Sober October Challenge

[KK1983]

Good afternoon 😊

As the title suggests, I have decided to give 'Sober October' my all and go alcohol free for 31 days. This challenge might be a walk in the park for some but this is going to be HUGE for me. In the past 12yrs, I can't even remember the last time I have even gone a week sober, let alone a month!

So, I am a daily drinker. I have 1-2 bottles per day, sometimes more over the weekend. I have a successful job and a beautiful life but my drinking is becoming more of an issue that I ever thought it would be. I think about it more than I want, plan days around it and spend far too much money on it. Alcoholism runs in my family so i'm aware of the signs which is why I need to get a grip asap. I want to be able to moderate.

If you saw me in the street you'd look at me and think I have my shit together. I have the house, the kids, the marriage, the job - the lot! Drinking became a friend when I had none and when I was lonely after my daughter was born and my husband worked nights. Now drinking feels part of my personality, people know me as someone who loves a drink, the life and soul and I used to love that but now, I'm bored of myself.

I have tried to go sober several times but I get to day 4 and give in after finding any tiny excuse to reward myself. Night 1 always feels a bit rough. I role around the bed for hours on end and get a little anxious but nothing too bad. Day 2 I feel hungover without the fun the night before. Day 3 I cry a lot and become quite irritated. Day 4 - I quit! Not this time though, I NEED to do this and I WILL do this.

To help me along the way I have started taking the following vitamins:

• Vitamin B Complex high strength
• Live friendly gut bacteria
• Vitamin B1 500mg x2
• Iron
• Biotin & Zinc
• Vitamin D & K2

Can any recommend anything else or have any tips to help me along the way?

Thank you for taking the time to read this,
Kate x

I was drinking wine about 5 nights a week, often a bottle. I've reduced to about 1X per week and really enjoying it.
2 things I read helped and stuck with me;

1. Trying to reframe my relationship with it, so I don't see it as a 'treat', so instead thinking why would I want to celebrate the end of my busy, productive day by spending £8 on poisoning myself? So that next day I feel crap, puffy faced and annoyed with myself? How is that nice for me? I've also been orientating my anger towards the aclohol industry, thinking 'F* you', I'm sick of giving you my money to harm myself!!!

1. I read that it's daft to think you can go from drinking quite a bit to nothing overnight. You wouldn't think you could suddenly run a marathon if you don't really run would you? You would need to train, practice, gradually get better. Not drinking takes training and practice, the more you do it, the easier it gets, and the more you notice the benefits and less you want it. Every day you don't, you're getting better at it.

Been on with this approach about 6 weeks and it's working for me. I've drunk on social occasions and now notice more clearly how rough and down it makes me feel. I look loads better too, which is a bonus (in the menopausal phase!)

urgh. I’ve totally lept off the wagon 😭.

i was feeling great, all fine, no problem, just a regular Wednesday….then got offered a glass of wine at dinner and I wasn't prepared (a family member unexpectedly turned up). I didn’t have an AF beer or even a fizzy water and I was slightly buzzing from them being there so I said ‘yes!’. All fine except I then went out to the kitchen later and poured myself a big g&t and now I’m drinking a glass of wine after the kids are in bed. And I’m eating crisps. Bollocks.

@nowinetimeforme ahh I feel ya! I was sat there on Thursday berating myself for drinking, while still drinking. Still loads down on units this month, tomorrow is a new day.

I know I know, I’m not disappointed I drank. I’m disappointed I didn’t drink like a normal person ☹️

We wouldn't be needing a support thread if we could drink like normal people. When I ran out of wine the other night I had Pimm's with tonic water 🤮 I'd love to be able to have a glass and not think, waheyyyyyy but unfortunately the breaks are off at that point. I find it very hard to stop.

Well done!

Try not to be, it doesn’t help. It’s more likely to make you try to find solace Olaf the bottom of a bottle.

I massively fell off 10 days ago after a huge row. And as usual, I tried to numb it all out.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Ha, yeah good point. I didn’t have a personality transplant in October… so here I am. I’m so grateful for this thread though ❤️

You’re right. Thank you ❤️

Hi @JasmineTea11- you’ve pretty much summed up where I am at too with the ‘journey’. I sleep like shit after one drink now, and just feel so out of sorts the next day I feel less and less like it’s worth it. That said, I’m still not quite at the stage of thinking I’ll be fully sober - but sober for today feels good enough. It’s taken months to get to the stage where I’ve only had a couple of drinks in October. I do all the things the lovely folk describe here, and will probably do them all again!

