I stopped binge drinking, but started up again

[Healingfrom]

Anyone been here? There is no conceivable reason, other than addiction, as to why I have started to drink again. I am able to recognise that I am an alcoholic, just not in the text book sense.

I am really worried about my health, finances, the shame it has brought me and the possible effects on those closest to me.

I want to crawl into ball, lie here and just hope it (the addiction) goes away.

What can I do to make sure I don't drink...stop drinking? As I sit here typing this, I am craving alcohol. I was doing so well. Cravings had gone. Finances recovering. 😔

I think most addicts have ups and downs, and owning the fact that you're addicted is a huge first step. Now you need to quit again. You've done it before. You know you'll feel better. You know your finances will be better.

A couple of ideas that might help (?)

• Identify the time when you usually drink. Find something else to do instead. It can be a nice mocktail. It can be something else unrelated.
• Don't keep alcohol in your home
• When you feel the temptation to buy alcohol, set aside the money you'd have spent. At the end of the month, look at that money and treat yourself to something nice.

Thank you @Maxorias I know that I can quit again. Yesterday I drank because it was Friday and I had had a tough week and admittedly was wanting the dopamine hit. Earlier on in the week I drank because I received some life changing news. I also think it is because of working through ongoing healing from trauma and some life disappointments. I feel life is moving so quickly and I cannot make it slow down so I can make more meaningful, intentional change.

I may look at using the money I would have spent to buy myself a new pair of shoes.. or for sinking funds for birthdays and Christmas.

The anxiety which comes with a hangover is so unpleasant. That in itself makes me want to permanently quit. The anxiety is usually over the way I handled something when under the influence, money or health.

I have in the past bought chocolate instead when I've been tempted to stop at the shops on my way home from work to buy alcohol. I just forget about doing that instead for some reason! I never keep alcohol at home. I just buy when I feel the urge to drink.

Maybe I could find a way to remind myself of my reasons for quitting and what to do its place. I desperately need to beat the all consuming cravings by putting in place a once and for all plan to quit. Your advice to save up the money instead to treat myself is a good place to start.

How long had you been sober for before you caved ?

You're already doing better than my sibling who won't admit they have a problem !
You definitely need a plan for when the cravings hit. When I couldn't drink (health reasons), and my friends were having something, I'd make myself freshly pressed juice and mix different fruits to make it fancier. Is that something that might work for you ? Also : go on a walk, play video games, or any hobby that you always wanted to do and never had time for.

Alcohol is an anxiety inducer so it can only make you feel worse in the long run m, especially if you also feel anxiety for other reasons. But I know that in the moment it can feel like a faraway consequence.

Would it help to focus on making your life better, not just quitting alcohol ? There was a study about something unrelated but it involved asking children to not eat a candy. The children who succeeded were the ones who distracted themselves with other things, those who kept staring at the candy usually ended up eating it. So if you focus on, I dunno, cooking healthy meals, putting on some nice music or documentaries while you do it, redecorate your home, etc, that can only help you feel better overall.

I sympathize, it's a hard place to be in. But alcohol will take everything from you if you let it. You can do this !

Would it help you to count the days (you don't drink) and 'not want to have to start again'. It helps me with 'habits I do want to stick to' but once I've screwed it up I find it hard to start again.

Ask yourself did drinking actually help in either situation?? (Sorry about your bad news!!)

you CAN do this 🫶🏻

About 3 - 4 weeks at a time. Sometimes 6 weeks.

Have a look at smart recovery. They are an evidence based recovery group focused on strategies for getting sober and maintaining sobriety. There are regular online meetings and you can just listen in if you prefer.

@Healingfrom ok, so that's great. You know you can go af for a good length of time.
You mentioned revisiting the reasons you gave up. I think this is a good idea. Get your pen n paper out, or your preferred method of recording. Write down why you wanted to give up and the benefits you saw, and felt, during your time af.
Keep it handy.
You could consider doing the Annie Grace 30 day challenge - it's free for first timers, and is a good springboard.
Overall I would say one day at a time, use support available ( join a thread on here. I check in daily on mine).
I saw myself caving last night but I managed to resist. I did this my reminding myself that like a pp said, it doesn't help us, it adds nothing - we just think it does. Basically, it lies to us.
You can do it. It's not easy but I do think it's worth it 💪

Drinking hasn't really helped in any situation. Never does and it never will. I need to accept that.

Good idea to count the days @AutumnCosy2025 Perhaps it would help me more if I print off some sort of tracker or a calendar to mark off days sober and money saved and for sticking with habits I want to keep.
Also @Maxorias suggestion to have a fancy mocktail or freshly pressed juice when socialising. I do enjoy a wardrobe re-edit and a bit of home decor. Tomorrow I hope to be feeling better, so will do a little change around and make a wholesome dinner from scratch. Maybe also a DIY mani and pedicure. A walk or movie with family. I plan on visiting a friend I haven't seen in a while, one afternoon next week. I need to consciously keep these healthy habits running.

I've had a friend message this afternoon asking if I'd fancy a night out with them tonight to a live gig. I've had to turn that down and do a raincheck due to feeling pants and not wanting the temptation to drink right there in front of me.

