Very picky 2yo with allergies, and lunch at nursery - advice please

[eskimomama]

Hello dear all

My 2yo DD (allergic to dairy and eggs) starts nursery next week, and I've just been told I need to provide her lunches - even though they had said they could cater for dairy and egg free food... turns out they can only provide dairy free.

DD is a major picky eater, for the last months weeks she's only eaten in front of her favourite cartoon, and I must admit I surrendered to that method for my nerves sake...

Now she'll have to eat lunch a few times a week at nursery, and her food will look different to the other kids - any advice on that topic? I'm afraid she won't eat anything at all from her plate and picks in other kids plates...

I was thinking to ask for menus a week in advance so I can prepare a meal that kind of looks the same (minus the kiddie format yoghurt pot...).

I know it's not really allergy related but how could I make DD less picky (as in feed herself rather than bl**dy spoon feeding her forever......) to make the transition easier...?
So far I've just believed and accepted that allergic kids often are picky eaters but I don't know what to do now...

any advice welcome... thank you.

my son has always had his own food, its the only way.
hopefully, just sitting down at a table eating with others would encourage your daughter to eat more.

when my son was 2 he was still eating tablespoons of food at a meal times, and that took time to improve.

thanks eragon - did this cause problems at nursery when all the other kids were feeding themselves? what did you do to improve it? I'm not too keen on the harsh method (ie feed yourself or be hungry).

I'm sure it won't make that much difference that her food looks different - other children willl have different food too as there will be a vegetarian option, so might be dairy-free etc. Staff will sit with them and ensure they don't take each other's food.

Try to encourage her to use a knife and fork at home, and when she starts nursery let them know that she needs support with feeding herself. She'll soon pick it up when she sees all the other children doing it.

I have a large family so wasnt able to find any time to spoon feed for long.

didnt have the energy to spoon feed a toddler, breastfeed a baby, and order the older boys to sit down and eat , all at once.

made sure by giving small snacks with lots of fat and sugar ensured that we didnt hit the too-hungry-to-eat stage. iyswim

soon learned not to expect him to eat large amounts. stress does play its part in a allergic childs life, and he had to have extra supplements , and iron after a big dip in general health,when he caught flu and lost weight etc.

even now as a lanky teen , stress halts everything and food intake drops dramtically for quite some time, however once feeling better, he eats a wide range of food, but the 1950's style of food, =meat and two veg, is his favourite.

Good luck with the nursery. It's probably a good idea to provide all the food if the nursery are not sure they can do it properly.

At home, I often give DS his meals in front of Mickey Mouse. I know this is usually seen as 'bad parenting', but I don't feel guilty because it works!! I have tried hard not to make food a stressful experience for him, and it seems to be working so far.

I agree that your DD is more likely to eat well when there are other children around her. Certainly this is the case with my DS; he is perfectly happy to sit quietly at a table eating with other children, and doesn't mind at all that his food looks different (he is used to it!) Other children (especially slightly older children) are a great example, and I think they also provide the entertainment that he needs to eat without thinking too hard about it.

Don't know if allergic kids are generally 'picky eaters', but I do know that a friend's non-allergic 2 year old DD is just the same with food... hopefully they will all get better at eating 'properly' at some point as they grow older!

thanks.

greenbananas so I am not the only cartoon feeding bad parent around ;)
Ours is peppa pig... I started using it when she was really picky and we had a stressful time with moving overseas/changing jobs etc but it became a habit and now she totally refuses to eat without it. I didn't have the energy to fight back when I could...
Right now it is becoming embarrassing when we eat out or have guests staying over!!

It's great to hear your DS doesn't mind the different food - may I ask what desserts he's having at nursery? DD usually doesn't have dessert, but if everybody is eating a yoghurt I know she might want to try and make a fuss...

We didn't start with lunches at school etc till DS1 was 3.5 so I'm no expert for 2yo, but at least at the beginning I would try to give her her favourite meals so that she might even prefer the look of them to what the other kids are having.

Can she have soy yoghurt? DS1 has always had these as his dessert and loves them (especially the chocolate ones and definitely not the ones with bits of fruit in (!), only the smooth ones).

Good luck! but I'm sure she'll do better with it than you expect...

Quick dessert suggestion - Innocent pure fruit tubes. They look just like Frubes (the kids' yoghurts tubes) but contain only fruit puree and DS loves them. Alpro soya yoghurts are also great if your DD can eat soya. I'm very grateful that DS is not a picky eater because his diet is limited anyway it would be nightmare if he was picky too. However, he has always been a slow eater and never a big eater although he is much better now than when he was little. He's 4 and half now and eats pretty well most of the time but he was similar to your DD when he was younger, too lazy to feed himself most of the time. It's true what the others say about the positive influence of eating with other children, it really does seem to encourage them to do it themselves.

thanks weta and freefrommum. I live in France so I won't be able to find the Innocent fruit tubes.
She loves the soy chocolate yoghurts but that would put her on high sugar jumping mode (just before bap time...) and most of all she will just eat that. Btw she feeds herself pretty decently with a chocolate soya yoghurt....

I spoke with the nursery cook this morning and he insisted with their catering company that they provide dairy and egg free meals just for DD, although he said they might just replace the things like cheese pastry or quiche by boring raw or steamed veg... no need to say I can already see the veg being thrown on the floor...

nap not bap time

Sorry, didn't realise you lived in France eskimomama. Can you get fresh fruity soya yoghurts in the supermarket chiller section? I know they do them in Spain but can't remember the brand name. I'm pretty sure they have less sugar in them than the chocolate ones plus they usually have added calcium. Another idea is the Fruta Pura fruit pots. I know they're from the baby section but they look like yoghurt pots and a good way to get pure fruit into picky little ones. They do those in Spain so assuming they do in France too?

Yes it's a good idea. Soya yoghurts here aren't that great (to my taste at least), I think the little fruit pots are the safest bet. Thanks!