Today is always a new day folk. ❤️

Hey guys,
Hope you're all ok. Try not to beat yourselves up over drinking, it's bloody hard but you're doing better than you probably think you are. New habits aren't made overnight, it takes a lot of time.

@needastrongoneagain I like that - "Sober for today feels good enough"

Greetings from Hell (aka Wimpole)

Im afraid Mr Bones talked me into a low alcohol mulled wine because its flipping arctic here

Hi, everyone!
Just bumbling along here, desperate for half-term to arrive (I’m a teacher and a parent).
I think I’m going to allow myself to have a drink or two on Saturday as we’re going away for the night to celebrate our wedding anniversary (belated celebration). I’m going to have to be careful not to overdo it, though. I always sleep badly in hotels and it’ll be even worse if I’ve had too much to drink. Luckily, the clocks changing will give me an extra hour in bed! 😂

Happy anniversary. I hope you have a lovely time.

Hi all, been quiet cause I flew off the wagon 🙄. Disappointed in myself. Got a present of a nice bottle of wine on Wednesday so had a glass that night. Now it did take me almost 2 hrs to drink the glass. Went to bed then. Had an event last night, had another glass with a friend before we went, then 3 g&t's while out. I poured the last glass of wine from the bottle when I got home but had a migraine so most went down the sink. Also thinking, the migraine was down to the red wine. Had turned into a white wine girl for months...

Today is a new day - and I bet you’ve drunk way less over the past 24 days than you usually would have.

Just keep going.

@Fiftyandme, big time, ive had 3 days of drinks this month as opposed to a bottle of wine min a night. Like everything, we forget about the positives and focus on the negatives. Thank you

Oh i love a mulled wine, makes me feel so festive

Ahh that sounds lovely, have the best time and enjoy the break. I love staying in hotels and getting room service in bed haha

You opened a bottle of wine and only had one glass - that's great control right there!

Morning Sober Octoberists

Happy weekend. What’s everyone got planned? I’m off to Portsmouth to celebrate a belated Diwali with friends.

I'm just coming back from a dog walk and then I'm off to London for a very posh wedding... Excited to see how the other half lives! Going to try and stay sober as my mother has been particularly nasty this week and I don't want to drunkenly bore people with tales of her! Enjoy the Diwali celebrations, that sounds fun!

Morning!!

@Fiftyandme That sounds fun - enjoy! x

@Springadorable Sorry to hear that, hope you're ok. Sounds like this wedding has come at the right time and will hopefully cheer you up. Always here if you need to chat. I love a good wedding! Enjoy xx

I'm working today, hoping a wedding reception which is always lovely. Already looking forward to getting home and cost in my pj's with a take away.

Have a great Saturday everyone x

Afternoon.

Hope you enjoy the wedding @Springadorable and I hope things aren’t too tricky re the family. Honestly, bloody families sometimes..

Enjoy the Diwali celebrations @Fiftyandme

Onwards and upwards @dumplinggirl this is a journey and not a destination, as some cheesy podcast might say! Hope the migraine has subsided.

Enjoy the anniversary @CosyAutumn and half term!

Hope you get the wedding reception @KK1983. It’s definitely the weather for PJ’s as soon as you get in the house. Enjoy the takeout. Hadn’t really realised I’d written that about being sober that day being good enough but I’m going to use that little nugget! 🤣

Still plodding along here. The worst time for me is still around 5pm until we eat at around 7pm ish. I strongly associate cooking with having a glass of wine. Some days I don’t even think about it, which is such a huge step forward as I’d pour a glass daily whether I wanted it or not or even thinking about it. Other days like yesterday I nearly caved. Tried to remind myself it wasn’t the wine that was the thing I wanted, more what it represents - being at home, relaxing, forgetting the stress of the day. These things are all there without pouring a glass.

Its the 25th October - how well are we doing collectively?!

Less than a week until the end of the month! Do people have a plan for after October?