First dry week while managing a pub, looking for support and tips

[Strugglingtostop]

Hi, I'm aiming to do my first dry week. Last drink was Saturday afternoon. So far so good. The real test will be tonight as I am at work, my first evening shift for nearly a week. I work in a pub as a manager and have always drank, it's recently gotten out of hand which is why I'm stopping. Beer is woven into my whole self, or so it feels, it's formed my personality- I'm the real ale girl. I feel like I have to love up to my reputation. Also, I like it alot, I like to feel tipsy, it passes the time, it fills me up, it relaxes me, gives me confidence I sometimes need.. the list really could go on. I need some good advice and a bit of moral support please.

Good for you on deciding to make this change.

I would suggest that AF alternatives are your friend to start with (people have different views on whether they are helpful or triggering- I personally found them very helpful in the early days, but eventually moved on from them). If you don’t feel comfortable with an AF alternative, then it’s all about the glass - nice goblet, plenty of ice and a slice …

You have lots of beliefs about alcohol that it will be helpful to unpick at some point - This Naked Mind or The Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace are both very good books for addressing that - but in the early days it’s all about just not drinking, one day at a time.

Good luck!

Thank you. I have a non-alcoholic beer at the ready, I'll buy some pop or juice or something for later too. Thank you for the book recommendations, I'll take a look.

One day at a time. I can do this.

A few theories I’ve looked at suggest that to change behaviour you need to change either your attitude (what you think about drinking alcohol and your evaluation of the benefits/drawbacks) subjective norms (what those around you think of drinking alcohol) or your perceived control of your behaviour (internal and external factors).

I’d suggest the best things to do would be to change your opinion of alcohol. Look into the side effects, long and short term, the health and social costs, the psychological impact. Really put yourself off the stuff.

Then, yes, some nice alternatives (controlling external factors). Another solution would be a SMART or AA meeting to change your subjective norms (people there see alcohol as dangerous rather than fun) even if you don’t think you have alcohol use disorder.

And possibly give yourself some cringey grounding phrases to tell yourself - I am in control of my consumption, alcohol does not control me or my choices, etc (internal control factor).

Good luck!

It’s just one day remember that. Just a few hours to get through

I really recommend the Reframe app. It addresses the reasons why we turn to alcohol, and the brain chemistry behind it. But it’s all done in bite sized daily chunks. There are online support groups and forums too.
Give it a go, it’s a paid for app, although I think the first week is free.

Thanks all. I've seen first hand the damage it can do, relationship breakdowns, families pulled apart by social services and sadly not uncommon - death. But I also see the fun, the banter, the coming together of people all thread together by a pint. It's easy to convince myself I'm on the good side of it.

My relationship with alcohol has definitely improved. It's all centred around work for me now; the proximity of the beer, fulfilling some 20 odd year reputation, the habit. I'm slowly untethering myself from the hold beer has on me and hoping, in time that I can still enjoy it but more responsibly. But for now it's abstinence. I got to end the end yesterday and I can do it again today.