Which milk to use in cooking for my complex, 'intolerant' family and any recipe ideas as I'm bored of the same few meals?

[bethylou]

DH is dairy-free, gluten-free and recently soya-free. (And just to complete the picure can't tolerate onion, chives, bananas, potato unless it's really well cooked). Annoyingly, he doesn't like nuts or fish, though I have presuaded him that salmon and cod are not the work of the devil in desperation in recent weeks!!)

DS1 (aged 3) is dairy-free and gluten-free and can't eat too many raw veg without them upsetting his tummy. DS2 can currently eat anything that a 16 month old can generally eat. I can't eat chilli.

I have been told by DS1's dietician that DS1 needs stodgy puddings daily, as he needs to gain some weight, so I was making them with soya milk, but now DH can not tolerate it we are a bit stuck. He has moved onto rice milk, but I know that it's not good for children. Can anyone help? DS1 doesn't drink milk as a drink anymore (as it has too many reminders of the days when drinking cows' milk gave him really bad tummy ache) so it is really about what I can put in sauces and cakes/puddings.

I'm so bored of meat, potatoes and veg and would be glad of any other ideas if you've got this far!

In addition, could I just ask whether you would expect DH to be under a consultant with such a limited diet? I want it to be investigated really but he is reticent. GP is happy to refer if DH wishes.

Thanks for reading - I've even bored myself with our ridiculously complex dietary requirements. As you can imagine, we don't eat out and we certainly don't get invited out to eat at friends' houses, even tough we'd happily take whatever is needed!!

Bloody hell, that's a bit hard for you.

How gluten free are they, is oat milk ok for them. That's what we use in cooking as it's much less sweet than soya or rice milk.

How are they with eggs and nuts? I've got a few good gluten free stodgy pudding recipes but they rely on either eggs or nuts.

Google Gordon ramsay's Malaysian curry, that's what I made last time my SIL who has a very limited diet, was round.

Phew, that sounds like a nightmare! You poor thing.... Have you discovered the wonderful world of risotto yet? That might help in varying the meals.

Have you tried the Kara pressed coconut milk? We've tried all the milk variants and this is the only one dd will have! Waitrose sell it and most health food shops.

How about sheeps milk? I can buy it frozen from my local farm shop and I made yorkshire puddings with it, it was fine.

And how about other grains instead of wheat, such as rice, millet, quinoa, buckwheat? And sweet potatoes are lovely, so much more nutritious than the boring old white potato, and you can bake it, roast it or grill it.
And legumes and lentils are great sources of protein.

Eeek, i don't envy you! Rice or coconut milk. How about quinoa, veg curries and, um, will think

you may have passed this point already, but goats milk is often tolerated when cows is not.

Thanks. Oat milk we suspect may be a problem as DH can't tolerate normal oats in cereal. Haven't tried it yet though. If something tastes 'nutty' DH won't eat it but they can both have eggs.

As for risotto, we tried one but it seemed to take forever to cook which is a bit of an issue when I work three days a week and have to have (homemade, everything-free) tea on the table within about 40 minutes of getting in. Did I do something wrong, as the recipe didn't suggest it would take that long to cook?

Coconut milk does look like the next thing to try.

Thanks for the sympathy. It hasn't really annoyed me 'til now as we've been too worried about DS1 (as the problems were making him very anaemic and horribly skinny) Think we've finally got him on the straight (and not quite so narrow!) a year after it all began and now have time and energy to get annoyed! A step in the right direction I guess..

You can do risotto in 40 mins, easily especially if you prep veg beforehand.

I would give oatly a try. aFAIK it is very low in gluten, the purity levels ate quite high, my SIL is gluten free but can tolerate oatly. As long as we are not talking fatal reactions here.

Sorry if this sounds a bit rude, but are most of the things you have listed down to your DH being fussy rather than an actual allergy/intolerance? Sorry if that's not the case, but that's the impression I'm getting from your posts.

This may sound a bit unsympathetic too, but I think I'd be inclined to make whatever stodgy puddings/cakes DS1 needs, with whatever milk he can have, and just let DH sort out his own puddings/cakes.

I was going to come back and say that too Weta. The most important thing here is to get weight on your DS.

Dh does have proper 'ending up very poorly in bed or in the bathroom' intolerance to gluten, dairy and soya but my cooking problems are definitely compounded by him disliking fish and nuts, hence insisting he eats some fish . He's losing weight too-stone and a half in 5 months without trying or needing to and his mum is now worrying about him-so both need stodge really. He is at least making his own bread now so I don't do that.

bethylou - is your DH intolerant to milk protein or just the lactose in milk?

The reason I ask is because I am gluten and lactose intolerant but eat a wide range of dishes I make myself and am not restricted the way you seem to be.

If DH is just lactose intolerant then Lactofree milk is great. It is proper milk but with no lactose. Other than that I do buy gluten free flour and bake cakes and deserts with that. That should help put weight on people. I use gluten free pasta from Sainsbury too and I use Free margarine that has no dairy in. For cream I use soya cream but you could try and get Lactofree cream.

