I need help

[enok]

Am 53 and have an excuse for everything -I hide bottles - yes I am a teacher etc etc wine is the only thing I look forward to daily.
My husband hates me drinking

If that is honestly ‘all’ you drink, you might be ok to simply stop, but no one can say for sure, so tapering down the number of units you consume in a 24 hour period would be safer.

That is what was recommended to me when I first sought help from drug and alcohol services in my area. I had to keep a drink diary for a week, recording honestly how many units I was drinking each 24 hours (it was a lot more than I had been persuading myself I was having), then they told me specifically how to reduce my consumption until I reached a certain point where it was deemed safe to stop.

I won’t go on about how successful or otherwise that was, as I have posted on here many times about the stint in rehab I actually needed, but safe to say it IS possible to come back from alcohol dependency/addiction and have a wonderful life free of it. You have to really want it, though, for yourself, not for anyone else.

Hi OP,

Well done on recognising you have a problem.

Recovery from addiction isn't a linear or straightforward process - in fact, the most important step happens before you even put down the bottle for good. You have to really want to quit.

It's about looking at the future and seeing that there is no future if you continue drinking. Alcoholic drinking is progressive. Your alcohol consumption, slow or fast, is on an upward trajectory. There is no way to continue drinking as you are and escape serious health impacts in the end, and because of your addiction you cannot moderate your intake. Your life, health and happiness depends on quitting for good.

When people talk about addicts "still being in denial", it refers to not recognising the above. Thoughts like "I enjoy it but I'll have to try to quit for my husband", or "I don't think I need to quit altogether, I just need to get it under control", or "I'll be able to tackle the drinking when everything else is a bit calmer".

That's why it's important to ask if you really want to quit? Or if you are only now considering it necessary it because your husband is pissed off with you? Can you see yourself never drinking again?

People of all backgrounds and all walks of life develop addictions. If you seek help, you will find kind and non judgemental support in recovery spaces like AA. You are not alone x

You say you’re enjoying it and blaming it on your husband’s faults. In order to stop you need to really want to stop. To own it as a problem and be determined to make things right.

So are you drinking as an escape from your husband’s behaviour?
If you feel it is so, I understand, because it’s easier to drink wine, zone out and try to live in oblivion than live the reality of our lives if we are so unhappy,
I have experienced similar, your not alone.
There is lots of support out there to help you when you’re ready. 🙏✨