie eat loads of E numbers until he vomits).

The host did ban balloons but other than that they carried on as normal. Ds had his snack box and was very content.

That's a lovely story. Did you have a hard time teaching him to refuse food except what you give him? He sounds such a sensible little boy.

No a few trips to A&E and he just decided all by himself. He can literally smell food that is a bad idea. He has a green and a red snack box (tupperware one in 4 sections), he chooses which colour we fill. For parties he gets treats like white marshmallows or choc buttons in there.

I can't believe people exclude a child from invites because of allergies. I'm more than happy to cater for them (dairy free seems easier than gluten free!!) although if the parent wants to supply their own food, fine obviously! It's not difficult!!

I do think I'd be nervous about an anaphylactic child but that's no reason not to invite them is it?

I obviously hang out with the wrong people!

However I have noticed that mumsnetters are very colour and preservative free people anyway, and so less likely to think that a child that can't eat a lurid colour ice cream is deprived in some way.

I would invite an allergic child, but I would be far happier if their parent stayed, as I don't know how to use an epipen etc

One of my bf has anaphylactic child and she just sends along food for her to parties. She does tend to stay - just in case but she now has an epi-pen....

I suppose I ahve had epi-pen training so at least I would know what to do. Once had a child allergic to wasp stings in the middle of a forest. He had at least 6 wasps crawling over his hands and arms. My hand was gripping his epi-pen in my pocket!!! Luckily they all flew off but he was very brave!!!

I made a dairy free pirate ship cake complete with lurid blue icing once though - does that make me less wholesome?

No good for a colouring allergic child, obviously

You still sound lovely.

I have nothing against lurid icing once a year for a birthday cake. it's just ds will have to stick to chocolate icing (no great shame there).

I think it makes a difference how exposed to allergies you've been. A friend's DD was allergic to dairy (slowly grew out of it) so the concept isn't alien to me. I was broken in gently!

we've found people are more reluctant to invite the allergic one, even if I send food along. Some people obviously feel it reflects badly on them if they don't cater for her but they just don't want the bother. It isn't actually that difficult, they get used to not having things other kids are eating. Of course if you invite an asthamtic kid they are actually more at risk, especially if their mums forget their inhaler, but no-one thinks twice about that.

It's also quite easy to use an epipen, you can show someone in 5 minutes/ talk them through it on the phone if necessary. Now she's older and could use an epipen herself I don't always tell people until she is at the party.

My best friends daughter has celiacs and I have never thought twice about inviting them to parties. We just do a seperate section of food on different coloured plates so she knows what she can eat, gluten free cakes and rolls. My mil has it too so we are pretty comfortable catering for her allergies. Last year we picked up a happy meal box from macdonalds and put some gluten free stuff in it, so then she felt very special having a special container for her food.

oh you all sound great.

My little ds has been missed out of a few parties at nursery.He has a tree nut and egg allergy.He's too young to understand he's been missed out ,but it does bother me.

I would definately stay with him,for how many years I don't know.he's asthmatic aswell.

Bobbin-it's lovely when they are included and everything goes well

The toddler who wasn't properly supervised and ended up face down in the paddling pool, out in the middle of the road etc. possibly won't be asked back!