If you weren't a heavy drinker but have given up permanently, please tell me how your life has changed for the better

[Squarehairbear]

I'm trying out going AF. Not a huge drinker (at least not since my early 20s when life was a bit crazier) but DH likes wine and I was finding I'd regularly tip over the 14 units even though I didn't drink during the week. I've been sober curious for years and dipped in and out of that community, going for a couple of months at a time without drinking, cutting down radically etc but each time it gradually ticks back up to where it was before. Then 3 or 4 weeks ago, I went to an event where there were lots of free drinks and I kept being topped up and I felt so, so awful afterwards for days, not hungover as such but terrible anxiety about having maybe been a bit sloppy or silly. It freaked me out so much that I decided to give up. I've had a few sober evenings out since and not really missed drinking (I'd thought I would). But I find it hard to imagine a life completely without alcohol. DH misses a Friday night drink with me and he and DB were having a glass of wine with dinner last night and for the first time I really wanted to join them and started questioning my resolve.

Here are the things I like about not drinking:

• better sleep
• less anxiety
• feeling like I'm totally present when socialising, really taking in what people are saying etc
• my teen DC not seeing me drinking (NB it's not like they've ever seen me drunk, just slightly tipsy once after a christmas party but I do really to model having fun without alcohol)
• I think my skin looks a bit better but I might be imagining that

But I do think increasingly I'm going to miss that buzz of a cocktail after work on a friday or whatever and can't imagine not ever having another drink.

I'd love some inspiration in the form of positive ways your life has changed since giving up booze totally.

I stopped drinking in my early 30s. I had a serious reaction to a drug I was taking which caused liver damage and couldn’t drink for months and just got out of the habit.
I had already developed a reaction to sulphites so even half a glass of wine made me feel awful. I do miss a good red wine and occasionally treat myself to an organic one because there are less sulphites in them.

Socialising was a revelation. It was easy to be tee total amongst drinkers because they didn’t notice if I drank Tonic water and acted up a bit. But I realised how boring drunk people were and disinhibited drunk people could be quite mean.

I wouldn’t say I’m healthier but I rarely take painkillers for headaches. And don’t miss whole days recovering from a night drinking.

I still have the odd GnT or vodka martini. But since I’m now the main driver it’s just easier to stick to non alcoholic drinks. My DSis and I will have a glass of Prosecco when we see each other but I would say that I drink a glass or two of alcohol 3-4 times a year.

I think my skin has benefitted from long spells of abstinence and I can afford to treat myself as a result of not wasting money on alcohol.

I won’t give it up as I only drink about once every 3-6 months or so. And even then not enough for an actual hangover. So I just have no need to go TT. Best of luck though.

I’m often on standby for lifts for disorganised DC.
Pros:
Cheaper
No hungover feeling after just one drink(age!)
Less tolerance of spending time with people who behave stupidly when drunk
Lots of good zero alcohol ciders/gins/wine alternatives easily available
Drink more water and loads of ice
Cons:
I do miss a fruity cocktail sometimes. But that’s ok if I fancy one
Alcohol free alternatives aren’t cheaper in bars
I get through a lot of delicious tonics and fresh juices
We get lots of alcohol based gifts which I feel guilty for not using up.

All the above plus so much more time
It may not be super glamorous, but I am reading a lot more and really enjoying it

Agree with you and pps… better sleep, definitely better skin, more time

I like also-

• always being the same version of myself - so no massive ups like when drinking, no massive downs when hungover
• zero worry about what I’ve done / said the night before - as totally in control of my behaviour - this will never get taken for granted !
• no mental gymnastics about should I drink or drive, would I get home early if driving to have a drink before bed, or if out drinking getting carried away and then feeling deprived at having to be back home at a certain time for babysitters
• more time in the evenings - no just flopping on the couch for the night with wine. Definitely more time in the mornings - once I’m awake I’m up, no hungover / staying in bed feeling rough. And because I’ve slept well and feel refreshed I’m more enthusiastic about doing something with that time
• first sober holiday was an eye opener. Yes I missed the afternoon / evening drinks but I was up and out for a walk each morning and evening so was lovely to start the day like that and also then see the sunsets

I’m a year in now and I know what you mean about possibly missing that end of week drink on a Friday but honestly it doesn’t cross my mind now

I do look forward to nice alcohol free drinks and nice food so there are still treats there but nothing that alters my state of being or runs on to spoil my morning the next day

Thanks, all - lots of encouraging stuff there. Especially the sober socialising / holidays & more time. I love the idea of waking up energised and excited about the day ahead but am not really feeling that yet!!