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Original poster

Binge Drinking

12 replies

PicturePuzzle · 25/05/2025 17:54

I think I might have a problem with binge drinking. There's also alcoholism in my immediate family. I definitely need to reset my tolerance. I'm 45, lead a busy life, exercise a lot.

Not a huge drinker as such, as in I would never drink at home during the week. I'd rather have tea than wine will sitting down at night. Don't see the point in a few drinks as I still feel it the following day and it bothers my sleep. It's the way I drink that bothers me.

About once a week (not every week, depends on what is going on) I will drink some wine/fizz, could drink two bottles easily, I always had a great tolerance for fizz. If I had wine with food, I wouldn't bother with much but if I drink on it's own and it is fizz in particular, I get giddy, enjoy the feeling and drink more. I wouldn't feel great the following day but I'd get up, I'd just need a nap during the day. I'd be mad to eat carbs.

I really look forward to a glass of fizz, as in the whole day I'd look forward to it. I'm more of a social/situational drinker. If the sun is out, if I meet friends, Friday evening (this I think is from when I was working in the city and Friday evening drinks was a thing), watching sport. Not too interested in having wine with food.

I have a lot going on in my personal life, had quite a trauma a few years ago and I guess this is driving me to take time out of life so to speak.

I don't get aggressive, fall over, argue with anyone, I don't bother my family. However I've noticed my daughter who is 10 doesn't like it. All I want is fun, chat and some music. I do however have less control. I also hate the following day. I factor in the hangover as part of the drinking, so an evening drinking and not feeling good the following day.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I want to reset my tolerance, change the psychology of why/when I drink. I want to be able to enjoy a few drinks, get tipsy and leave it there. Being able to drink 2+ bottles of fizz is not ok on my body. I'd also be afraid this could escalate.

It's not ok now that my daughter doesn't like it.

OP posts:
Oldhabitsarehardtobreak · 25/05/2025 19:01

if you want to lower your tolerance levels for a while then you’d need to abstain from alcohol for a good long while so that, the next time you drink it, it will hit you like it did the first time you ever had a drink. That won’t last long though.

Coming from a family with (constantly lapsing, even after 13 yrs sober) alcoholics, and having had -at my worst- a tolerance of 1.5 bottles, I don’t actually believe you can permanently reset, and then drink as a person without any drinking issues could i.e a person who could have a glass or two then leave the rest of the bottle. Not for long at any rate.

One of the key questions when determining if alcohol is an issue is ‘do you find you are unable to stop drinking, once you’ve started?’. Might quitting be worst considering?

ProfessionalWhimsicalSkidaddler · 25/05/2025 21:16

There’s a ted talk by Millie goocher (something similar maybe) and I think it would resonate with most people if they were honest. Society pushes alcohol and seems to think you only have a problem if you drink every day or your job is at risk.

Teaforthetotal · 25/05/2025 22:28

Oldhabitsarehardtobreak · 25/05/2025 19:01

if you want to lower your tolerance levels for a while then you’d need to abstain from alcohol for a good long while so that, the next time you drink it, it will hit you like it did the first time you ever had a drink. That won’t last long though.

Coming from a family with (constantly lapsing, even after 13 yrs sober) alcoholics, and having had -at my worst- a tolerance of 1.5 bottles, I don’t actually believe you can permanently reset, and then drink as a person without any drinking issues could i.e a person who could have a glass or two then leave the rest of the bottle. Not for long at any rate.

One of the key questions when determining if alcohol is an issue is ‘do you find you are unable to stop drinking, once you’ve started?’. Might quitting be worst considering?

It would be worth reading The Sober Diaries by Claire Pooley. I think she does a great job of explaining why she drank to excess and ultimately why it wasn't OK.

Teaforthetotal · 25/05/2025 22:29

Sorry @Oldhabitsarehardtobreak didnt mean to quote your advice.

Openthisdoor · 26/05/2025 16:56

There’s some very sound advice on this thread. I’m the same as you OP, slightly different amount, 1 bottle of Prosecco over one night at the weekend and sometimes half a bottle mid week.

I have given up for long periods at a time over the years but keep coming back to it, always the same amount.

I decided again to quit 10 days ago, I dont want to reset, I have tried that obviously many times before with a crap outcome 😄. I agree with @Oldhabitsarehardtobreak that once you hit a certain point is almost impossible to reset with this highly addictive drug.