I cook with completely normal recipes other than that. DW does not eat fish so we are similarly restricted as she eats exactly what I do. Lots of meat protein and vegetables will do no one any harm. Try using beans in dishes too to put more protein in.

I would also add that your DH's gut may have become very permeable with the damage from his coeliac (gluten intolerance) condition which is why he is becoming intolerant to a lot of things. It is known to cause gut permeability which leads to common lactose intolerance and potentially other intolerances. I too am fairly Intolerant to lactose and some foods like tomato so I really think he needs to go and figure out what is going on that is causing so many intolerances. He needs a lot of dietary advice.

I also hink your son has inherited his gluten intolerance from his Dad and may need a similar assessment.

Your DH needs to also take more of the burden of cooking off you. Not just baking bread. He needs to start searching the internet for recipes and get some gluten free cookery books.

Hi Beth I think we've chatted before with similar issues although DH isn't gluten free. He and DD1 are Dairy free, DD1 also seems to react to soya and dd2 has a high fat (as much as we can humanly get in) diet. DH also doesn't like fish much and I am a (slightly lasped) vegetarian.

With regard to the sodgy puddings it's not really stodgy that you need but fat...

Can you look at increasing fat level elsewhere in both their diets. For DD2 we were recomended to ad extra butter (not really possible here) or oil, and look at avocado and other fatty things.

Could you look at biscuits you could make and cakes for snacks between meals?

A spanish style omelete (we make it in 2 pans one with soya milk in the omelette and one with oat milk for dd1) but you could just make it with rice milk as you only really need a small dash.

You could omit the onion (does he tolerate garlic?) cook the potatoes off first then add them to the frying pan with mushroom and whatever veg you want, maybe some peppers add the omelette mixture with a bit of parsley etc to taste, cook it on the hob till it is browning underneath then stick under the grill to do the top (we normally add some goats cheese over the top of ours for extra flavour). As non of you are vegi you could add bacon or something similar increase the fat content for your dh/ds...

Alternatively what about a meat and potato pie with gluten free flour pastry? more fat for dh/ds.

I may be barking completely up the wrong tree, not so good with gluten free. but can you get gluten free pasta now.. if it's expensive could you do one saucepan for you and ds2 and one for dh/ds1 with the same sauce over the top.

I feel your pain, we're taking dd1 tomorrow for a blood test so maybe we might have a few more answers soon...

Oh and for weight gain cocktail sausages as snacks are ideal to have in the fridge for weight gain, with houmous as a sandwich filling aswell.

Thanks for those ideas MB and Doris. I am really on top of the cakes and biscuits thing now with the gluten free four and dairy free marg. It was just the rice milk problem that has thrown that a bit. I like the omelette plan and will try it out. unfortunately, i's definitely CMP for DH and DS1 as we've ried lactofree stuff and still had a lot of problems. DH has just come acorss the gut porosity thing and I want him to go and sicuss with the GP and get referred. DS1 is under a paediatrician and dietician but dietician is not prepared to discuss DH's needs in relation to DS1's(which is hard, although I can see why).

Doris hope the blood test is okay and the results are whatever you hope they will be. We have to test DS1 on gluten once we've stabilised his weight and then be retested for Coeliac disease. DH has tested neagtive twice though and DS1 once! This time they will do biopsy anyway for DS1 apparently.

I have told DH that if he's not prepared to see the GP for referral then he will have to do the cooking until he will go. I don't think it will take long!!!

Thanks again.

p.s. the cocktail sausages we've found so far have gluten in, though we could chop up the big gluten-free sausages. If anyone knows of gluten free cocktail sausages, please let me know!

Marks and Spencers do gf cocktail sausages, theres the Great Little Sausage company ones, Black Farmers daughter chipolatas (just twist them a few times in the middle), or you can order a job lot of sausages from Sallys

Kara is good, and you can get it at Tesco, but have you tried almond milk? It's great in puddings and cereals.

bethlou - I have been tested for coeliac with blood test and biopsy and both negative. I came off gluten and lactose anyway and it made a dramatic difference. Some coeliacs just don't test positive. Also there is a condition called Non Coeliac Gluten Intolerance that has coeliac symptoms but tests negative. Treatment is the same as for coeliac though (ie no gluten in the diet).

Also there is an enzyme that your DH/DS could occassionally take Glutenzyme that would allow you all to eat the odd restaurant meal out.

Your DH does appear to have an extremely permeable gut and that has caused me problems for a long time including another autoimmune condition in my bladder called interstitial cystitis. Living with coeliac for a long time without proper diagnosis an treatment can cause severe health problems.

Tell your DH from me to go to a GP and get to a specialist. He could be making himself very ill indeed over the long term.

Thanks again. Will look into all this more. Am taking a firmer line with DH (threatened cooking strike) and he has now booked a GP appointment.