The Continuing Support Thread for those who want an alcohol free life - Autumn 2026

[Onewildandpreciouslife]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to live a life free of alcohol.

No judgement, just honest support and kindness. The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
Come on in.

Thanks for the new thread @Onewildandpreciouslife

can I join please? My drinking has been a problem for what feels like ever, but the last 5 years or so have been really bad and I’m at the stage of losing friends and family.

My husband has tried everything to help me but he’s now at the point of saying if I drink myself to death, everyone will be sad but also relieved.

I’ve got two adult children and my poor daughter has seen me so drunk I could barely stand yesterday, but still wanting more booze.

I hear people saying a switch flicked and they stopped - I wish I could feel like that. I stopped drinking about 11pm last night and feel awful but determined. I don’t think I’m at risk of DTs etc as I am not an every day drinker and in fact, have stopped in the past for months at a time.

I’ve already got quit lit, and have booked to attend a SMART recovery meeting tomorrow afternoon - I want a female only group and that’s the first one.

I know I won’t drink today - it’s when it’s weeks down the line that the cravings just get so bad. Going to post on here too for accountability. I’ve spent half the night reading through posts - sorry not to name check everyone. But looking forward to never having to feel this wretched again 🤞

Thanks for the new thread @Onewildandpreciouslife .

Hello 👋 @Lovechicken .

Sorry you are struggling so much. There is so much support on here, please stay.

🌺

Thanks for the new thread x

Thank you for the new thread @Onewildandpreciouslife and for hosting.

I couldn't get to sleep last night - I think I eventually dropped off at about 4am and then I woke up at 7 and couldn't get back to sleep. A case of too much coffee I think!

I was thinking about George Orwell's description of his weekly Saturday night drinking sessions in the semi-autobiographical 'Down and Out in Paris and London'. If you haven't read it, he describes drinking red wine all night in a Paris bistro, and divides his getting drunk into four phases - a phase of euphoria and hilarity, a phase of feeling more reflectively happy, a phase of starting to feel irritable as everyone's behaviour deteriorated and finally a phase where he was numb, the wine had become a sour liquid that he was forcing down with no pleasure until everyone stumbled out in the early hours of the morning, staggering and vomiting. He then went home and slept till midday (his only day off!).

What's interesting is that he describes the price he pays for this as 'the subsequent headache' - he makes no mention of what is (in my opinion) the far worse psychological effects of a night's binge drinking and he doesn't seem to mind wasting his only day off. I completely related, though, to the numb, sour liquid phase - I would keep on until I'd drunk everything in the house or until I threw up - a futile attempt to prolong/recapture the initial 'happy' stages.

I wonder if Orwell didn't feel the psychological effects of a hangover or perhaps he chose not to mention it, as his purpose was to present a view of his 'down and out' life in Paris and how it was, and I suppose downing gallons of cheap red wine was a normal part of life for many lowly-paid, underfed and overworked Parisians.

Welcome @Lovechicken

We're similar in that I have two adult DC, a daughter at home who has a lot to say and a long suffering husband.

Get some breakfast down you and plenty of water and/or tea.

Ask away re questions.

@Lovechicken Welcome to the thread. You have made a great start by booking onto the SMART recovery meeting tomorrow, well done!

I think we can all relate to cravings whether we are just starting our sober lives or have been on the wagon for a long time - do share with us if you are struggling with a craving as the act of sharing it in itself can help you rationalise it and we can also offer what has helped us when temptation strikes.

Morning all, thanks for the new thread. Luckily I don’t feel too terrible this morning. I woke up at stupid o‘clock in a panic. I went downstairs and hid the bottle so DH wouldn’t find it. This is no way to live. I‘m starting to think that if the 30 day challenge doesn’t help me, I need to seek help. I can’t seem to overcome this on my own.

Thanks for the lovely welcome guys. I’ve managed some milk and heavily buttered toast - toast with lots of butter being something that I rarely eat because I’m always “trying to be healthy” whilst necking anything alcoholic I can get my hands on. It really is madness.

