carers of allergic children,how do you prepare them?

[polly28]

I'm talking about friends and relations that have offered to take care of ds.

He is 3 and is allergic to nuts and eggs,we have epipens.

I have a dvd from the anaphylaxis campaign about how to administer epipen etc.

Do you think it's over the top to get people to watch this before caring for ds.Is it better if I just go over it myself.

So far ds has never been left at anyone's house except a close friend who just gives him food i've left for him.

Ds is not reliable yet to know not to take something without asking,but then again he's never really been tested.

How do other people deal with this?

Ds wears a Medic Alert wrist band and always shows a new person and recites his allergies.

Next year when he is a big 3 year old his bag will have a notice attached to the zip warning about his allergies.

His lunchbox will also list his allergies and reming people not to swap or trade food.

We will tell him what the "words say" and he will then memorise the words and tell people about those too.

Ds is amazing and will not take cake from a pile on the table - he only eats what is in a snack box with his name on it, or food that myself or dh hand to him. He just went to his nursery party and ignored two heaving plates of egg, nut, banana, additive laden food and just came and asked for his snack box.

He just isn't rebellious in this area. Thank goodness.

do you leave him with other people other than at his nursery,ie freinds neighbours and how have you taught them to react to a reaction.

I have left him with my parents, MIL and 2 good friends. In an emergency they call 111 first and me second. It's never happened though - he waits until he gets home to have reactions.

I won't leave him at Playcentre (and in fact we are not going any more because of this) because they have a rolling morning tea, and whilst ds is good, I'm not sure he can cope with 25 hours a term of banned food being openly eaten.

I never drink when out anymore though in case I need to get to the hospital in a hurry.

did you teach your parents,mil and friends how to recognize a reaction and how to administer the epipen?

calling an ambulance wouldn't be enough

I think you should show them the epipen trainer and get them to show you they would give it.

Tell them it's okay to give it when he doesn't need it, but not okay to wait if they are not sure.

My relatives would not be in any doubt about when Bob was having a reaction, the red eyeballs and lying on the floor give it away.

For years I would take the practice epipen, show them on myself how to use it then make them hold it against their own leg and press. You need to do this to be sure they have taken in what you have told them. I sometimes forget myself to take off the cap. It also tells you whether they are one of the people who are so averse to needles they couldn't do it. The epipen bag has a card with instructions - basically give pen then phone ambulance then me (home and mobile). They are told if in doubt inject - better a slightly distressed child than a dead one. Remind them that it will go through clothing but reassure them its not a very big needle. Still remember the nurse telling me about it in such terms I thought it must be a couple of inches long. Stress that it could save their life as time is limited.

If there is anyone who cares for your child regularly and you have an out of date epipen let them have a go with it. It has much more of a kick than the trainer and it doesn't require as much pressure.

Start training your child now because it is very hard for them to resist chocolate and ice-cream. Its also worth mentioning these specifically to carers. If you don't have a nut allergic child you tend not to think of them as problems.

I would show relatives the video but not friends, its too offputting.

polly - I would ask them to watch the dvd.

I go through the 'box' with the carer. I am lucky- most of dd's mum's friends have been trained through their own work ( alot of teacher's/nurses kids at dd's school). ALso the the school and I wrote to the parents about allergies and the head puts reminders on every newsletter. She also wears a medic alert bracelet.

Even from the age of 18 months dd would not eat food unless it was 'approved' by mum- I am sure it is because she could associate funny feelings in her mouth with becoming quite poorly.

I am extremely proud of her and her year 3 teacher and head have both complemented her and me during this last week on how she deals with it all!

I do symapthise though as it is really nerve wracking finding trustworthy people- there are still friends that I will not trust dd with at their houses- we find excuses and meet them in the park or at the wonderful cafe round the corner from school etc.

I provide all the food DS (3) needs while at his childminders 3 days a week.

I write a letter that details all the allergies and what to do etc etc and also keep a copy of that in his medicine bag (contains antihistamine and inhaler) that he has with him all the time.
People can find it easier to have it written down exactly what to do in case of an emergency.

I do also prvide a list of food he can eat when they are out and about in case she needs to buy him something.

DS also - like Chandra's - is very careful about taking any food from any one else. In fact he never does it - never wants to.

Also went to three xmas parties last week and never asked for cakes/the other food - happy to eat his own. He always asks if something has cows milk in it when it is new to him.

I think they soon learn that it feels really terrible to eat something they are allergic too and so learn to be careful - even from a really early age. DS had a vbad experience with cake (my fault) a few months ago and since then has refused any to eat any cake atall.

Thank you for the replies.I agree sometimes the video can scare people off,difficult to know what to do.

Ds seems to understand his allergies,but he has been supervised by us or his playschool and they are extra vigilant with him.

The resounding point I guess is to empower him firstly,then trust others .

I'm finding letting go quite stressful and scary,but we have dealt with the first xmas party this year and he was fine.The nursery put an adult either side of him like bodyguards so of course he was fine.I felt this was abit strong but they are dealing with this for the first time aswell so accepted it.

as they get older you will probably find they do refuse food if in any doubt so your focus changes to ensuring that they can actually get something to eat. Agree it's a good idea to actually provide a list of "suitable " foods.

Daughter went to her first party where I didn't phone the parents this week - I'm trying to train her to do it. So she got a bag of crisps to eat as she didn't like the pizzas (which should have been OK). There is always a safe snack in her bag.