Why can't I just be normal?

[CinnamonSwirlLatte]

I'd love to be one of these people who can have a couple of glasses of wine with a friend when they fancy it and not become addicted. But no, I was drinking a bottle of wine a night for a good couple of years until August this year when I found out I was pregnant.

I'd love to be able to have a drink to celebrate when the baby is here. But the reality is that I can't, can I?

It's shit.

I dont think you can, no. I think that would be a slippery slope. That's okay though! I dont drink really through choice and I never feel like I'm missing out.

Thank you. I think you're right x

This is one of those moments that makes you think about why it's so important to you that you have a drink to wet the baby's head. What's the actual connection between the birth of a child and consuming a drug? Would you think "I've given birth so now I can have a line of coke"? Would alcohol, coke or heroin make having a fresh new squidgy baby better in some way? Is it that one directly requires the other, or is it more that it's a socially acceptable excuse to drink again?

I'm not having a go. I used to be a smoker and every now and then my mind wanders to all sorts of situations where I find myself thinking "...well if that happened then I'd go and buy some cigarettes". But that's just the remnants of the addiction talking, trying to find reasons to justify me getting that nicotine hit again. Yes it's shit but it's just your brain playing tricks with you to get the chemical it's been trained to want. You'll regret having that drink way more than you'll regret not having it.

It’s a slippery slope from there as your PP hormones will be all over the place. I don’t know if it’s your first, or if you have history of PPD, but even baby blues are super common. If alcohol was your way of relaxing, or passing time, whatever the motive - add hormones and it’s bound to be an explosive combo. Good luck OP, you can do this x

Addiction is used to cover up something; loneliness, sadness, grief, despair, boredom. The key is finding out what emotion you are struggling to face and then facing it head on, a good therapist can help you.

It's not really about wetting the baby's head. More of "I'll be able to drink then..." but no, I definitely don't want to get caught up in it again

7th baby and yes I have had elements of PPD, depending on how abusive my ex partner was after the birth :(

I didn't think about the mix of alcohol and hormones though... that is a very good point, thank you!

I was seeing a therapist but have stopped (like I've stopped doing everything) because I have severe sickness at the minute.

My parents are/were alcoholics and my life has been one trauma after another so alcohol was a way of relaxing, switching off, having something to look forward to and not having to care about all my problems for a few hours.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Try and reframe your thinking a bit. You are normal. It’s poisoning oneself with alcohol that is abnormal.

You’ve done this for your baby which is a great thing so why not keep it going. A sober and present mum will be the best thing you can give them. My 2 were 12 and 15 before I stopped. You can be better x

Of course I stopped in pregnancy!!

Thank you. I have several older children too and I want to be more present for them x