Did gp give the right advice?

[silverbirchlady]

My lovely husband of many years has had a horrible time at work plus some personal issues with friends and bereavement s
He isn't usually a drinker just a few beers or wine at the weekend.
But I discovered he has been secretly drinking huge amounts of spirits for the past couple of months. Completely out of character.
Said it takes the edge off? And he cannot sleep. Very tearful but says he is glad he's been found out.
As far as I can tell he hasn't drank for the last week since I discovered the issue.
I persuaded him to see a gp today who was extremely nice and certainly listened.
But just gave info about local alcohol services .
I thought he might suggest some antidepressants to help with the root cause of the drinking but he said he thought it was due to circumstances and to reach out to alcohol services.
Reading all the threads on here has made me feel extremely despondent and I cannot stop crying at what the future could be if he starts drinking again.
Has anyone got any positive experiences where the person overcame this.?

I think the advice sounds fine. There isn’t loads the NHS can offer given he isn’t currently drinking. A lot of services are focused on safe detox for people who are alcohol dependent (would have withdrawal symptoms from stopping).

It sounds like if he hasn’t drank for the past week, he’s gotten himself through that bit, which is great. The really positive thing is that it sounds like this is all very recent (a few months rather than 10 years) and that’s a good sign in terms of getting himself back on track.

He has to make his own mind up, but it’s worth considering the offer of antidepressants. They helped me temporarily and I came off them when I no longer needed them.

Most options to support people who want to quit drinking are in the private sector or through peer support. There is so much out there and it’s not expensive, so really accessible. He might seek out a men’s alcohol support group (many groups are heavily women, which is fine but he may feel more out of place there). Or go to AA. Both free.

He could also seek out a therapist or a sober coach privately. There are lots of books he could read and podcasts. There are Facebook groups. He just has to look around and find what feels like a good fit.

It’s absolutely possible to have a fantastic life though. I drank heavily for 20 years. I was drinking about 200 units a week when I quit. I didn’t use any NHS services at all. I stopped totally by finding a support group online and changing my lifestyle, reading books, listening to podcasts, meeting other sober people. I’m 2 years sober and a few months now. I’ve never looked back.

Well done on making such a huge change that's great.
He did not offer antidepressants but I'll keep an eye and if things don't impinge I'll have to take him back obviously he can take himself back but his mood seems so low it's difficult for him to motivate him to
Self.

Yup. My relationship with alcohol went from mildly unhealthy to catastrophic as a result of 3 very hard years. I’m now over 3 years sober.

What I didn’t realise at the time was how much the alcohol was contributing to my poor mental health. Once I stopped drinking, everything improved really dramatically.

I didn’t do AA or formal alcohol support-I read a lot of “quit lit” and had some online support via a thread on here and the Dry January facebook page.

I was on antidepressants when I stopped drinking and being sober helped me come off them, but I found the tapering quite difficult. Nobody told me (a) ADs would make me feel a lot worse at first and (b) although not addictive they can be hard to stop.

What I would say though is that alcohol abuse is like a lift that only goes downwards - you either get off it, or keep going down. And once you’ve used alcohol as a coping mechanism, I don’t believe it’s possible to go back to using alcohol just for fun. There is definitely a sense of mourning that loss of being able to drink that way, because alcohol is everywhere and drinking is so normalised.

So your DH has a tough road ahead of him, but it is possible, and he’s taken a hugely positive step by seeking support

Thankyou for the replies.
The advice was to cut down but not stop completely.
He's managed to stop the spirits for 4 days and is slightly shaky today. He's going to contact the local alcohol support services to morrow .
Just hoping to get through the immediate future and will deal with the rest as it happens

Most alcohol services want you to self refer as it shows a level of motivation.

Also when assessing for depression, it’s best to be substance free as otherwise it’s hard to tell what symptoms are caused by the depression or what is caused by substance or alcohol misuse.

I am sorry you are going through this. I am the spouse in this scenario. The GP is your first step. He will help detox /inpatient stay.
AA meetings helped me, there are supports for family members affected by Alcoholism in AL Anon. My husband and young adults attend those meetings for family support.
If you wanted someone in AA to chat with him about their experiences with alcohol then look up the General service office for AA in your area and give them a ring..

I wish you the very best in your journey with him if you decide to stay. It’s not easy on our family members We cause so much hurt as alcoholics. Life gets a lot easier when we stop drinking and not always being sorry but showing our sorry by staying sober & my actions.
We all have the ability to heal..

Once you admit to an addiction they will pass you onto the local addiction service. It's a long term set of treatment that varies person to person and the GP isn't an expert in that.

It's no different to them signposting you to gynae if you had issues with your womb or orthopaedic surgery if you had a broken limb.

He should engage with that service as they are fully equipped and qualified to deal with alcohol issues. They often can and do prescribe withdrawal medication for various addictions. As well as offer therapy.

He can also start attending AA. It's free, and they run multiple meetings a day.

I wish him the best. He can still see his GP of course but should fully engage with the addiction service if he's serious about quitting.

There are services better placed than your GP who can help with this and who can also prescribe if necessary things like Antabuse. They are staffed with experts in this field and include people with lived experience which can be very supportive. AA can work for some but in my professional experience the drug and alcohol treatment agencies offer more support and AA is a good step down. He needs to go there for assessment at the first step and they will support him to take it from there. In our area it's CGL, open road and phoenix futures, but it's area dependent.

Thankyou all so much . I really appreciate the time you've taken to reply .
Yes he's made an appointment for this week so I'll tag along even if I just sit outside.
I think he's still drinking some spirits as the tremors are quite bad but unfortunately he's denying that at the moment. Very ashamed tearful not sleeping so hoping this appointment will lead to some help.
Once again Thankyou xx

Good luck at the appointment op don't forget to look after yourself as well. Hope the last few days have been ok

Thankyou .
I'm very tearful and feel terrible that i didn't spot what was happening.
It just came out of the blue I just couldn't imagine him doing this he's usually so controlled by that I mean he doesn't overeat or engage in any risky behaviour.
Today is the appointment with alcohol services so I've got probably unrealistically high hopes for that.

Just an update . Not really going well at all. He saw the alcohol addiction services and is very angry with the person he saw and wishes he hadn't gone. Looks like he'll lose his driving license ( he hardly ever drives so practically it's not really an issue) but he's angry about that.
He has a follow up appointment next week but really isn't keen to go.
Had a horrible day today was my sons big 3-0 and he took us and my daughter out for dinner to celebrate and thank us for various things. Was so looking furward to it but my husband was obviously drunk before we even left the house.
I've felt so angry ashamed and embarrassed I haven't been a bit nice and have stormed off to bed . Tbh the smell of booze is making me feel sick.
I'm not sure where to go with this . Up until recently this wasn't an issue but it's escalated so quickly I'm struggling