Feel like useless Mum who couldn't use epipen

[EvaAnna]

DD2 4 yo is allergic to nuts, sesame seed and chick peas.

We were in a cafe on Friday eating soup (which didn't contain any of the above).. After one mouthful, mothers instinct told me something was wrong - she went very quiet and couldn't/woudn't speak to me, then started to gag like she was going to be sick.. I picked her up and ran to toilet - she was holding her throat, but couldn't be sick. I was very very frightened and it all happened so quickly... her lips started to swell, so the cafe called 999 who said we needed to use epipen immediately. Thing is I was shaking and crying so much I found it very difficult to do... and now I can't stop thinking about it and feel like such a failure. I know if I had been on my own I would have done it, but I just didn't realise how hard it was going to be. There was a trained first aider who done it for me, and I will be forever grateful to her. Even she was shaking and crying.. Just want to advice how important it is to practice with out of date pens etc, as I hadn't done this and I am sure it would have helped. I will be more prepared the next time. DD is fine now and rather pleased with her trip in the ambulance!

On another note, the ingredients in the soup were:
Ham
Potato
Carrot
Barley
Onion
Split red lentils
Salt and pepper

Anyone any idea what could have caused the reaction????????????

We are going back to the allergy specialist early Jan, but in the meantime will avoid all of the above...

Sorry for the long post, just need to get it all out of my system. It was very frightening.

Barley, Lentils and pepper can all cause allergic reactions.
Don't beat yourself up we all freeze at times when faced with a real emergency.
You need to think of an action plan for next time! Maybe even ask for another training secession!
Glad she's fine

Ham can contain milk which can cause a reaction.

Thanks, she isn't allergic to milk tho, she has it all the time!!

Poor you, it must have been very frightening. Don't beat yourself up. You would have been able to do it if the first aider wasn't there.

I've not had to use my epipen yet but I was quite surprised when I practised on an orange quite how much force I needed to exert.

Practising with out of date pens is good advice.

I wonder if it was the lentils she reacted to as they are legumes as are chickpeas and peanuts.

Hi it's really awful the first time you experience a full blown reaction you never know quite how you'll react, the good news is I bet you never freeze again.
On the subject of what could have caused it, it may also have been the the pans and utensils were contaminated or even the cooks hands.
But still make sure she is tested for all ingredients.

Deux, thanks for that - I've just been researching it online and it would appear that lentils are connected to the chick pea and nut allergy. I am suprised I didn't know this, I should have educated myself a bit more!

Wonka, I am going to ask for more training - I don't think the training pen gives you any idea how it really feels.

I still can't stop thinking how useless I was. Thing is I am normally good in a crisis - when it is someone else's child and not mine. It was the most frightening experience. She has had bad reactions before, but nothing that constricted her breathing, just bad swelling, hives, and vomiting. The thing that worries me is the first thing I noticed was how quiet she went - I worry that, say, at school this would initially be missed.

Allnightlong - thanks I had thought of that too.. We have an appointment with allergy specialist 4th Jan and I'm taking the list of ingredients with me!

Every time I think how useless I was I start to cry, but you are right, I definitely won't freeze again, as I seen how effective the epipen was and she only cried for a short while after it went in.

Don't beat yourself up, it was a shockingly stressful situation and you can't possibly help how you reacted. But now you can maybe do a first aid course aimed at under 8's (St. John Ambulance) which will help you deal with dramas more effectively if there is a next time.

My son lay blue and unconscious on my dining room floor after a fit when he was two years old and I couldn't even speak to the 999 operator... had to hand the phone to someone else while I just sobbed and ran around like a nutter screaming - a month later I did a course (with emphasis on under 8's) and I paid special attention on the "how to get a child breathing again" section. A while later, DS stood in the door way with a blue face and was obviously choking (he'd nicked a grape out of the shopping I was unpacking and sneaked off in the front room and it had got stuck in his throat). After this training I knew immediately what to do and that grape shot across the kitchen like a bullet!

Be kind to yourself today and thank god she's okay then practise with the epipen so next time you don't panic, just deal. Good luck, LOL

Kbear, thanks sooo much for that. It made me laugh and I haven't done that today! I was a bit the same - I kept talking to the operator then putting the phone down then picking it up and giving it to someone else. Then I took the lid off the epipen and put it back on again and put it on the floor. I was behaving really strange and I had no control over it. It was very unlike me.

