Day 4 no alcohol

[sugarplummy142]

I’m hoping others can relate to this. Over the past 20 years my relationship with alcohol has gone from a bottle of wine on a Friday night, to a bottle every weekend night, to three bottles a week to a bottle every night for the past couple of years near enough.
My dad died before Xmas after years of being ill, drinking in an evening was my was of blocking out the sadness and pain. After he died I developed lots of gastro issues as well as shocking anxiety. GP said the gastro was anxiety related. I carried in drinking every night but i feel so ill every day I went back to a different GP this week who kindly suggested the drinking isn’t helping and to stop while she runs tests for gastritis.
Oh the excitement and enthusiasm for stopping drinking was just great on day one. I was going to stop, feel wonderful, anxiety would be gone, I wouldn’t be depressed about dad anymore. I thought I’d be like tinker bell fluttering around sprinkling happy glitter everywhere.
In actual fact I feel nearly as bad as if I’d had a bottle last night, usual sickly anxiety feeling, tired and miserable. Any thoughts?

You need to support and help to stop drinking. It’s very difficult to do it on your own. Google your nearest AA meeting or talk to your GP for help and good luck.

i don't agree it's difficult to stop alone, i don't understand myself how talking about drinking with a group of strangers helps really unless you really are at rock bottom. It take time for the body to rewire and break habits so you have to give it time. It's totally worth it. Try reading The Naked Mind.

sugarplummy142 Well done on starting, you’re doing so well to reach 3 nights on your own - and will be even more wonderful when you do 4 and 5 and 6 !!

Professional guidance and support will definitely help you in the medium to long term. I hope your gastritis settles.

Well it's Day 13 here and I feel shocking! Still sleep badly and wake up with a headache etc. Not where I want to be at all but trying to be patient

Get yourself into the “Dryy” App community. It’s free and it’s bloody brilliant. Post in here too for accountability. Swap booze for something else (icecream, exercise, sex, anything!) I think you’ll crack it with the right mindset. Lots of advice and everyone’s just like you (& me) Check it out xxx

It’s only been 4 days! You’re going to feel crap for a while to come yet - I only drank at the weekend and am 14 days in and still feel shattered and flat but there are so many gains to be had and if you can keep with it, you will soon be fluttering like Tinkerbell. I know this because I’ve been here before and abstained for a couple of years but stupidly convinced myself that my bottle and a half at the weekend wasn’t that much of an issue!

There is so much help out there now online and podcasts. AA or group environments are not the be all and end all and doesn’t suit everyone. I’m with nitgel on this and listen to Annie Grace and currently doing the 30 day experiment, as well as posting on here and other sites.

Stick with it and keep posting - you’ve already done so well and how you feel is all to be expected.

Thank you all for your supportive words - quite overwhelmed with so many responses. I quite expected ‘you’ve done this to yourself so live with it’ which is how I feel.
Been a bit of a day today, felt so crap and anxious that I thought blow it, this is just anxiety nothing to do with the booze and did linger in the wine aisle in Tesco for a minute. Only lingered though, went elsewhere and bought some shoes that I’ll probably never wear.
There being no numbing the grief about dad is the hardest thing.
Anyway, there’s many suggestions from you all so that’ll keep me busy this evening
Thanks again

Sorry to hear about your dad. Alcohol is such an acceptable coping mechanism, but it’s a really crappy coping mechanism unfortunately!

Days 4/5 are probably the hardest when you stop drinking, as your body is in peak withdrawal. Everyone is slightly different, but most people will start to feel much better by about day 10, as cortisol returns to its normal level about then.

But you may feel crap and tired for a while, as you are allowing your mind and body to properly feel and grieve, and that is tough.

Be really gentle with yourself- don’t put any expectations on yourself as to how you “should” be feeling.

You need to heal, and healing takes time

Get the book 'Alcohol Explained' by William Porter.
I cannot recommend this enough!
If I was religious it would be my bible! Lol

Alcohol feeds anxiety. Your body is detoxing so no wonder your anxiety is bad. Once you fully detox you will start to feel better.

So sorry to hear about your Dad and anxiety and everything. I honestly think you are going through so much you need to get your depression and anxiety sorted either first or alongside the alcohol. Could you maybe just cut down a bit and get other stuff sorted? That will then help more with cutting it out.

I am not sure if it was you that mentioned this book back in January?, but if it was you I would like to thank you for saving my health, and very probably my life. I mean that sincerely.

I was you OP, it was hellish. It got to the stage my anxiety about the guilt of drinking over-rode everything else. I read tonnes of things and nothing really resonated with me. Or it did, a little, enough to make me aware and cut down, but not completely stop.

I downloaded "Alcohol Explained" by William Porter and listened to it. It completely resonated in a life-changing way. It was exactly what I needed to hear and have since listened to his follow-up book. The craving cycle he talked about was brilliant and I never ever want to be wrapped up in that again.

