Sober October Challenge

[KK1983]

Good afternoon 😊

As the title suggests, I have decided to give 'Sober October' my all and go alcohol free for 31 days. This challenge might be a walk in the park for some but this is going to be HUGE for me. In the past 12yrs, I can't even remember the last time I have even gone a week sober, let alone a month!

So, I am a daily drinker. I have 1-2 bottles per day, sometimes more over the weekend. I have a successful job and a beautiful life but my drinking is becoming more of an issue that I ever thought it would be. I think about it more than I want, plan days around it and spend far too much money on it. Alcoholism runs in my family so i'm aware of the signs which is why I need to get a grip asap. I want to be able to moderate.

If you saw me in the street you'd look at me and think I have my shit together. I have the house, the kids, the marriage, the job - the lot! Drinking became a friend when I had none and when I was lonely after my daughter was born and my husband worked nights. Now drinking feels part of my personality, people know me as someone who loves a drink, the life and soul and I used to love that but now, I'm bored of myself.

I have tried to go sober several times but I get to day 4 and give in after finding any tiny excuse to reward myself. Night 1 always feels a bit rough. I role around the bed for hours on end and get a little anxious but nothing too bad. Day 2 I feel hungover without the fun the night before. Day 3 I cry a lot and become quite irritated. Day 4 - I quit! Not this time though, I NEED to do this and I WILL do this.

To help me along the way I have started taking the following vitamins:

• Vitamin B Complex high strength
• Live friendly gut bacteria
• Vitamin B1 500mg x2
• Iron
• Biotin & Zinc
• Vitamin D & K2

Can any recommend anything else or have any tips to help me along the way?

Thank you for taking the time to read this,
Kate x

Ahh that's be nice - where you off? Just see how you go. If you feel disappointed about it maybe try not to drink?It is hard though. We stayed over in a hotel and went out for food and drinks.

I had a lovely day/night yesterday and probably had about a bottle of wine altogether over the space of a day. I didn't feel the need to go crazy, I had some diet cokes in between and I actually really enjoyed the drinks I did have - felt like a treat. I woke up this morning feeling a little fuzzy around the edges which is mad, my tolerance has lowered a lot already. Back home now on the soft drinks and about to catch up on MAFS.

Some people are so bloody odd. I was wondering who this was and why they suddenly just popped up. Hope you're ok - ignore them! We got you x

@KK1983 sounds like a lovely day! That sounds like a lovely aim - a nice day out with sensible drinking with no "fuck it waheyyyyyy!" moment. Although that is mad that even over that time period with soft drinks it's got you today.

Urgh - just had a look. That's quite creepy!

I know, plus I could see it on my face a little bit. Just shows what a few drinks can do to a healing body. I don't feel bad by any means, just not as bright as I have been.
The goal for yesterday was 'Eat all the food' and I definitely done that haha 😋

I can't believe we're half way through the month. We've all done so, so well x

I agree @KK1983, I think we've done great given how much we all seemed to be drinking when we started.

Has anyone spent much time thinking about why they drink? I think I struggle with being 'in the moment' and I am often trying to escape mentally (I am not sure what I am trying to escape from though). That's been exacerbated recently by life being hard and also quite boring these days but the fundamental urge is not new. It's always been there.

Do others find it easier to refrain when they’re home alone or their partners are home?

@nowinetimeforme I spent a lot of evenings on my own in my early twenties as I was a new mum, husband worked nights 4 times a week and over the weekends, I was 45 mins away from family and I used to make a bottle of wine last a week, I could give or take it. In a weird way I started having a drink through boredom cos I kind of thought that's what women done. I dunno.

I drink now cos I love the buzz, makes me feel good and I honestly don't feel like I drink to escape anything or drown out old memories or sadness but who knows?! I'd be interested to find out tbh.

