To get tipsy whilst kids are in bed asleep

[Una22]

Just looking for some advise, usually i will only have one, two glasses of wine max when kids are in bed. However, on the very rare occasion, me and my husband might have a bottle, if not two bottles of wine to share. I can tolerate a lot, however after a bottle I will feel tipsy. This is spread over 4-5, hours. I just read constantly how a lot of parents on here never get tipsy when the kids are in bed. We dont have anyone to have the kids so sometimes its nice just to get to the happy stage. I stop the moment I feel tipsy as I know I could react in an emergency. Is it wrong us both getting tipsy? I would never go beyong that stage. Just sometimes after a stressful week we on the very rare occasion to get a bit tipsy?

You’ll get people telling you you’re endangering your kids because in an emergency neither of you could drive, conveniently ignoring all those people who don’t have driving licences or cars.

I don’t suppose there is anything wrong but for me, it’s that emergency scenario. You can’t drive to the hospital if needed, you couldn’t react quickly enough to anything happening, what if one of the kids is ill in the night and you are drunk.
what about the following morning, can you get up ok to care for the kids? What about the kids hobbies, you could still be over the limit to drive them where they need to be.

But then I grew up in a house with parents with drink problems so I know first hand how utterly utterly shit it is for kids.

So are we wrong? Even if I had a glass if wine i wouldn't drive anyways. I would call a taxi or an ambulance in that case

I’m a recovering alcoholic and I don’t drink, but I don’t begrudge anyone a drink if it’s sensible. I know on MN apparently no one drinks around their children ever 🙄 but honestly, I’ve never known anyone to stay sober so that they can look after their children. Family BBQs, weddings, the village fete, bonfire night, even our dc’s schools both sell alcohol at performances. The carol service this year had a cash bar and all the parents were buying drinks!

Should you both be so wasted that you can’t get yourself to bed and you don’t know where you are? No, of course not. But the reality is that normal people have a few drinks both before putting their children to bed and after. Not me, because I don’t drink 🤣 but literally everyone I know.

Taxis and busses are of course out there but it’s the reaction times and being able to manage the needs of the kids. Lucky if you don’t get hangovers I suppose.

You can’t call an ambulance because you are too drunk for something that would need a lift, family & friends could help out but I’d be bloody pissed off at a call to take a sick child to medical care because the parents have been drinking.

When i say call an ambulance I was clearly stating if the child needed one, not for a lift .... obviously

This is one of those things where MN differs from real life. On here everyone could not possibly drink around their dc. IRL everyone gets drunk with their DC around.

Also .... I have clearly stated being tipsy on rare occasions. There is a difference between being tipsy and being drunk

This.

Does everyone get drunk with their children around?

I genuinely don’t get drunk with my kids around. We would also take it in turns if we were ever drinking but neither of us tend to bother.
It’s the ability to really look after them that makes us do this, like a trip to urgent care etc. We do have a disabled DS which maybe skews our perspective of what a responsible adult looks like.
I think it’s very much the circles you move in as to whether people drink a lot. My DDs school is in a very middle class area and it’s seen as totally normal to drink prosecco at kids parties etc.
I’m not a fan but each to their own.

Babies, I wouldn’t. Over twos, probably, as long as I wasn’t co-sleeping, and I had the means to get a taxi, in case of emergency.

Do they?

Are you certain you would be able to react appropriately in an emergency after drinking a bottle of wine each?

My mum was an alcoholic so my perception is probably skewed but I would absolutely never be tipsy around my children.

Don't be so literal. Everyone knows she doesn't mean everyone . But quite a lot do have a few drinks once their kids are asleep, once those kids are old enough to sleep through reliably, which is what OP asked about.

I have never been drunk around my children, so that poster's blanket statement of "everyone does it" was false.

If you feel that it's acceptable to drink a full bottle of wine around your young children, and you want to convince yourself that you would be perfectly capable of caring for them, then that's your choice.

Edited to add: I realise now that this was posted in alcohol support and you and the OP may be dealing with challenges that I am not. Your view of "normal" is probably different from mine.
As I said upthread my mother was an alcoholic. She believed she was fine after her wine. She was not.

I only posted because it came up on Active and caught my eye, not because i need support. The post you were replying to was very obviously hyperbole. OP says tipsy, not drunk, and is not doing it around her children.

I am sorry your mum was an alcoholic. You are probably right that your view is skewed by that experience.

The post I responded to said drunk. Specifically that "everyone gets drunk" around their children. I questioned it. You felt the need to step in on that, only you know why that triggered a defensive response in you.

And I don't need your faux concerns regarding my childhood experience of a mother who normalised drinking just like you are.

Why have you posted in alcohol support? That makes it seem like you have an alcohol problem which is very different to getting tipsy occasionally.

Its the only subject I could find related to alcohol. As stated in the post, I wanted views. Thanks

Jesus Christ, get a grip

I have been on here for years and I don't believe all.the people who have children and never more than one drink so they can drive in an emergency.
Fair enough to make a life choice to be teetotal but that is no the case for 99% of people I know.
Me and the vast majority of my friends had our children far away from our families, therefore had no regular babysitting so we had a drink at home.

i think it’s totally fine but we’re past the really young stage and we don’t drive anyway.

I don’t drive so it wouldn’t matter if I had had a glass
of Wine or not I’d still need a taxi/ ambulance/ family member- not everyone drives. I don’t get drunk when solely in charge but yes I have got tipsy
or had one or two drinks. Don’t worry and enjoy your wine - happy new year