The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

@WendyWagon lunch sounds delicious, I think I’m going to get started on our roast pork, sides to be decided.

Im feeling achey after drinking the M&S 0.5% pinot noir, closest thing I can find to the real thing but something def doesn’t agree with me.

@TwoNicePuppies can you list your usual meals, I’m sure we’ll have some easy additions or switches. Adding some nuts/seeds to salads or breakfast are good,
I’m sorry about the flakey friends, I think it’s quite confronting to some people about their own drinking habits so try not to take it personally x

@REP22 love Sid in the bluebells, Tess sounds like a lovely dog too x

@elusivehope my main focus has not been drinking so the SW goes out the window if I need AF options, a take away or chocolate to cope, but the good decisions slowly add up and the energy I now have to focus on a bit of exercise help too. You’re doing great one day at a time x

Right I best get on with the day and the Easter egg hunt I need to set up in the garden.

My mother just popped in with our Easter eggs, she asked if I fell off the wagon as I look shattered & yellow, husband had to verify it was all AF!
Thanks @FiloPasty We are very ‘country’, have an allotment, keep hens, shoot & fish so most protein we eat is sourced by us & we grow veg & fruit (season dependent). I’m in restaurants for work 3-5 times a week but would generally choose something healthy, mainly because I don’t like stodgy, greasy food. I’m a ‘little & often’ eater so usually have 5/6 meals a day. Yesterday eg. (at home all day)

1. scrambled eggs with mushrooms on sourdough
2. cuppa, homemade flapjack & a banana
3. trout salad wrap & potato wedges
4. paté, chutney & sourdough.
5. venison bolognaise with pasta, broccoli & cauliflower.
6. porridge with rhubarb, peanut butter & cinnamon (made with water as I don’t like dairy)

I don’t think it’s what I’m eating, it’s the amount I can eat in one go before feeling stuffed.

@WendyWagon thank you, I’ll certainly try the pink highlighter! I’m sorry you lost friends,I totally relate to being taken advantage of £ wise, I’ll definitely miss some of mine, but yes, if they don’t love me as I am I’m better off without them (never read/seen Bridget Jones, I’ll put it on the list of films to keep me busy during the long nights!). I might get the nutricheck as it would be good to see how many calories I actually eat, as I never get hungry (I eat before the feeling comes) I presume I’m getting enough but obviously not as I’m averaging a lb a week loss!

@TwoNicePuppies that meal list sounds fab. I'm coming round!

I'm very country too even though my work was London, Paris , New York.
I love hens, gardens and tweed!
My grandfather was a dairy farmer and that's my happy place.
Nuts might be the answer.

@WendyWagon your jet set career sounds super fun. I get about in Europe once a month but probably not as exciting as your trips! We are very fortunate, my dad is a gamekeeper (although NC now due to his alcoholism!) so I was brought up in the fields & woods, the lifestyle is nice but also tied to booze; making cider/perry & wines with excess fruit/veg, yearly sloe berry harvest for the gin that goes into hipflasks on shoot day, etc. I know I’m better out of it but it’s so ingrained.

Hello shipmates,

Happy Easter to you from me and Sid. Thank you for your kind comments about Bluebell Sid and Tess. ❤️ One of the reasons that Sid particularly likes bluebells is that they grow to precisely the right height to, erm..., "tickle his fancy" as he capers through them. Mucky pup.

@TwoNicePuppies - I'm sorry your "friends" were so mean to you. That's horrible and says so much more about them than it does about you. Well done for staying true - I know how hard it is. Sadly, I don't believe that they are real friends at all. They should support you in your choices and the tough times and rejoice with you in all your wins. @WendyWagon is absolutely right, anyone who does not love or accept you for the you that you are is not worth the bother. It is sad though, I'm sorry. Catherine Grey tells a sad story in one of her books about how a friend screamed at her that she was "ruining the birthday party" by not drinking to excess with everyone else - it was a child's third birthday party. I think you're amazing. We'll all be rooting for you on the 8th.❤️

I don't have much on the weight-loss advice as I am at the opposite end of the scale. I can recommend chocolate milkshake for slapping the pounds on.

I know what you mean about getting rid of things @elusivehope - I am the same, and attach memories to things like clothes and old toys; I am a borderline hoarder, could easily slip into a full-blown problem if I don't be mindful of it. I'm better than I was. At one point I paid a company to come in and clear out the clutter, but I still held onto clothes and toys. My plan for this year is to sort the clothes buildup. I've bought the boxes... Sorry it set your asthma off - hope you're feeling better.