Thank you all, for your wise words of support and understanding 🙏💐 x

It's a good idea to not go to the gig. You can always go when you're feeling stronger.
You've got some good plans in place - home decor, self - care, etc.
Write a list ( can you tell I journal a lot !). When you're feeling bored / antsy ( my biggest triggers), you can refer to it and choose one.
Do you like af drinks?
I love an af perroni with lime cordial, an af kopparberg and 0% freixenet - I used to scoff at af drinks but they've helped me immensely this time. Though I see myself relying on them more in summer.
And crodino and fever tree blood orange - gorgeous and will be great next summer.

My life was spiralling out of control through alcohol.

I finally admitted to myself - I was an alcoholic.

I joined an online AA group based in the USA called Zoo Crew22, since my first meeting, I am 562 days sober - all achieved one day at a time.

I wish you well. ❤️

My husband has paid for a coach with reframe ! He has a weekly call - he’s finding it very useful

he’s joined the gym and is gonna try some classes see it there’s any he enjoys and try and take some evenings out at those instead of just having a drink at home or meeting someone at something that will involve drinking.

we have little kids and home in the evenings is super stressful and he was drinking as a coping mechanism! So we’ve decided 2 evenings away from the house mid week each to have a break from the chaos is helpful

hes realised he has very little hobbies or interests outside the home these days and his world has become small and drinking felt like he was “having fun / or enjoying himself!!”

@DonutsWin congratulations on your 562 days - that's inspirational to me.
I think your key words are one day at a time.
This is my longest stint yet ( 140 days). I've done it by taking that approach. So many times I tried, but thinking too far ahead sort of panicked me, and I caved.
Just for today, I won't drink 💪

Look up naltrexone . I haven’t used it personally but I have a family member that has and it has changed her life . High functioning alcoholic over 25 years . Hope it helps .

@Fupoffyagrasshole that's great - and I didn't even know you could pay for a coach via reframe. I'll look into that, thanks.
Yes, once you start drinking your world does become small. I drank for fun, too. Though it was anything but !!
Lovely to read how you're helping each other 😍

@Goandygo- I tried so many times to give up alcohol over the years. But I would return to drinking harder - higher ABV, drinking faster and not caring what I drank. I would drink it straight from the bottle in my desperation to get it in my body.

There is an app called ‘Drinkless’ (free), where I tracked my alcohol intake, and another great (free) app, “Everything AA”.

In the last eight days in March/April 2024 I was drinking a bottle of spirits a day plus wine and beer. Crazy, I WFH and planned my own diary, so I would pace my drinking through the day.

The perception of an alcoholic is a homeless wino sat on a park bench. I am a board level executive of a multinational with all the status and trappings of wealth and success - houses, cars, holidays, etc.

Since I joined my group, I have not picked up. It takes effort, and I have to remind myself through a structured daily routine of prayer, mediation and meetings. It has saved my marriage and my relationship with my primary school aged children. Only on sober reflection, do I realise how I hurt people who I loved, alcohol numbed me with self-centred ego.

Every morning now, I wake with mindset of an alcoholic with success defined to me as going to bed sober.

I wish you all the best in your journey, because you are worth it.
🙏❤️

@DonutsWin inspirational post. I also aim to get to bed sober, I get the most deeply satisfying feeling when I climb onto bed with my wits about me, knowing I'll wake up fresh, knowing what I did the day before.
OP it sounds like you have great motivation not to drink,one day at a time.Dont get demotivated that you slipped up.Keep going.

@Healingfrom

Drinking hasn't really helped in any situation. Never does and it never will

can you laminate a little card with that on to put with your debit.credit card (or a make a digital card to put in your wallet if you use your phone ( so it's there as a reminder if you get close to buying alcohol?

giving the gig a swerve was a wise move. Was/Is it a friend you could confide in??

lots of other good plans xx. Keep posting!

you don't need 'good luck', you have the strength to do this. Start counting the days 🤗

The only thing that worked for me was listening to an audiobook (Annie grace this naked mind) before that I had tried to stop loads of times

Im 5 years sober OP. The thing that keeps me going is being 'addicted' to my new sobriety and the dopamine hit i get from thinking about the proud (smug 😆) feeling i get when I think about how well im doing - especially on Saturday and Sunday mornings. I often go a long walk and focus on how my weekend mornings used to feel and how I would spend my day hungover, I think about how I used to be so so anxious and now I feel fresh and content.

When stressful things happen I think to myself 'wow this would be a hundred times more stressful if I was still using alcohol as a crutch, I would be either hungover and riddled with so much anxiety about this stressful thing happening' or drunk and numbing myself temporarily while ruining my health - instead when im anxious i work through it, coming up with solutions or if there aren't any then distracting myself with things that actually help me - walking, praying, self care etc

Get into sober podcasts/videos/literature and become addicted to this amazing life style of sobriety, its a big adjustment and I still have wobbles but its the best thing ive ever done

@Coffeeblanketandabookplz I love your post. I had an extremely dysfunctional relationship with wine for decades. I never ever thought I could live a life without it.
I had to change my mindset. It wasn't even fun anymore - the joy I get waking up refreshed and ready to start the day is brilliant. To think I spent so many days hungover, feeling sick, headache, ashamed. It just wasn't worth it.
I always tell myself It Lied To Me - that keeps me on the straight n narrow.

Wine was my problem as well and I eventually felt very dependant on it, every single evening. I was riddled with daily anxiety and quite depressed. Ive never been happier mental health wise now despite having had some very very hard years with family problems etc. But I always remind myself that at least ive got through everything everything in the raw and without numbing myself! Its such a good feeling x