Worried about my friend

[youbetterthinkthinkthink]

I’ve had a friend for around 30 years. When we were young drinking was a big part of our parents lifestyle and we started drinking at around 12/13 and going out round town at 14. We drank a lot because it was the norm. Over the years I’ve drank less and less often opting to drive to social occasions. I will have a couple glasses of wine with dh on a Saturday night most weeks but I’m not fussed if I don’t. friend has gone the other way and stayed a heavy drinker, drinking most evenings often to excess. Over the last few years she’s had a difficult time (loss of a family member, caring for a parent and divorce) she began to drink more and more. I wasn’t aware of how much until she became very ill and it transpired she was having 3-4 bottles of wine a night. She ended up in hospital and went to rehab for a detox. Coming out of rehab she was given ongoing support and a sponser, it seemed to have worked.
Howe I saw her last weekend and as soon as I saw her I could tell she is drinking again. Her eyes have a yellow tinge and her face is puffy. She’s admitted she has dropped off the program and started drinking again. But is adamant she has control as she is restricting herself to a few bottles at a weekend.
any suggestions how to help her see that this is the addiction?

Alcoholics have to want to help themselves. Yellow eyes is a sign of liver damage. I think all you can do is express your concern and depending how the conversation goes ask if she would consider going to the doc about her eyes?

Obviously there are other avenues you could take like gently tell her you’re worried about her and ask if she’s thought about cutting back or if there’s anything you can do to help? But she may take offence?

As someone with an alcoholic family member, she is lying. She’s drinking every day.
Definite liver damage.
You can try to encourage to stop, but unless she wants to, she won’t stop.

You're a lovely friend to worry about her, but in order to get sober some if not most alcoholics need to hit their rock bottom first. Her first rehab wasn't it but her second might be. She has to get to that point herself where she sees the addiction for what it is, although she might never get there.

She's definitely drinking a lot more than she let on. Depending on how she reacted when you broached the subject you could encourage her to see her GP, but other than that there's really nothing anyone could do if she doesn't want to help herself.

If her eyes really are turning yellow she needs immediate medical attention. Thats liver failure

Thanks she was seriously ill last time and told to stop drinking immediately (through detox) she only left rehab 12 weeks ago so her body/organs will have still been damaged. She also had chronically low vit b1 and is still having injections for it.

Thanks i really thought rehab was her rock bottom

My relative has been to rehab twice and is still destroying her and her children's lives with drinking. I fear there will be a health crisis, similar to your friend, in the near future but there is absolutely nothing anyone can do to stop her drinking if she doesn't want to. My relative is also in complete denial and refuses to admit to drinking even when she is slurring and repeating herself constantly. It's just awful to watch someone doing this to themselves, and the fallout for everyone around them

It’s awful isn’t it I just can’t understand how she can drink knowing the damage she’s doing