DH trying to sabotage me.

[Bookaholic73]

I gave up alcohol 3 months ago after several years of thinking I had a real problem with it and half assing moderation a few times.

I was drinking a bottle of wine most nights, and was starting to affect me. So I finally got some support and quit.

It’s been a struggle sometimes, but I have been really happy with not drinking.

The problem is my husband. He keeps asking if I want a bottle of wine when he goes to the shops, or joking that he will buy me wine for Christmas. It was recently my birthday and he ‘surprised’ me with a bottle of wine. My favourite wine, the one I really struggled not to drink the most when I was quitting.

I have spoken to him about how this bothers me several times, but all I get is ‘it’s just a joke’ or ‘I thought you’d like it’.

Why on earth does he want me to drink?

Does he need you to be drinking when he has one? Is his enjoyment of drinking contingent on you have one as well? Does he feel it therefore prevents his enjoyment of it - even though he might only drink twice a month?

If he does he’s being unreasonable but sounds codependent. V difficult to stop in a person because they can’t see your needs only their own. But control you in order for their own needs to be met.

Good that you’re pushing back. Show him this thread!