I hate my husband drunk

[Adhdmumontheedge]

Me and my husband have been together for almost 14 years, I got pregnant with my daughter a year in, I loved to party with him until I found out I was having her. His party did not stop, not coming home till stupid times, not being able to string a sentence together, I couldn’t get hold of him, he would sleep walk, pee the bed, the stress he caused was unbelievable, I questioned our relation ship so much! And I want to just defend him that he is the best daddy, and the best husband when sober! 110%
He stopped going out so often but would buy a beer or 3 everyday. I could be counting pennies for a pint of milk but he would always find money to have beers.
countless discussions about his drinking, countless fall outs and sleepless nights riddled with anxiety that he would either hurt himself from falling over drunk or that I would wake up swimming in his pee.
He slurs to the point you can’t understand him, he has this stupid grin that I hate sooo much! He’s embarrassing, he can’t hold his alcohol, but he can’t stop. There’s no line for him. I’ve never wanted to control his drinking, I’ve just asked him to be more considerate, plan nights out instead of random unexpected ones so that I can prepare myself and my home better. But it never happens. He’s stopped buying beer to come home with as often but he still goes through phases, and if I had known this would be what I was living with 14 years later I would have ran for miles. But the problem is, I love him so much, and he loves me, he’s almost perfect apart from the booze. I’m starting to resent it, I hate it.

I feel your pain. Both DH and I were heavy drinkers. I've now been teetotal nearly 10 years partly because it was clear he was never going to compromise round drinking and one of us had to be responsible re kids. I can't stand talking to him/ seeing him talk to others when he's drunk. I find it mortifying - he rambles, he repeats himself, he misses point of conversation, it's excruciating. He also does the stupid grin.

My kids are now late teens and recognise he drinks more than others and call him on it. I know loads of people will be along, recommend Al-Anon and LTB but I don't think it's that simple if it's just annoying drunk (rather than abusive or spending all the family money drunk in which case LTB). I did worry about the kids - what kind of example for them that it's acceptable to be like this. And it does make him unpredictable at times, which I generally shield them from which makes me feel shitty.

He has made a couple of half hearted attempts to cut down/ stop. So it does bother him too. He's recently discovered, started himself on Sinclair method so this may be the magic bullet.

You say he’s almost perfect from the booze that seems to be a very big but, be prepared for him to die young, I’d start distancing myself now. If he refuses to stop and can’t handle his booze I really would think long and hard about the situation. Your children will begin to distance themselves if he is that much of an embarrassment and I can’t say I’d blame them. There’s a lack of respect for you here, is it worth it really?