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Alcohol support

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Advice about alcoholic friend

8 replies

codependantmother · 03/10/2025 11:06

Don’t want to give too much detail but my friend who’s is married and has three kids is an alcoholic. As far as I know, going on 2 years. Now drinking 3 bottles of wine a night and has admitted to another family member she is self harming and has suicidal thoughts. Lives far away from my so only know due to her drunken behaviour on weekend away and phone calls where she is slurring her words early evening. Other people close to her have dealt with horrific situations including her drink driving with kids/ passed out during the day when kids are there and also having to get people to collect kids from school because she’s too drunk. We have confronted her husband but he is useless. He is weak and can’t stand up to her. Everytime she has an epidode he opens up but also suspect he is a functioning alcoholic so isn’t prepared to quit drinking with her.

there was a serious incident this weekend in front of her children where she was so drunk she couldn’t collect kids so another friend had to intervene only to find her pissed at 2pm in day and crying to 11 year old daughter.

she has reached out for help but has a two week wait for apt. The friend escalated it to myself and another friend and husband admitted initially that life is hell with her and he feels he has nowhere to turn but within one day is angry it was escalated.

im so worried about kids and next step is to report and herself and husband have cut out communication now she’s feeling a little bit better. Where do we go from here? Kids are priority but torn between reporting and her reaction.

OP posts:
codependantmother · 03/10/2025 11:07

We only know of the incidences because we fell upon them, god knows what the kids have been through as I’d imagine this is a weekly occasion but as husband won’t communicate with us and is angry with us we can’t be sure how bad it is.

OP posts:
KK1983 · 03/10/2025 12:34

You have every right to worry about your friend, more so the kids. When you say she lives far away, how far? If it was me and it was possible, I'd go visit her for the day/night and organise some kind of intervention with her family and her friends that live close. This sounds incredibly dangerous for her poor kids let alone herself.

Burningbud1981 · 03/10/2025 12:35

Call social services in her area. The children are at risk

SevenHundredandFortyThreeThree · 03/10/2025 12:38

This is one for social services- in fact they may have already been contacted by the school if she is missing pick ups due to drinking.

TwilightAb · 03/10/2025 12:42

The priority is to safeguard the children so please contact her local children services. Both parents are not able to protect those children and someone needs to. They will then be able to encourage her to get the help she needs. It's ultimately up to her whether she engages with the help but regardless the children need support and now.

rose69 · 03/10/2025 15:13

Safeguard the children. Either via the school or report to social services. It will help her in the long run too but she has a lot of work to do.

lunaswand · 03/10/2025 15:35

this is so sad but really social services should be contacted

serene12 · 03/10/2025 16:09

Agree with other posters, the children need to be safeguarded...their welfare is paramount. You can contact social services, the school or NSPCC anonymously.

Your friend sounds very ill, as she's drinking huge amounts of alcohol. Alcoholism is a disease, but alcoholics often minimise are very manipulative.
Only your friend can choose to seek recovery. However family/friends can choose to seek support from Al-Anon.

The 3 C's of addiction are
You didn't CAUSE it
You cannot CONTROL it
You cannot CURE it

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