Admitting I have an alcohol dependency

[FlamingoFloss]

Good evening everyone, I think it’s time for me to admit I have alcohol dependency. Just that really.

Well done honey.💜 Saying/writing it speaks volumes to your readiness for help.
What has made you face up to this? X

Thank you. I’m drinking almost every day. I know it’s not healthy but I like the feeling of it. It makes me feel better about things. I know I’ve become dependent. I want it way more than I should. I don’t think about it when I wake up but have the thought when I’m driving home from work or if I’m working from home I’ll start thinking about it in the afternoon. I can’t believe this has happened to mE if I’m honest. That sounds bad, like I judge people, which I don’t, but it’s just no somewhere where I thought I would be, if that makes sense

If you feel ready to quit you can find lots of support here. I stopped completely almost a decade ago and genuinely, even though i was a heavy daily drinker, it was a lot easier than i expected once I'd made the decision - a lot more manageable than cutting down, which made me think about it more! The thing is to find other ways to manage whatever it helps with. I ran and swam (badly!) to help me sleep, made sure I had very absorbing books to read (or whatever you're into), attempted hard recipes... distraction really helps! And so does the self-confidence you'll get from taking control. It sounds as if you use it to self-medicate stress or anxiety? Your GP can help with that - they won't judge.

Good luck, naming the problem is an important first step!

Do you mostly drink on your own?

Thank you and well done to you @StripedVase . I think it’s amazing youve manage this. I don’t know if i can quit entirely. I just don’t know whats happened - drinking at home was never a thing for me before.
I think I am self medicating although I’m also on anti anxiety meds so not sure what else my GP could do.

I think if you're on meds but still feeling you need to drink to relax it's worth telling the gp, if you feel able.
I got a lot out of reading other people's sober memoirs, as well.
But be gentle on yourself - guilt and ruminating make it worse. See cutting back as a positive thing you hope to do for yourself, rather than an onerous duty. Try going a couple of days, try a new project or a hobby, talk honestly to a friend about it... you will find a way, the fact that you want to genuinely is the first step!

I really appreciate this. I think perhaps it’s worth speaking with my GP - I hadn’t actually considered this. The thing is, I have so much in my life - I work full time, started my own business, doing a course, have a great social life, also elderly parents and struggles with my husband

It can be deeply calming just to say it to someone, either someone you trust deeply or a professional. You're so very not alone in this even if it feels that way. Have a look at some of the chats on here about cutting back & stopping. We are legion! X

We are legion!

Good luck Flamingo and reach out for support if you need it.

You might also find in person support groups helpful, if only to meet fellow alcoholics. Talking with other people who have experienced what you have, when you have been living in secrecy and shame, is incredibly helpful and powerful. You are not alone.

Well, you can see by my username that I find this relatable. I first started trying to go sober in 2023. Not stringing many days together right now as I'm struggling emotionally. So I will be as interested as you to see what tips are shared in this thread.

For me it's really helped eating a proper dinner in the evening and a pudding too if I fancy. I am much more likely to start on the wine on an empty stomach.

I know I need some sort of sober community because I can't do it alone. I HATE AA meetings in person. But I do a few on zoom. I do, however, like https://www.theluckiestclub.com/

But it costs a small fee after a free trial.

Good luck OP, just do it today. (And then go again tomorrow 😉)

That’s interesting you say that as I also am more likely to drink on an empty stomach. Once I’ve eaten I lose interest as I’m too full

Practically speaking your body craves the sugar as well as the alcohol so if you’re ready to stop make sure you’ve got all your favourite sweet treat in the house and a nice substitute drink.

I needed 0% stuff for a few weeks but after a while I realised I didn’t want to be reminded of booze and preferred fancy mixers and tonics. My current favourites are San Pellegrino Lemon or Grapefruit, grapefruit soda, cucumber aqua libra and I have loads of herbal teas. The Aldi Sleep one is a nice sweet tasting chamomile and apple

well done op at least you are reflecting and trying to make a change

Is there a link between those who drink too much and prefer to do so on an empty stomach?

Yes, unconsciously or consciously problem drinkers might prefer drinking on an empty stomach because it will have more of an effect.

I don't know what the link is between a full stomach and less craving for alcohol, but anecdotally it certainly seems true. Especially nourishing, warm dinners.

It might be a good idea to go food shopping and get some nice things in this week OP?

Having a dessert or cake in is a good idea because you can miss the sugar from the drinks, and to treat yourself while you are lowering your alcohol intake.

Edited because I used the word 'nice' about six times

Food stops the alcohol from being absorbed as quickly, so it makes you drunk faster. The sugar in the drink then raises your blood sugars triggering the brain to lower appetite to regulate sugars and so you’re not hungry anymore.

I hope you are doing ok today @FlamingoFloss x

I’ve came to the same conclusion, drink a bottle of wine every night and a few shots have started creeping in during the day.

I think it’s lack of things to do since I retired early.
I go to the gym 5 days a week eat healthy and have a very happy marriage my brothers are problem drinkers also.
Hopefully following this thread will help.
Good luck OP.

hello OP, there is so much useful information on these boards, do have a read. I quit at the beginning of 2023 and my life is unrecognisable now, every aspect is better! If you do want to quit there's loads of support here.