I will look into that course, as I definitely want to be able to do better next time.

Glad your training helped in the choking situation - that is one of my worst nightmares.

What a terrifying experience for you. So glad your DD2 is okay!

Thanks for posting this - it does us all good to be reminded how important it is to practise.

Don't know if this will help, but some weeks ago I posted a thread about how I had to stab my poor DS three times with the epipen because in my panic I did not take off the safety cap His reaction was not as bad as your DD's - he was swelling and lethargic but still seemed to be breathing okay... I can hardly imagine what you must have been feeling and really don't think anybody can blame you for getting a bit confused. You will get it right if this ever happens again!

Thanks greenbananas. It is a terrifying experience and one you can't imagine. Bless you having to do it 3 times, very brave, I couldn't even manage to do it once . As you say, I will do better next time. I am hoping tho that there isn't a next time... I am now so afraid of her starting school in January, when before I was very relaxed.

The training for the epipen doesn't take into account how bad your hands are shaking when faced with the terrifying ordeal.

Dear EvaAnna,

You did just fine !

Your DD is O.K

Be thankful. Then think if there's anything you can learn from the situation to keep her safe in the future.

I think that's the biological purpose of anxiety, especially parental anxiety and concerns about health.

1. Practice more with epipens.

1. Have several available in different locations.

1. Find out what else she's allergic to. Could it be the lentils ? Or contamination from very small amounts of eg. nuts/ sesame seeds ( With help from hospital experts )

1. Talk to several staff at school about her recent experience. Tell them that she went quiet, and then started to gag, then held throat as swelling developed.

Make sure it's all recorded on her medical care plan at the school, and that all teachers and support staff know as much as possible.

1. I'm a T.A in school and would be happy if a parent talked with me about important health concerns as well as with the teachers.

1. Do as much as you can for your daughter, so that you feel well prepared and can hopefully rest assured that you've done everything possible.

7, Get some support and reassurance from other parents in your situation. I expect there's an allergy support group ?

You did well. There may well often be someone in the vicinity who could administer an epipen to your daughter, but of course, you'll want to feel more confident yourself
too. You actually made a wise choice to have the most effective person available administer the pen to her.

So as I said I feel you did well, but this new experience for you all is telling you that there are new things you need to do to continue to keep her safe.

Make friends a little with your anxiety, it's there to help you and your daughter.

Then, after or during taking those other steps, you can also alleviate the anxiety through support of others.

Just like you're doing here. ( Though others may be gentler than me) Hoping to help

Eva - I'm sorry you had to go through this, it's scary.

My godson had and EP for bee stings and I had to use it once, it was horrible having to 'hurt' him - but you've no choice. I am sure if you had been the only one there you would have done it. As a mother it goes against the grain to 'hurt' your own children (and others hopefully! :) ).

Dry your tears, be glad she's OK and sign up for a course in the New Year.

As for school - talk to everyone about it, office staff & teacher, TA etc - tell them all about this episode you had, tell them how scary you found it and ask them if they could do it if necessary. Most schools insist on medicine etc being kept in the office so make sure there are plenty of people who are able to do it - not just the nurse. Make sure they have your permission for anyone to administer it etc.

Could you get DD an allergy BADGE - big bright one for school lunches?

Also, tell her to let an adult know if she starts to feel this way again, so they can make her better quickly, make sure she is less frightened of the EP than she is of the result if she doesn't have it :(

Schools deal with things like this a lot, so try not to worry x

EvaAnna, your dd is fine, thats the main point. the epipen worked.

i am going to practise with dd's out of date pen next month, as never had to use it.

be kind to yourself over this, it wasnt your fault

Don't beat yourself up over this - we all panic in situations like this!

You should try to make an appointment with the practice nurse at the GP who will be able to give you teaching on how to use properly.

Alternatively there are lots of recognised first aid courses including one by St Johns and the OFTSED recognised 12hr paediatric first aid course.

It's also a good idea to keep a few epipens in different places - the kitchen/dining area, your bag, dd's bedroom etc.