DH is being very nice to me which someone said on another thread, this makes it worse. We will go out for a drive later and I’ll get some fresh air.

@WendyWagon my daughter moved out last year so into her first flat. She’s really supported me - although initially she’s so angry for me drinking again/too excess. I am so worried she’ll go no/low contact and I couldn’t blame her if she did. I was horrible to her yesterday when I was trying to get out to buy alcohol - she’d been visiting- it was abusive. I could cry typing that but that’s the truth. I’ve messaged her to apologise but she’s probably still asleep. Reading the thread on here for those affected by someone else’s drinking, described the anxiety around the drinking and I’m pretty sure she will be feeling like that. I’m so ashamed.

deep down I know I’ve got to quit but part of me finds that too scary. I just can’t see myself being happily sober, although lots of people tell me it’s the best thing they ever did. This is my umpteenth attempt to stop over the years. And then kidding myself on I can moderate. Which only leads to chaos.

Welcome @Lovechicken ! I hear you on the healthy eating but drinking lots. It shows how ridiculous alcohol is and what it does to us. I won’t eat a 300 calorie doughnut but will neck a 600 calorie bottle of wine.

I was also thinking of this earlier- imagine there was a food that tasted absolutely amazing. But gave you a terrible stomach ache the next day. You wouldn’t eat it. Yet alcohol makes up feel like total crap and we still go back for more.

I‘m trying to change my mindset to how much alcohol takes from me. Because it is a lot.

@Conteffi 100% agree. I am sitting here telling myself “you don’t ever need to feel this way again”. But I know the cravings will come at some point. I know I’ll need to dig deep and not cave.

I would recommend One for the road- sober Dave. There's a page on adult children of drinkers. Very on point.
Normally I I'm not really a big fan of male writers ( The exception being Shakespeare ) but that particular book helped me.
I can't abide the mad drinker stories from celebrities.
@Lovechicken I've yet to meet a past alcohol dependent person without a history of shameful behaviour.
Gentle drunks are rare!

Thanks @WendyWagon - I’ll check that out. As much as it pains me to read about the affects on our loved ones, I can’t just ignore it any more. I’ve “consoled” myself in the past with statements like “I got drunk, it’s not like I killed someone” but no child should see their parent drink themself into oblivion.

edited to add - is a book or a podcast?

@Lovechicken If you normally avoid certain favourite foods, I can recommend giving yourself permission to eat them to get you through the early days. You will be cutting out a lot of sugar and calories by giving up alcohol.

I initially replaced my weekend binge drinking with weekend junk food, and waited until the habit-based alcohol cravings had subsided before sorting out my diet. I didn't actually gain weight as I was only swapping one source of calories for another.

'Whatever it takes' is a good motto and if it takes a giant bar of chocolate or a share bag of Doritos or a Domino's pizza or a mountain of buttered toast to get you past the early strong urges to drink, let it be so. Once you are feeling stronger about alcohol, you have all the time in the world to address any issues with your diet and in my experience it is much easier to sort out your diet because you never have to go 'teetotal' on food!

@PhantomOfAllKnowledge funny you should say that - I’ve just had a magnum for my lunch! So I’ll definitely be eating whatever I like until I’m stronger mentally and physically 🤞

edited to add - DH has just returned from the shops with my favourite chocolate!

Both.

Just place-marking :-)

Thanks for the new thread @Onewildandpreciouslife!

Three weeks today since I woke up and decided ENOUGH! It's been a tough weekend, but I made it. Checked into a hotel with DH, without a bottle of wine in my luggage and without sending him to the bar ASAP. It's also the first Halloween that I haven't answered the door with a glass of Prosecco in hand.

The Reframe app has been a godsend. I don't think I'd have made it this far without it. It's really helped me understand alcohol / addictive behaviours. Allen Carr's book Stop Drinking Now has also been helpful. I read a few pages everyday and log into the reframe app. Afterwards my resolve is much stronger.

