Help me out here - am I being controlling and unreasonable?
My DH has always had a fairly insatiable appetite for alcohol. He’s always liked a good drink - I probably didn’t notice it for a long time.
He’s always the one throwing it back, gulping the beer, he can never just enjoy a drink. It always has to be two or three or four, he’s always first finished, and looking for the next one. If I have one glass of wine, he’s always finished a pint before I’m even halfway through and on to ordering his next pint. He also gets a bit arsey at times and contrary when he’s drinking. Nothing significant but annoying.
He doesn’t eat very well - he would live on crap if he could. Couldn’t tell you the last time he ate a bit of fruit. Never eats breakfast, often doesn’t even have lunch (his work is really busy through the day and he rarely gets to stop for food - that’s another story). He would probably drink every night of the week if he could.
Last year, I caught him sneaking in bottles of whisky and he was drinking them when I went to bed at night. (His mother was an alcoholic so it does run in the family.)
Last year, he had a number of vacant episodes which were really scary for me - he wasn’t making sense, wouldn’t reply to me talking to him, he didn’t really remember them and wouldn’t go to the doc afterwards. I spoke to him at the time about my concerns this was booze related.
Over Christmas, he’s been drinking beer each night. Two, three, four beers, plus a couple of whiskies the last three nights - no one else is drinking, though I did have a couple of drinks last night at the end of the night after Christmas dinner.
I didn’t feel great today so went to bed for a bit. Woke up at 5 and he’s already on the beer, then he had another, then I said to him I didn’t think he needed anymore and he’s in a total huff.
I don’t want to be controlling but I also don’t think he needs to be drinking if no one else is, plus his history of enjoying it far too much - also worried hugely about his vacant episodes.
I’ve tried to talk to him many, many times about it and told him how much it worries me. He seems to hear what I’m saying but carries on regardless.
Am I the one BU here or is it reasonable that I am concerned and think he needs to stop or cut it back?