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Original poster

I still feel so guilty

9 replies

Sammyantha01 · 15/10/2025 05:42

I went out drinking with a friend of mine when my daughter was 4 months old to a gig. I ended up bumping into some people I knew from years ago. One thing lead to another and because I wasn’t used to drinking I lost all track of time and got in at 4am. I’m wide awake thinking about it and my daughter is now two. I just don’t know how to let go of the guilt I feel doing that when she was so little. I didn’t even particularly like the people I bumped into, just got led astray. I feel that people here will be honest and judge me but it can’t be worse than the way I feel about it. My husband always tells me not to worry, it’s not like I’ve done it every weekend! But I always get so paranoid that I’ve done something bad towards him…like had an affair I’ve never had! I suppose I’m just ranting because of my insomnia but any advice (or judgement) is welcomed

OP posts:
Bobnobob · 15/10/2025 05:45

Sammyantha01 · 15/10/2025 05:42

I went out drinking with a friend of mine when my daughter was 4 months old to a gig. I ended up bumping into some people I knew from years ago. One thing lead to another and because I wasn’t used to drinking I lost all track of time and got in at 4am. I’m wide awake thinking about it and my daughter is now two. I just don’t know how to let go of the guilt I feel doing that when she was so little. I didn’t even particularly like the people I bumped into, just got led astray. I feel that people here will be honest and judge me but it can’t be worse than the way I feel about it. My husband always tells me not to worry, it’s not like I’ve done it every weekend! But I always get so paranoid that I’ve done something bad towards him…like had an affair I’ve never had! I suppose I’m just ranting because of my insomnia but any advice (or judgement) is welcomed

What now? You had one wild night out when your daughter was a baby and you still feel guilty? Why? Was she left alone? Was she in your sole care the next day and you couldn’t look after her properly? Were you unable to feed her?

Original poster
Sammyantha01 · 15/10/2025 06:36

Bobnobob · 15/10/2025 05:45

What now? You had one wild night out when your daughter was a baby and you still feel guilty? Why? Was she left alone? Was she in your sole care the next day and you couldn’t look after her properly? Were you unable to feed her?

Show quote history

i fed her and had her in the bassinet next to me and we napped for a few hours. My husband always says that she would have cried if she needed me. I don’t know why I hold on to the guilt so much. Maybe because I got so drunk with people I couldn’t care less about ans stayed out with them and didn’t go home like I should have done. I haven’t got an off switch sadly

OP posts:
Rumpledandcrumpled · 15/10/2025 06:48

Is this the only thing you ruminate on, as this is quite unhealthy, it’s perfectly normal to have nights out when a parent, if someone else is caring for the child. If you often have obsessive thoughts msybe worth seeing a gp.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 15/10/2025 08:42

Omg, there is so much "mothers guilt" ahead of you i would let this one go 😂

ComfortFoodCafe · 15/10/2025 08:48

Op, kindly.. let this go. You have more important mothers guilt than this to come!

Starlight1984 · 15/10/2025 10:30

You had one night out two years ago when your baby was home safe with your husband and you're still thinking about it now?!

Original poster
Sammyantha01 · 15/10/2025 11:46

Rumpledandcrumpled · 15/10/2025 06:48

Is this the only thing you ruminate on, as this is quite unhealthy, it’s perfectly normal to have nights out when a parent, if someone else is caring for the child. If you often have obsessive thoughts msybe worth seeing a gp.

I have seen my GP. I had lots of intrusive thoughts after pregnancy from PND.
thanks everyone for your comments. Maybe I just feel bad because I went out and maybe made a fool of myself in front of people I used to know. I convinced myself I had had an affair too - which I haven’t! My husband even said if you did do anything you’re forgiven, I always convince myself I’ve done something wrong when I’ve been drinking even if I haven’t. I’ve not drank as heavily for a long time now…the anxiety the day after is the worst, and lasts for 2 years apparently 🤦🏻‍♀️
I have had several friends tell me the mum guilt intensifies over the years so I need to give myself a break!!!

OP posts:
Rumpledandcrumpled · 15/10/2025 15:30

Sammyantha01 · 15/10/2025 11:46

I have seen my GP. I had lots of intrusive thoughts after pregnancy from PND.
thanks everyone for your comments. Maybe I just feel bad because I went out and maybe made a fool of myself in front of people I used to know. I convinced myself I had had an affair too - which I haven’t! My husband even said if you did do anything you’re forgiven, I always convince myself I’ve done something wrong when I’ve been drinking even if I haven’t. I’ve not drank as heavily for a long time now…the anxiety the day after is the worst, and lasts for 2 years apparently 🤦🏻‍♀️
I have had several friends tell me the mum guilt intensifies over the years so I need to give myself a break!!!

Show quote history

Oh thinking you’ve had an affair when you haven’t and carrying guilt for a night out for years is well out with the realms of healthy thought. I would maybe make an appt to see your doctor again, good luck op, you will get healthy again, for you and your families sake, you just need to seek that help x

Original poster
Sammyantha01 · 16/10/2025 16:05

Rumpledandcrumpled · 15/10/2025 15:30

Oh thinking you’ve had an affair when you haven’t and carrying guilt for a night out for years is well out with the realms of healthy thought. I would maybe make an appt to see your doctor again, good luck op, you will get healthy again, for you and your families sake, you just need to seek that help x

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Thank you for your understanding. I’ve decided to book some private therapy so I can have a chat to someone.

OP posts:
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