Alcohol free due to medical condition

[Strengthpeacehealing]

Back in the summer I was diagnosed with diverticular disease, after 5 years of symptoms coming and going and which I now know to be flares of diverticulitis.

Flares can be triggered by all sorts of things, and vary from person to person, and after trying out various possible exclusions/triggers it’s become clear that my main one is alcohol. If I get dehydrated I start to get pain that can linger on for weeks and has become infected several times now. So, no alcohol going forward.

I need some help to arrange my mindset around this, I guess. I veer between being grateful that it’s something that can be so easily cut out, rather than other people who have to avoid whole food groups, for example, and then feeling completely overwhelmed at the prospect of not having a drink ever again.

I realise that I sound ridiculous.

I was that person who always enjoyed a drink to unwind, to relax in social situations, to celebrate, just because it was a sunny day, probably too much if I’m honest. Before this all happened I was aware that the drinking was creeping up and that I probably should cool it but the off switch was missing. So now, I have my off switch.

I know all the positives. I’ve lost weight simply from not drinking. I feel much better rested and sleep well, I have a clear head and no hangovers. I’m a better parent and colleague. My skin and eyes look healthy. In all other respects I am improving my health. I’m also putting the money saved aside although I’m not sure what for yet, but so far it’s £800 in a savings account and actually that’s completely shocking to me. What a waste before.

At times though, it just hits me, and I’m left with a sadness which I struggle to explain. It feels too dramatic to call it grief or depression, it’s not that, just this feeling that I can no longer have a drink and that makes me sad. I stopped drinking quite willingly while pregnant and didn’t miss it at all, but I suppose that had an end point to it. Now I’m 47 and this is it.

Drinking is not worth it, the pain it triggers is awful and that’s my deterrent.
I just wish it wasn’t sometimes.

If anyone can relate to this, come and join me. When the tricky times hit this will be a source of strength, I hope. I’ll try not to be too down all the time!

I can understand that. Alcohol can be a really enjoyable thing. I wonder whether you would benefit from spending the money you’ve saved on something you’ve always wanted to do - a new hobby, lessons or a holiday - to give you a new purpose to look forward to rather than ‘stuff’ where the novelty can quickly wear off.

I stopped drinking because I’m an alcoholic, but actually I also have an issue with my pancreas that’s irritated by alcohol. So even for years before I got sober because I had to, I should have been sober because it controlled the flares. And to top it off, now I have cancer and can’t drink because of the treatment anyway, even if I wanted to.

A couple things: don’t focus on forever. Focus on you aren’t drinking right now because you’re looking after your gut and healing it. In theory, you COULD go back to drinking if you wanted to and it’s possible that having reduced the chronic inflammation over a long period of time, that you could drink at Christmas or a special occasion, if you wanted to and still remain symptom free. More than likely, once you get over the hump and get to that point, you won’t want to anyway. But focus on one foot in front of the other right now.

Secondly, for me, it actually made it easier that I had a legit health issue that meant I couldn’t drink. It’s hard to blurt out, I’m an alcoholic to just anyone. But saying, thanks I’ll just have a lime and soda because my pancreas had less shame attached to it and people respected it. There wasn’t any of the, oh just have one! that a lot of people get when they stop drinking. People could grasp it and couldn’t really argue with it.

It will get easier. It’s been 2.5 years now and I don’t miss it or really think about it now. I hardly need any medication at all and am mostly symptom free. Quality of life is hugely improved.

I've stopped drinking due to oral cancer that has just hopefully been resolved with surgery.

It would be madness for me to ever drink again and I won't. But it is also madness that I miss wine and feel sorry that my easy days of drinking alcohol are over. Even though the wine is no doubt the cause of my oral problems.

I stopped drinking 66 days ago, but it's going to be a long journey to get the complete peace of being a non drinker having drunk for 40 years.

I understand the sadness that you are struggling to explain as I feel it too. Other times I'm grateful that my cancer was picked up early, that hopefully it is resolved and that hopefully I will remain cancer free especially by taking alcohol out of my life going forward.

My dh is in the same boat as you @Strengthpeacehealing and has cut down his drinking but it still seems it's not enough and keeps having flare ups.
I have also cut my alcohol consumption right down as it was creeping up far too high for my liking.

I would like to say I am not sure if what I am about to write is correct for the alcohol support group, so please do say if I am out of line.

We have been trying out low and zero alcohol drinks and have found several which we like, and that don't seem to affect him.
Kylies zero alcohol sparkling white and rośe are really lovely, and I don't feel like I am missing out on anything when I drink it.
DH likes Inches low alcohol cider. I think it's 0.5% so still some but again, it tastes like the alcoholic version. Same with Becks blue.
We also really like a low alcohol sparkling Chardonnay which Sainsburys sell. Also 0.5% but honestly it tastes like the Prosecco we have at Christmas so will be my tipple of choice then and NYE.
I have also been having zero alcohol gin from Tanquary which is pretty close to their alcoholic version.
What I haven't found is a good low or zero alcohol red wine.

I have to say I am not missing the restless sleep and the thick head the morning after.

Im a bit older than you, in my early 50s, and menopausal which from what I've read recently can make you go off alcohol, so this might be why I am feeling the way I am about not having it, but I have to say I wish I cut down years ago. I think my drink increased during covid and never really went back to pre covid times. No real reason why, it just did.