Thinking about the Fantasy vs the Reality also helps.

The fantasy: I'll open a bottle, have a couple of glasses and go to bed after a lovely evening.

The reality: one sip has me wired and wanting more, more, more. No amount is ever enough. On a good night I force myself to bed, still wired, still wanting more, awake til all hours. On a bad night, it's anyone's guess, because I can't remember anything. Either way, the next morning I feel like shit. I try to remind myself this every time I want a drink!

The weekend is almost over. I know it's tough, but think how great it'll be to wake up without guilt, shame, or regret tomorrow morning!

Afternoon.

Hello @Lovechicken, gosh - when I read your sentence about your fears of your DD going no contact, I must admit to going a little bit cold. Just the thought of either of mine or even DH (the three people I love most in the world) doing that because of my behaviour really resonated as much as anything I’ve read. Well done for being honest and being here. I don’t know what the SMART recovery program is, but it sounds proactive and positive and that you are taking control. Please keep posting.

@WendyWagon , thanks so much for the recommendation re One for the Road podcast. I randomly chose an episode and listened to it while walking the dog. It was about Hangxiety and so relatable. I feel I’ll listen regularly.

@GunnelVallquist, I read your comment on the other thread about not drinking for now, and I get that not drinking at all feels enormous, but from your posts and comments on this thread, I do genuinely think that taking the option completely off the table might be useful in your case - there’s not then that tiny little option in your brain, because we all know on here that our brains only need the smallest, most minimal and minuscule reason to buy another bottle. Nothing you have said in any of your posts makes me think moderation would be in your best interests. Would that be something to mull over, making that step and switching that option completely off?

Long run done. I’m nicely tired. I’m oddly enjoying Diet Fanta at the moment as my evening drink.

Sorry if I’ve missed anyone or anything.

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife xx

@CrazyCatMam - same. Sometimes I can have one or two but eventually it creeps up and I just want endless amounts of alcohol.

So I’ve survived day 1 - anxiety through the roof but I guess that’s to be expected. DD has not responded to my apology message but again, probably to be expected as she’s so hacked off with me. DH is being kind which makes me feel even worse.

But I’ve been here before. It’s all my own fault and it’s up to me to sort myself out.

Hope everyone has had a good day and that we all get a good sleep tonight ❤️

Thank you @Onewildandpreciouslife 💗

Hello everyone, new and old- love and support to you all. I'm still here, hiding in the background, reading every single post, every single day.
It's 22 months for me today, and I can hand on heart assure those of you in the early stages, it really, really is worth it. You can do this. Yes, it is very hard, but, you really can do it. Believe in yourself- I believe in you 💗

I've not been posting much lately, but would love to come back if we go back to not posting when drinking, or talking about being drunk.

I always avoided 'quit lit' as it just reminded me of drinking - a bit like a dieter reading food articles - and have always found this thread a safe haven. Yes, we give advice based on our past experiences, and of course we support shipmates who are struggling, but it used to be a 'rule' that nobody posted when drinking, or talked about it.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but as this is a new thread, it might be a good idea to start it with that in mind? Otherwise newcomers might think the norm is to have lots of posts about drinking, as opposed to posts about not drinking, and follow that lead.

I hope others feel the same? If not, then of course it's not for me to dictate anything, but I suspect that there are at least some who might not have been posting so much lately for the same reason.

I do find it a bit triggering, it is a difficult balancing act this sobriety lark. Best thing I ever did was set myself the goal of one year sober, many times I wished I’d just said 3 or 6 months to prove I could do it but it was the year that really helped. Coming up to my second sober Christmas now and I’m so thankful to myself for bloody doing it, and to this thread for keeping me sane. I found the first holidays away very difficult because it was so unlike previous experiences.

Im so happy I took the leap, I have enough bad memories to last a lifetime but starting to make some lovely sober ones too.