Babies/toddlers with ana milk allergy and playing with other kids toys.

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How paranoid do I have to be, exactly?

Ds is anaphylactic to cows milk (its not his only allergy but his most serious so far). My friends baby, same age, same allergies but milder went to someones house and the baby had a reaction after lifting the table cloth to her mouth for a chew. There was obviously a few spots of milk on there.

Ds recently had a reaction to my drinking tea with milk in and kissing him after.

I clearly remember my eldest as a baby-toddler and yoghurt being on various toys, walls tables tv

When we go to friends houses do I let him play (and chew, hes 9 months everything goes straight to his mouth) with the other childs toys or not?

Im an over worrier, so I really need some calm perspective. But I just remember how food gets spread from my first. Butter fingers etc!

WDYD?

I think in its raw form, say uneaten food, would cause a reaction. a contact reaction, that is not from ingestion , would be reasonabley mild and normally antihistamine and washing exposed skin would sort out the problem.
however eating the allergen , would , obviously count as ingestion, so would cause a reaction.

if, food was, say, formula that another infant had vomited , and your child came in contact with it, it would not be 'that' likely to be a problem, mainly because , being in the childs stomach and vomitied/possited it would be digested , via stomach acids and proteins changed.

understand how you feel, in the company of other children, and well meaning, but rather stupid adults at this young age is a concern. in fact , can clearly remember my hyper alert mothering was exhausting, but did stop many a reaction from happening.
This time will pass as your baby grows up. (hugs)
good luck.

I remember this terrifying stage, when I was constantly checking what DS picked up and touched. We stopped going to childrens centre groups, where there always semed to be smears of yoghurt and margarine on the toys and tables, but found some lovely church toddler groups instead, where snacks were eaten in a seperate room and the staff were really helpful.

I agree with eragon that most reactions caused by touching toys are likely to be minor, just skin reactions which are treated easily with antihistamine. However, it's an additional worry when your baby is still at the chewing toys stage.

DS is 3 now, and I don't worry about this sort of thing very much any more. He knows what he can and can't touch, and he is way past the stage of putting things in his mouth. At the park yesterday, DS's friends were eating biscuits with cow's milk in them and I suddenly realised that I wasn't even slightly concerned! (Having said that, he still doesn't go to pre-school at the children's centre because he kept getting hives etc. from milk and margarine left on tables and transferred to the toys by children with unwashed hands.)

It can be exhausting trying to keep your child safe all the time, and I know I felt a right fool cleaning everything in sight at playgroups, but this stage does pass and things do get easier eventually.

were the childrens centre supportive of your problems? with regard to food and your infant. They do HAVE to be inclusive, and this is a issue they should have some policy and safeguards in place.

Thank you.

My eldest never stopped puttinv things in his mouth, he's 5 now and I tell him at least once a day to take something out his mouth hes terrible.

I dont think the baby is quite as bad, but being a teething baby of course he chews. I think im going to be extra careful until he's over the teething, and chewing.

Ive not entertained the thought of baby or toddler groups, the idea gives me The Fear big time. But I hope by the time hes 2, a bit bigger, sturdier and less 'chewy' I'll be more confident and take him.

I too remember this scary stage well. DS is now 4.5 and still often comes out in hives after touching 'shared' toys eg in hospital waiting rooms or soft play etc but Piriton has always been enough to sort it out. When he was a baby I did take him to friends' houses to play and to baby & toddler groups but I took his own toys and if he did play with other toys I wouldn't let him put them in his mouth. To be honest, I wouldn't have liked him to put other babies' toys in his mouth even if he didn't have life-threatening allergies!

It is scary and you will have to very vigilant over the next few years but you do have to try to manage the fear so that your child doesn't pick up on your anxiety and has the opportunity to lead as normal a childhood as possible (easier said than done I know!). I always carried anti-bac surface wipes in my bag for wiping down toys/high chairs/tables etc to try to avoid reactions. The problem with babies and young children is that they're often covered in food! Sticky hands and faces are a potential risk to your allergic child so you need to gently explain to your friends that it's important to wipe their babies' faces & hands before they play with your child. My DS tells his friends to go wash their hands and face before playing with him if he knows they've just been eating - it is quite funny! You will also need to watch out for well-meaning but completely ignorant adults who will offer your child food without checking with you first. As the others have said, it does get easier I promise.

I know that you asked for a calm perspective but I am afraid I had to say that my son had a serious reaction at playgroup when sucking on a musical instrument from the shared toys box. He ended up in hospital as his Piriton just did not cut it. Now I very rarely go to playgroups. Find one that has a no food policy, or that is happy to move snack to the end of the session so that you can leave before the food/milk comes out If its a music session you could take your own instruments.