My victory for today was cleaning the bathroom ceramics. They weren't awful, but enough to be encroaching on my peace of mind. I watched Sort Your Life Out for the first time recently - I thought it might annoy me but I enjoyed it. It reminded me of the tips that Aggie and Kim (remember them?!) used to give about simple cleaning solutions. I had a massive bottle of apple cider vinegar so put some in the sink, mixed in some bicarbonate of soda and it worked an absolute treat. All sparkly new and faintly appley-scented. Another little big victory to cheer my soul.

Thank you for your kind words @Sunshinebound99 - I am glad that my post helped a little bit. Hope you are doing OK; your DH too. 💐

Strength and courage. It's going to be alright. xx

Thank you so much. That is so great to hear how things worked out for you!! I do hope he will be ok. It’s positive he was offered other things but it’s such a niche market and it’s possible they were the only options for a while. Previous roles now filled but we will have to look forwards and not back. I need to be optimistic. He very much felt blah about the role for the last three years and was only hanging in there for stability. So it is right that he moves on.

hope you’re having a good Easter 🐣

Thank you so much. I’m glad it worked out for you too and we will hopefully in time see the positives. I’ve come down with a cold so positivity is a little tricky today. X

Thank you!! 🙏 very much hope so x

@TwoNicePuppies im coming round too sounds delicious! I think extra calories are quite tricky if you’re not into dairy, as I’d say extra cheese, nuts and a weekend dessert with custard x
Maybe up to 3 eggs if you only having 2 and add trout/salmon with breakfast.

Happy Easter shipmates!
Just catching up after a few days doing terribly wholesome activities. Walking, photographing gothic houses (I love gothic architecture) and stuffing my chops with chocolate.
@JK26 stick with us! We’ve all been there.
thanks to everyone who commented about workplace Stockholm syndrome. I don’t think I realised just how much it’s affected me over the last five years and it feels like I’m starting to move into the light after a very lengthy period in the darkness..
I’ve always loved writing short stories, poems, etc but for the past four years I haven’t written a single thing. But on Saturday I suddenly had an idea and I wrote it down and I thought holy smokes my brain is returning! I’ll let you know when I’m shortlisted for the booker prize or equivalent literary accolade. You’ll all be invited to the AF party.

That's really encouraging to hear @Carpetburn - I love writing too. Please can I reserve a signed copy of your anthology? 🤞🙂 x

The Bridport prize has a closing date of 31 May - categories include poetry, flash and short stories.

Hi all, hope you've had a good day! Ours has been peaceful. Apart from the fact that I had a long long coffee meet up with a friend whom I love dearly but who has some mad political views. (Think George Galloway, hard left, anti-Europe, quite pro-Russia.) Once I managed to steer the convo away from politics it was OK. We had a nice dinner mostly catered by M&S.

I'm not craving drink at all which is just so relaxing compared to my usual constant mental battle. I know it's partly because I don't really have any stress triggers at the moment (I finished the article, I have a break from work, DH and I are getting on well). I worry about how I will cope when things get stressful again. But for now I won't fixate on it. The longer I can stay sober when things are peaceful, the better chance I have of carrying on sober when things get bumpy.

It's good to hear from you @Adsy1988 .

@TwoNicePuppies that's a shame about your friends. In my experience people who think non-drinkers are boring either a) may have a drinking problem themselves and therefore feel uncomfortable around non-drinkers, as another poster said, or b) have no clue how addiction works and think that because THEY can moderate, so can everyone else. It was a revelation to me that some of us are just wired a bit differently to others. I used to marvel at how people like my DH could pour a glass of wine and not finish it; I thought he was exercising some sort of amazing willpower. It was a relief for me to get to AA and realise that there is actually a big subset of people in the world who, like me, couldn't moderate. It was all or nothing. 'One drink is too many and a thousand is never enough'. But yeah, either way, these 'friends' of yours are being very selfish.

Like others I think your diet sounds both nutritious and delicious. I wonder if it's worth asking your GP about the weight loss, just in case there's something else going on with your body apart from the fact that you've ditched the booze? But I'm no expert...

Thanks @FiloPasty for the encouraging words. I hope your egg hunt went well. I used to love setting up egg hunts in the garden when the kids were smaller.

@REP22 you and I sound quite similar on the hoarding front! Good luck with your clothes project. Despite the difficulty of it, I find it feels so good once you've cleared out some space.

@Carpetburn that's fantastic that you're feeling inspired to write again. Go for it! I'd also love to read anything you eventually produce.

Hope the rest of the bank holiday weekend goes smoothly for everyone.

