CMP allergy - what do you do about playgroups/sharing of toys?

[papillonrouge]

DS has cows milk protein allergy. On skin contact he very quickly comes up in hives and eczema worsens. He has never ingested any thank god, but the time he came closest he vomitted immediately anyway.

We were at a baby group today when I stupidly allowed him to play with another baby's soft toy which he sucked on for a couple of minutes after which the area around his mouth became very red and covered in hives. I monitered him and after about 40 minutes all his ezcema on his chest flared up and he became really unsettled - can only assume he had ingested a tiny amount. The other baby is on formula so assume all this caused by her saliva on the toy which must have had traces of cows milk in it.

Am now totally paranoid about playgroups, nursery, having other babies round to ours, indeed anything which will mean DS using other toys or another baby using his. Don't want to be obsessive mother but really don't want him to have further reactions. How do others handle this?

hmm, I'm a bit of an over - protective mum anyway as my DD has an underlying health condition as well as an allergy to CMP but I have to say that when she was still at the putting everything in her mouth stage, I watched her like a hawk and never let her put anything into her mouth that belonged to anyone else.

Gained me some odd looks from other mums at times but that was just how it had to be.

I used to take her own biscuits etc into playgroups and made sure she didn't try and grab anything from the biscuit tin as it was being passed around.

She's nearly 4 now and understands that she is allergic to 'cows milk' and that it will give her hives and make her poorly if she even touches something containing CMP and always checks that things are safe to eat.

Unfortunately if your child has an allergy then you do have to be more protective of them. After all it is our poor DCs who get ill and us as parents that go through all the worry of whether they will end up in hospital

Ugh...thanks mintyneb. It's such a shame - I don't want to make him feel he is different or make my friends paranoid when they are here but as you say, probably the way it has to be.

Anyone out there just let them get on with playing as they want to with the knowledge that piriton will probably sort the problem out if anything happens? Or is this a really irresponsible approach to take? (And I'm obviously not going to let him put a cheese stick in his mouth to see what happens, but would be nice not to have to police all toys etc.)

papillon, how sad that you are going through this. There's a vast difference between 'paranoid' and 'careful'. I think that's great advice from mintyneb about taking your own treats to groups.

At first, it's hard to have to check everything, and I understand your concerns about being seen as an obsessive mother, but it soon becomes a way of life and safety-checking has become almost second nature to me now. Every time DS and I go to a children's centre. I quietly wipe down the tables which have smears of yoghurt on them... and my friends have got very good at helping me spot danger (I am very lucky with this!)

I dn't think that trusting to Piriton is a great approach, no matter how tempting that may seem. You and your DS deserve to have proper support.

I have stopped going to baby and toddler groups which make me nervous (e.g. food on toys and no proper clearing up after snack time) but have found some lovely groups where everybody knows, understands, and doesn't make a fuss so that my DS doesn't have to feel completely 'different' when he is still so young.

All our allergic children are going to have to face their food issues eventually (if they don't grow out of them!) but I think it's great to be able to keep them safe until they are old enough to truly understand.. and they do understand their allergies surprisingly young

Thanks babybarrister and greenbananas - I am getting my head around it now and it's AMAZING how supportive friends are - the ones who are still bf deliberately don't give their kids yoghurt/cheese on the days we get together. It's bizarre this allergy business - I sometimes forget it's even an issue as we go through each day then when something happens it brings back all the fear and frustration. However, sure this is something you are all very used to!

papillon, when friends are supportive it IS amazing and gives you a warm feeling inside!

But unfortunately, friends can also easily forget about allergies too and I've lost count of the times of going to tea with ante natal friends (who've known about DDs allergy since she was 6 months old, she's now nearly 4) and proudly produced a home made cake or supermarket treat and then said 'I'm sorry its got cows milk in it' so all the other children tuck in whilst DD can't.

Thing is I take something along with me that I know she loves and I usually end up with the other kids asking for some too!

the best friends are those that put on a complete dairy free spread - including cake - for their own DC's birthdays just so your little one doesn't feel left out. They're friends worth keeping :)

you sound a bit more relaxed about the whole thing so hopefully you can carry on enjoying life with a little one!