Tired…

[Lozzie89]

Hi all. I’m not sure I’m allowed to post on here as I’m not a mum. But I currently live with an alcoholic, who also has ADHD and anger issues. I’m so tired of the constant treading on eggshells because I don’t know what his mood will be or the constant shouting because he perceives I’ve done something wrong.
He keeps asking me if I love him and the honest answer is I don’t know. How can I love someone who treats me so badly. But then we will have a good day where I remember how he could be if drink wasn’t involved.
I guess I just wanted to write this down, I feel so lonely in dealing with everything. I also feel emotionally quite broken.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far🙂

Been there. Done that (the adhd and alcohol not the anger) just leave. My ex was also very needy and kept asking that all the time.

Hi. I replied to you on the support post, but just to say that my ex also had ADHD and addiction. He had extremely poor emotional disregulation, which can be an issue for people with ADHD, but is also simply part of addiction: their frustration, the irritability, the change in their brain chemistry where everything is second to getting and using the substance. It doesn’t get better unless they are in long term and sustained recovery I imagine. I never got to know with my ex. I couldn’t cope with the life on eggshells anymore. It turned me into a shell of the person I was. Anxious, exhausted, teary, and always waiting for the next verbal tirade. it is so so so hard to walk away. I tried many times and would crack that maybe this time it would be different, maybe I could help him into recovery or stay in recovery. I couldn’t. Only the person in addiction can do that. I wasn’t prepared to set myself on fire to keep him warm anymore. I’m only a month into the separation and I have so much guilt and sadness and anger and regret etc. but my life is so much calmer

Do keep posting on here for support. Have your tried SMART family and friends online group? I preferred it to Al Anon.

I also didn’t know if I loved my ex by the end. I didn’t know who he was anymore to be honest. His mood change was constant and the sober times became fewer and fewer.