Am I an alcoholic ?

[Gina45]

I drink à bottle of wine 4/5 nights a week. I’ve beeen going through a terrible time and I look forward to relaxing in the evening with a drink. I’m scared though that I could be an alcoholic

A bottle of wine a night is a lot, especially Italy 4 or 5 nights a week.

If you’re going through a terrible time I understand needing that crutch. Do you want to talk about it? Could you cut down? Maybe half a bottle a night over 4 nights to start.

The question that you should be asking yourself is would you feel better if you didn't? It is a lot but there are also loads of people doing the same that wouldn't label themselves as alcoholic but are absolutely alcohol dependent which is one and the same really if you think about it. You might never wake up and drink mouthwash but if you're using alcohol to numb a feeling and that in itself is impacting your health, sleep, mental wellbeing then it makes sense to consider whether you want it in your life.. label or no.

I guess it's a bit more than you're meant to have. But to me most alcoholics do drink more than that. It's really about how it's affecting your life, your work, your relationships.

Has anyone said they don't like your behaviour when drinking? Have you done or said regrettable things? Does it stop you working or having hobbies or doing life admin?

I was drinking about the same amount as you until I stopped. Cutting down didn't work for me (but it might for you). I didn't have any sort of physical dependency as far as I know, but I was definitely using it as a crutch and a way of ignoring, or forgetting about, difficult things in my life.

I'm much happier having stopped, even though there are still difficult things in my life! I'd say try it. It took me a few goes before it stuck for good, but it's been life-changing for me. As pp says, ignore the label, it's irrelevant; are you happy drinking that much? If not, what do you want to do about it?

Laura Mcowen in The Luckiest Club says this (which I think nails it)

“Am I an alcoholic? is the wrong question. It’s the question we’ve been socialized to ask, the question I asked myself for a long time, and the question that shows up in my in-box all the time, but it’s the wrong damn question.

If believing you’re an alcoholic feels true, if it elevates your life by furthering you on the path to betterment and healing, believe it. If it doesn’t, throw it away.

The typical question is, Is this bad enough for me to have to change? The question we should be asking is, Is this good enough for me to stay the same? And the real question underneath it all is, Am I free?”

Not quite. But you need to stop this before it gets any worse.

A bottle of wine in one go is a binge. You need to seriously reduce how much you drink (stop completely if you can’t) and find healthier ways to relax.