Been sober since January. Will I drink again? I think I probably won't. Life is so much better. I replaced my nightly wine with 0% stuff and now on other non alcoholic drinks - as I liked the routine and familiarity of pouring myself a drink as a reward/support....whatever it once did. I see it as a means to an end. It did what it needed to do. It was remarkably easy (I am not saying that to be preachy in any way or smug). I was blown away by how easy it was and had no idea it would make me feel fantastic. (In honesty, I got a bit🙄with the stuff I had read about the happy clappies (in the quit I read) being so thrilled with sobriety but it is true! and I take it all back).

I guarantee if you get to 100 days (it was a lot less for me), you will feel so much better physically and mentally.

There is some excellent advice on this thread, and you have done an amazing thing for yourself to start a thread and reach out - it was more than I did. Go for it. One day at a time and before you know it, you'll be waking up refreshed having had a proper sleep.

I hope this helps.

This 100%.

I am at day 130 and feel the best I have felt in decades. Keep at it. I also had low level anxiety every day - that has totally gone and my energy is through the roof.

the only extra thing I do is I have a cbd drink every night - helps relax me and makes me feel like I’m still having something special.

@FizzPlease I may well have been! I've been on this group since last year & have recommended his book a few times! (I should really think about asking for royalties 🤣)

That's amazing!!! Congratulations! 🎊 It's so freeing isn't it?!
But remember, you made the changes, you did the work so be very proud of yourself. The book just has a way of opening your eyes & once they have it's like a light bulb!

I echo what others have said, it'll take time to rid you body of poison & for your brain to recalibrate. I was pretty lucky, by day 5 I was sleeping like a baby! I'd never realised just how shit alcohol made my sleep until then.

The 1st 72 hours are the hardest. You've done it @sugarplummy142!
Why on earth would you want to drink & keep doing the hardest bit over & over? Makes no sense does it?
You're anxiety will settle, I promise.

Do post here if you need to vent/rant/ask advice. There's a lot of lovely people in these threads with great advice & from a place of experience x

https://jasoncurrill.com/?fbclid=IwY2xjawKmdHxleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHvShbyuLTKRaUg60ARO6-ef_yNdU04L-kJtlss7pt5AXlesIKuWV4EL9xWsK_aem_y-5fImW_-8f_hHHzzSiZOg

This is a group I am part of. There's loads of online & in person meet ups, daily live videos & I've personally done the 'shrink the drink' challenge.

Not spam i promise!

Thanks guys. Had a wobbly day. It’s Friday and that’s wine and Chinese night but the sun is out and I’m in the garden with a book and a glass of elderflower (in a wine glass). Still don’t feel great but proud of my 5 day streak

You should feel proud!
glad you got to enjoy the sunshine & a relaxing drink - doesn’t have to be booze to be a treat! Keep strong & keep counting those days x

@NorthernDancerjust wondering how you’re feeling today? I would have asked before but it’s taken me three days to work out how to reply to individual comments.

I’ve had a rubbish day, felt sick and anxious on and off all day. Don’t know if it’s general anxiety that I’ve had since dad died or the not drinking or the possible gastritis. Didn’t help that my sister in law turned up telling me I need a endoscopy to find out what’s really wrong with me.

I ended up sitting by myself for a bit and just sobbing because I’m so sick of feeling unwell and anxious. I want my life back.

I start with a new counsellor on Monday so hopefully that will help.

Sorry for ranting guys and also sorry for not replying individually to your posts - clueless 40 something.

Have a good evening all

@sugarplummy142 how are you feeling now? It might be worth talking to your doctor about the anxiety if you’re still suffering. There’s lots of effective and non-addictive medical support for anxiety, alongside your therapy,

The anxiety comes from the alcohol. We think it makes us relax and yes we do feel a wave of relief after the first slip. I remember feeling a sense of peace. But a few hours later the anxiety returns, and stronger than before. This starts with the cerebral cortex (the part of the brain that helps us think clearly, manage emotions and stay calm.). Alcohol slows that part of the brain down FIRST - this is why wine seems to work so quickly. Our thoughts go quiet and our tension drops, but unfortunately we're also switching off the part of the brain that helps us regulate stress.

So what happens is we feel better in the moment but just made it harder to cope later. The stress hasn't gone anywhere, it's just been paused. Then once the alcohol wears off our brain tries to bounce back and it overcorrects. This sends our nervous system into high alert. This is why we then feel on edge. It's just the body trying to rebalance itself.

I hope this hasn't been too much of a science lesson but it really helped me to know this stuff - to know there was a reason why I felt anxious even after I drank. It all made sense when I started to see myself as someone who'd done a really good job at learning to drink wine! That helped because I then realised if I could learn that I could learn something else, too - how to not be a good drinker even if I didn't know then (like I know now) how to do that.