Leaving an alcoholic.

[bluedelphiniums]

Has anyone on here found the courage to leave an alcoholic partner and feels able to share the outcome? How hard was it to leave? And on balance was it the right decision? TIA.

I left a very heavy drinker. His drinking worsened and he eventually died of an alcohol-related disease. It was terribly sad, but it was not my fault.

Please do not let them make you feel guilty or less than. I suffered a great deal with my ex, you are in charge of your happiness. Sending love

My partner is a heavy drinker. I wouldn't say alcoholic because he doesn't seem to have a dependency. But I cannot imagine how hard it must be OP in this situation.

I think my Mum is an alcoholic from her behaviour. At Christmas apparently nobody was offering her enough alcohol. She's not very mobile and I'm tee total nowadays so it just didn't occur to me. She's made a massive stink about this and other things but I genuinely believe it's because she wanted to spend three days absolutely pissed. It's all caused some massive family fall outs. People aren't talking and I genuinely think it's all down to my Mum not getting the wine and gin she wanted.

And that's what addicts do. Everything boils back to their physical and psychological need for their drug. If they don't get it for some reason, then it's everybody's fault but theirs.

I'm not sure if that's helpful. But I'd seek support from some of the charities out there who work with the relatives of addicts. I do worry about my partner sometimes but also, since becoming tee total, I do realise how much alcohol and very high intake of alcohol is normalised in the UK to an extent that's not normal for any other drug. So much so, there are loads of people who would be classed as alcoholics but don't see themselves as one.

Yes I split with dh - over 2years ago

his drinking got worse and worse and temper /shouting /swearing in front of dc

he thought I would change my mind. Yes I cried many tears at the time as I did love him and no one wants their marriage to end

but dc deserve a safe happy non shouty home and he had had so many chances to stop but he just lied and hid the amount he was drinking and denied it - even though in hindsight it was obvious he was drinking

we are much happier now

Now on last bit of divorce - which has taken 10mths and that’s without him contesting anything - friends have Taken longer due to finances /custody etc

2yrs on he is still drinking. Even more as no one to limit /control him

There’s a support thread on this board you might find useful. Lots of good advice and solidarity there. Good luck OP

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5515006-support-group-for-those-affected-by-someone-elses-drinking-thread-5?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share