I’ve gone back to basics; back to the quit lit, currently listening to Annie Grace podcast and started reading on page 43 of this alcohol support board, reading other posters experience and working my way through. I am so sick and tired of being a slave to alcohol and it’s so easy to minimise the amount and compare yourself to other people that are drinking more, but I know I’m doing some quite serious damage to my body by bingeing like I do, even one night a week.

Maddy70 · 26/05/2025 17:31

Download the Alan Carr stop drinking book on Spotify it's really worked for my husband

Original poster
PicturePuzzle · 27/05/2025 07:15

Thank you to everyone who replied and recommended various things to read.

The thing is, I recently went two months without drinking a thing as I had a continuous virus, it didn't bother me not to drink. I can also have one glass of wine with food and it doesn't bother me to leave it at that.

I think I have some psychology around drinking. I associate various events, Friday's with having a drink. I look forward to it then. I guess then the addictive part of alcohol kicks in, you have one and you have more. I never drink when I'm feeling low. It's mostly when I'm happy and giddy. I would say I'm quite introverted a lot of the time but then at times I can be quite outgoing and I like that alcohol helps this.

I suppose I'm not unlike a lot of the population however I feel for me that it's too much. It's nothing to be proud of to be able to drink two plus bottles of fizz.

OP posts:
wordywitch · 27/05/2025 07:52

You have created a psychological crutch with alcohol which has now turned into a well-established neurological pathway. You have, in essence, programmed yourself to need more when you have decided that you’re going to drink to relax or have fun. That’s why you can take it or leave it in other situations like with a meal, but not when you’ve decided it’s ’fizz time’. Once that neurological pathway has been established, it’s very, very difficult to undo through trying to moderate or cut back because your brain will usually override your willpower. That’s how people get stuck in a restrict - binge - shame cycle that just keep getting worse with time.

I highly recommend Alcohol Explained by William Porter to understand the physiological and neurological effects of alcohol. Reading it changed my life from one much like you’ve described to now being 4.5 years sober and free from alcohol’s hold over me. Understanding the science is what finally made it click, and stick. Good luck OP.

Original poster
PicturePuzzle · 27/05/2025 08:23

wordywitch · 27/05/2025 07:52

You have created a psychological crutch with alcohol which has now turned into a well-established neurological pathway. You have, in essence, programmed yourself to need more when you have decided that you’re going to drink to relax or have fun. That’s why you can take it or leave it in other situations like with a meal, but not when you’ve decided it’s ’fizz time’. Once that neurological pathway has been established, it’s very, very difficult to undo through trying to moderate or cut back because your brain will usually override your willpower. That’s how people get stuck in a restrict - binge - shame cycle that just keep getting worse with time.

I highly recommend Alcohol Explained by William Porter to understand the physiological and neurological effects of alcohol. Reading it changed my life from one much like you’ve described to now being 4.5 years sober and free from alcohol’s hold over me. Understanding the science is what finally made it click, and stick. Good luck OP.

Thank you, that makes a lot of sense. I will take a look at that book.

Isn't it scary how easily you can become addicted as such when it started out such fun.

OP posts:
SpinCoffeeRepeat · 29/05/2025 14:31

My god, I thought I was reading one of my old posts. This was exactly what I was like. I tried all sorts with varying degrees of success. However, The Sinclair Method has literally changed my life. I’m six weekends in, a bottle of wine or fizz will last me a weekend, I’m quite content to have one glass in a Friday and there’s no urge to down it and crack open another bottle. Look into it if you get as desperate as I was!!

all the best xx

Original poster
PicturePuzzle · 30/05/2025 11:29

I have been thinking a lot about my psychology around alcohol. I have to change it. I think my psychology leads the alcohol as opposed to the alcohol leading me. I want to change this before alcohol becomes my total boss.

I also know that part of why I drink to excess is to get away from my own head. I'm going through a lot at the moment but this isn't the answer, I know it. It's just so easy sometimes to have an out.

I haven't thought about a drink all week. Come Friday, I look forward to it, that Friday evening feeling. So this week, I am going to go for a run instead. I know once I have passed the 5pm time, I won't want a drink. It's so strange.

I could have a drink tomorrow with my lunch and just have one. But put me in a beer garden, fun, music, then I go a little mad. It's so situational.

Anyhow, I'm just musing.

OP posts:
Original poster
PicturePuzzle · 30/05/2025 11:31

And sometimes, I just want a bit of happiness, to enjoy life.

OP posts:
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