@Sunshinebound99 just rereading & my post sounded a bit ‘aren’t I brilliant, I got redundancy & a dream job’, that wasn’t my intention & I don’t want you to think I was minimising how difficult it is. When I was in my consultation period I went through so many emotions! Relief that I was getting out of the toxic environment & the nice lump that would be going into my account, embarrassment that colleagues/customers would think it was me they didn’t want, rather than the role, fear about what the future would hold and genuine panic that I would start drinking at 7am every day and kill myself within a year! My industry is also niche and what I discovered was that other companies had simply thought that I’d never leave Company X as I’d always been there, so why waste their time approaching me, once I was available I got so many offers I could almost name my price & dictate my terms! I soooooo hope that happens for your husband!
@REP22 thank you so much, I appreciate your kind words ❤️ I’m definitely not amazing, but I’m sober, and I have people who love me & that I love, so I’m a lucky lady!
@FiloPasty @WendyWagon I think more nuts are a good idea, calorie dense but won’t make me too full. I’ve been shoving in a teaspoon of peanut butter each time I pass the cupboard, but nuts I can carry with me when I’m out & about 👍🏻
@elusivehope your meet up with your friend sounds interesting, pleased that you had some nice food & more importantly that you’re not craving at the moment and feel peaceful, long may it continue!
My ‘friends’ probably fall into category a); we met at college so the only times we’ve been together sober were in class, doing A level work, so yeah, I probably was boring! I do have some lovely mates who I meet for dog walks, coffee, theatre trips, spa days, etc. so I’ll be okay without the unsupportive ones!
Good shout on seeing my GP, my husband has actually said the same thing so I’m going to book in ASAP.

Thanks so much for the replies yesterday, have a lovely Easter Monday shipmates.

Morning all.

I'm trying to steady my brain with a book.
DD not well. Nothing to be done until tomorrow.

Afternoon shipmates!
Thanks for all the positive vibes about the return of my brain. Good shout @ShyMaryEllen on the Bridport prize. I entered many years ago as was doing a creative writing class at the time. I don’t know what it says about me but the majority of people in that class were an odd bunch. The teacher wrote a lot of erotic fiction which definitely wasn’t a popular genre at the time! I was crimson with embarrassment about some of the class readings! And there was a woman who only ever wrote about her cats. Think Mr. Mittens big day out type of thing!
Anyeay she had loads published so there was evidently a market. Perhaps Sid could have his own series @REP22 😄.
Sorry your DD is unwell @WendyWagon i hope both she and you are ok and the book provides some peace and distraction.

Evening all.
Didnt sleep well so am happy for some sunshine which has lifted my spirits.
There are some great writers on this thread. I'm always happy to read the beautifully written updates. What a treat to read some more if @Carpetburnfollows her creative instincts! My primary school teacher enjoyed my short stories but that's where it ended. As creativeness goes it was clothes I loved. I loved drawing and designing them but I struggled with the patience to follow through and make them. I had some lovely drawings though and I always used to say I designed wrap around trousers before they were a thing in the 90s (does anyone else remember them?!).

I'm sorry your DD is unwell @WendyWagon. Is the book any good?

I have discovered the Merlin app today and now I know what a chiff chaff sounds like, and a nuthatch.

I do a lot of writing too. Mostly poetry, but I also write flash and short stories. I am working on an entry for Bridport too - their flash is only 250 words though, which is tighter than I like.

Morning all.
Hope everyone got through the long sunny weekend OK.
Sorry to hear about DD @WendyWagon - hope she gets some help today
I downloaded a birdsong app before the weekend @Lavrander but I never got chance to test it out before I came away - there is a bird I hear at home with a very repetitive call but I will have to wait to see what it is!

Good morning shipmates, Back into the routine now.
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Sorry to hear about your DD @WendyWagon - I hope all will be well.

I love to hear the birdsong; it's a treat for the soul. We used to have a blackbird in the locality that was a highly accomplish mimic. One of my neighbours had a very distinctive ring-tone that was very loud as the neighbour was quite elderly and deaf and very often in their back garden. The blackbird could - and frequently did - trill out a perfect rendition of the phone ringing. Impossible to tell from the original. It used to amuse my DDad no end. The neighbour would hurry in to answer the phone and shuffle out again cursing the unseen but highly vocal bird.

Good luck to everyone thinking about entering writing competitions 🤞- I was shortlisted for a few back in my misspent youth; got a few 'honourable mentions' but never any actual prize. I did win a pomegranate in a raffle once, so that makes up for it, hehe

Strength and courage. It will be OK. xx

Morning all.

Have managed to get an appointment for the DD later today. Better time spent on youth.

I’m at nine months AF. Am also on my second holiday without alcohol and once again it was hard at the beginning but I’m now into it and just order AF beer and a sprite with dinner.

It definitely gets easier but boy it’s still there and on my mind. I know I won’t crack but I would love to know when the point comes of actually not thinking about wine at all. I read a quote from Claire Pooley who is now ten years sober and she doesn’t think about wine at all anymore!

@friendlycat two years for me before I stopped thinking about wine.

Friday was my booze starter for six and that often goes by without me noticing.
Congrats on your success x

Thank you.