I understand that when things get hard the bottle is always there, can relate to you there. I hope life gets easier for you xx

That makes me want to drink more tbh cos I romantacise alcohol and the situation. I'll create a scenario in my head, for example, Sundays. I'll be like - oh I can't wait to clean up, set the house straight, light all the candles, cook a roast, sit down with some snacks, watch a movie etc and all the while it will involve a fancy wine glass and an aesthetically pleasing photo for instagram etc. When in theory, I can do all of the above without the wine, why does wine make all the above feel cosier/better to me?! It's so mad to me. Whether I'm alone or with company, I'll find an excuse to drink.

Well, I did. Not any more.

How do you feel about this challenge and moving forward?

When I am in London for work I like going to a fancy hotel and sitting at the bar with a glass of wine or a cocktail. Thats definitely me romanticising drinking.

I like doing that too. Couldn't imagine going and drinking a soft drink, the appeal is no longer there.

I’ve lost track of the thread, it’s busy. It’s so lovely we all seem so similar re drinking habits though.

I’m still here, dry. Just. Twice this week I’ve poured a gin and tonic, taken a sip and poured it away. The IDEA seems great - to sit and relax with DH and watch the sunset. I seem to think the drink will add to the feeling - I pour the drink - then realise it doesn’t. I think I need to figure this one because I think at this stage (maybe not in the future) if I started to enjoy one drink a night, I’d have one drink a night, which probably would then creep up. It has before.

I think it’s similar to what you’ve been chatting about - romanticising alcohol. Making brain connections and associations that need to switch off by replacing them with other postive ones.

With me wine is definitely my 'reward' for getting to the end of the day, and it's been my primary method of unwinding. It relaxes me and quietens all the noise in my head.

I haven't actually found abstaining all that hard, my issue is that I don't have a 'stop button' - I hever have just one glass of wine and stop, I'll finish the bottle. Going dry for a month doesn't really solve that, so I need to think about next steps.

@ImFineItsAllFine I can relate to the silence of the noise. I always describe my brain as like a computer screen with loads of tabs open, it's so hard to close them off. I've always got something to think about etc or thinking too far ahead. I admire those people can thinking of absolutely nothing. Can't relate sadly haha

It good that you recognise that the drink isn't adding the feeling and you stop. Some might continue to chase the feeling.

I can relate to this.

I have to be listening to something all the time, even if I am doing something and can't really listen to it. I find being comfortable with no outside stimulation hard. Right now I am listening to a podcast which I can't really pay attention to when I am typing, but I have got it on anyway. I think this desire to get away from myself is part of why I don't like to be in silence.

@SoberOctober2025, ignore the nastiness and carry on...what a pity.
@KK1983sounds like a lovely night. We're going on a day trip to a city and a show. DH is driving and I will have a glass of wine with dinner. Not feel guilty and then carry on

I also don't have a deep dark trauma. I just seem to really enjoy wine, and the warm fuzzy feeling of a glass or three. I associate it with nice things - a log fire, a pub meal, watching a sunset, a reward after exercise. Or simply the transition to relaxing for the evening and knowing I don't have to drive again. I'll admit that if it didn't make me feel crap and grumpy with the kids the next day I wouldn't even be trying to cut down. I've gone from 70+ units a week ten years ago to 20-30 the last year and then down to 10-20 more recently. But that's only happened because my hangovers have got worse. I can't claim to have a higher motivation, although I wish I could say I had found a more wholesome activity. Ultimately I just find being drunk pretty enjoyable. Annoyingly.

Yeah, I like being drunk too.

@Springadorable Me to a T!

I love the honesty of this thread - it’s just the best.

I love the taste of a good glass of red. That won’t change. I just need to stop at that one good glass of red and not test the next 3 glasses for flavour too 🤣

Thanks guys - my wine witch has gone elsewhere tonight - it will have called by now. You lot are great!

I like being drunk too!

@Fiftyandme that doesn’t sound good. Do you have children at home? I’m also in a difficult situation, get by day to day but don’t know how to get over the shit

I think its super hard to say why i drank. I think alcohol just does something to my brain that it doesn’t do for other people. I think it just taps into something for me that it doesn't for other people. It’s like it gives me energy and relaxes me at the same time. In a way that nothing else really does.