Binge drinking every weekend

[Pinkroberts]

Every single Friday I binge drink at home, starts with a wine while cooking. Then by the evening it becomes a bottle and a half.
Every. Single. Weekend.
I can't stop, and I've done this every weekend since I can remember (I am 40). Apart from when I was pregnant. I'm a single mum, my ex sometimes comes over and stays for a drink. We separated due to his alcohol ironically, he isnt the best company.

And now I have a neighbour who comes over for a drink, who is also a single mum.

Even writing this I'm aware how pathetic I sound, and ruining my children's weekends due to making myself feel unwell.
I guess I'm lonely, I do everything myself and feel like doing this is some sort of entertainment.
I'm not a confident driver and feel somewhat stuck. I want to date again but have no childcare to go on dates.
Basically I'm fed up, I want a new life but feel on repeat.
I'm not looking for anyone to tell me how awful I am. I feel this anyway. I'm looking for advice on if you were the same and managed to turn it around.

I understand this situation very well. Could you buy lower percentage wine? Or buy a smaller bottle? Or dilute with soda water? Or get a wine lock thingy, decant only what you are prepared to drink that evening, and then get your nice neighbour to to the combination lock code so that you can't open it! In my heart though, I think quitting might be the only answer. I absolutely get how this situation arises though. It's hard to be strong and resolved about these things when there isn't another adult around to support you. Another option could be to seek that support from an Alcohol support group. I think many involve having a mentor, and that might help you stay strong and to feel accountable. Good luck with whatever you decide to try x

So sorry to hear how difficult this is for you. I completely understand how easy it is to slip into that pattern. I was the exact same and it only gets worse (not saying that will happen to you). On reflection now I realise the impact it had on my young children that I wasn’t aware of at the time. I thought I was fun and they were getting a great, happy version of me and hence infact they didn’t like it and found it scary at times. They will openly say it now they are older. There are lots of online meetings you can join in the evenings when you would usually be drinking - SMART recovery meetings are great as well as AA ones. Lots of luck!

I'm off the waggon at the moment as I'm in the process of selling my house and finding being sober every weekend just too much right now. When I've had dry spells of months at a time, it really is a case of just not having alcohol in the house to start with and finding plenty of things to do in the time I would have spent drinking. I set the positive goal of improving my fitness, rather than the negative giving up alcohol.

Can you plan things to do with your kids on weekends which mean you need to be active? Any nearby parks, nice walks etc to make the most of the good weather. Could you make plans with your neighbour and her kids to go somewhere for the day, try to move your socialising away from just drinking if you enjoy her company. Being active is always much more enjoyable when you're not hungover, so hopefully your brain will start to link the two together with a bit of time. Would your neighbour watch your kids sometimes whilst you go on dates, you could offer to have her kids in return if she wants a break.

It's so hard once you get into the habit of weekend drinking, it's just such an easy stress release isn't it? I know one day I will need to go teetotal as I can't moderate my drinking in long term. Loneliness and boredom are also my main reasons for drinking. It's less scary than putting myself out there an making new friends, I like the familiarity of drinking myself to sleep, but at the same time hate myself for repeatedly doing it. It's great that you're wanting to make a change and are wanting to give your kids the best childhood you can.