I just want to itterate what jugglingjo said about telling and retelling school and anyone else whose care she will be in is that the first symptom was that she went quiet etc

It sounds a horrendous experience and I'm sure I would have reacted in a similar way.

JugglingJo, thank you so much for your wise words, which I have reread several times. I never thought of it along the lines that the best thing to do was let someone else do it. I just assumed as her mother I should have done it. I feel much better thinking of it along those lines.

I did tell everyone at nursery today (she is currently at the school nursery) to the point that I thought I was boring everyone. Now I realise that my daughters health is more important than how I feel. I will make a more formal appointment to talk to those who are going to be involved in her care when she starts full time school in January.

Chippingin, thanks too for your wise words, you are all so kind. I feel 100 times better now than I did before I posted this. We have allergy stickers and nut allergy bracelets and I will ensure she wears these when she goes to school.

Fairytale, I have an epipen that is nearly out of date and as soon as it is, I am going to practice, practice, practice. I wish I had done this before.

Perhaps you could talk with the school now too, before she starts there, and check/ ask whether they have a nut/ sesame seed ban in place.

If not perhaps they could introduce one, with a note to parents that a child with a severe allergy to these products will soon be starting at the school.

At my son's school the children aren't allowed to bring in any products with nuts.

Whether it would be possible to ban chick-peas and lentils too I don't know.
But in the circumstances I'd imagine it would be possible.
Certainly worth discussing I would think.

Again allergy support groups may be able to advise further on other's experiences.

can i thank you for posting btw, as an incentive to practise more. will be making sure everyone has a go with the training pen over the holidays, and once Jan 1st comes round will be getting the out of date pen out and a big fat orange to stab :)

nannyro, my boss has offered me some time off to do some first aid training to help me deal with DD's allergies so I am definietly going to look into these courses. We have 3 epipens - 1 at school, and 2 I am supposed to keep with me all the time. I am going to contact dr to get a prescription for another one that I can keep in the kitchen at all times. I am soooo paranoid now.

cargirl, I will make sure I do that - going quiet on me was so obvious, but probably less obvious in a school environment. It wasn't something that I was initially looking out for, but as a Mum I just knew something was wrong, call it 6th sense.

You are all so kind.

xxx

Sorry to go on, but just thought, couldn't they have two at school, one to keep in office ( hopefully near school canteen ), and one for her teachers and support staff to use in her class-room ?(if ever necessary )

Glad you found my first post of some help

JugglingJo, I've met with the school and we have a care plan in place, I have an older daughter at school so I know them well. I haven't asked them about banning nuts etc, and they haven't offered, I might broach this with them asap as if anything, this experience has made me take this all a lot more serious. Did you DS school offer to ban the nuts?

The teacher has said that he has explained to the kids that they must wash their hands after eating nuts etc, but I am now feeling this is not enough.

Fairytale, I will have that orange out soon too! Am desperately trying to think of something else that more resembles her leg, but failing desperately!!

How awful for you, must have been so scary!!

Don't beat yourself up, it was a very stressful situation.

Lentils are legumes, so the same family as peanuts and chickpeas. AFAIK pulses are quite bad for cross contamination, so could have been in the same factory as chickpeas.

Soya is also a legume, so I would be careful with that as well.

Glad your DD is ok

Oh, actually it's not my DS who has an allergy.

I just found out about the nut ban when I started working there as a TA recently.

Perhaps it's my nursing background too that's made me pick up on this thread.

Also when I was about 10 my Grandpa had a severe reaction to a wasp sting, but was OK thanks to interventions of a first-aid trained police-man. I guess it stuck in the memory

A friend has an allergy to sesame seeds but it hasn't stopped him traveling the world and becoming a lecturer in Palaentology (fossils !)

As she gets older I'm sure your daughter will be able to administer the epipen as well as control her diet for herself.

JugglingJo, you are not going on at all. Everyone is so helpful. I realise that I have not been strong enough in dealing with this. I must put my daughters health first. I am going to get more epipens and I am also going to meet the school again, make sure everyone knows how she reacted and see about banning some of the things she is allergic too. I am also going to insist that the allergy clinic run more tests.

Thanks to everyone on here.

xx