Day 1... again

[CrybabyDrybaby]

I am at day 1 again. I had a good run up of about 5 months alcohol free around a year ago but unfortunately broke that and went back to my old ways. For the past 12 months, I am drinking regularly and sometimes too much. I get awful hangxiety and feel terrible in general. I actually had a health scare at Christmas with my liver but it turned out to be fine which in some ways didn't help, that could have/should have been a wake up call. I feel awful physically and feel my moods are getting affected too. The big thing us myself and my spouse have started arguing again. We didn't fight for the whole time I abstained. It got bad again in the summer, but then they cut back and things were ticking along nicely until recently. Now it's always stupid arguments but it's not nice.

I know how to do it, I have tried to start again a few times since this time last year. I feel I need accountability though.

I remember around this time last year before I started back drinking again how amazing and motivated I felt. I am sat here now with mountains of housework to do on my day off doomscrolling and wasting a beautiful sunny day.

I feel I know moderation doesnt work for me as I always end up back at the start, but right now I have a lot of events coming up and the thought of never again is very overwhelming.

I plan to make it to April 6th as my first goal and go from there.

I have all the books, I must start reading them again. Any tips for for starting all over? I am half positive and half dreading the next few days...

But heres to day 1... again.

Keep going. You're doing well, even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment. It's not how we fall - because we ALL do fall - it's how we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down and keep striding forwards that counts. You can do it. xx 💐

One day at a time OP.

I also reached a point where I knew there was no way I could moderate so I had to give up. The thought of never drinking again was overwhelming, so don’t think like that. Just think one day, then another, then another. The thing that kept me going was reading somewhere, and then frequently repeating to myself

no one ever wakes up and regrets not drinking the night before!

You can do it op!

Steve g jones clinical hypnotherapist self esteem cds were good when I couldn’t give up cigarettes.. I was down to 1 a month but could not get out of my life… it minimised my errors and gave me mental strength..

Hey OP! 👋 Not sure if you’re checking back on your thread regularly, but I’ve had three mornings this week where I’ve woken up feeling terrible - not an awful hangover but very emotional and unhappy after a afternoon/night of drinking. Totally abstaining isn’t my long term goal but I clearly am not in a good state of mind to drink, so I want to take a break from it… One step at a time. I’m keen to go to April 6th with you 😊

Thank you all so much, So I have managed 2 days, I would be delighted to have anyone who wants to join in, it hasn't been easy, but it was great waking up with a clear head both mornings.

Hi OP can I join you for a month to start with?

The wasting a sunny day hit a chord with me because I’ve just had no motivation lately to get my arse out of bed. I feel like a month off alcohol will help me get my mojo back.

@CrybabyDrybaby - two days is a MASSIVE achievement. Well done! It's so, so hard. But definitely worth it. I'm having a lovely day today - nice dog walk and a little bit of tidying done. Not much to speak of, but I appreciate it so much. Many, MANY a weekend has been wasted through being drunk throughout, sick and miserable.

You can do it. I believe in you. Every hour that you don't give in is a victory. You can pull yourself free and keep going. Two days is amazing. Be on the high alert for day 7 to 10 (roughly). The Wine Witch/Vodka Voldemort will start whispering in your ear - "See?! You've PROVED you can give up. You KNOW you can moderate. Just a little one - you DESERVE it..." it's insidious. And all lies. Don't listen.

If you want to - you and anyone else reading - there's a long running thread on MN for those of us trying to stay true: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5504443-the-continuing-support-thread-for-anyone-trying-to-lead-an-alcohol-free-life-spring-into-summer-2026 - you will be very, VERY welcome to join us there. It's a great mix of those who are at the very beginning of their sober days, all the way along to those celebrating sober anniversaries of some years. There's no judgement, no lecturing, just wisdom, experience, understanding and solidarity (plus occasional appearances of mascot/cabin boy Sid). There's another, separate, MN thread for anyone looking to keep drinking but moderate their intake. This one is for shipmates like me (and perhaps you?) - I know I cannot moderate. If it's in the house I will drink it. For me, the problems do not lie in the 6th glass, the 10th, the 27th... they are in the first. The first is always the catalyst for the next downfall.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Well-written, honest, even funny at times - the writers completely get it because they have lived it too.

Whether you wander over to the thread or not, or just take comfort here, I wish you many happy sober mornings to come. You've made it this far - and you didn't make it this far to ONLY get this far. Brilliant stuff. Keep going. x

Hi, how are you doing OP?