I think I have liver disease

[ninjahamster]

But even that isn’t enough to stop me drinking.

Serious MH issues for several years. Anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, self harm, psychosis.

Drink a bottle of wine most nights.

Latest blood tests show raised serum alt level, dr calling me Monday to discuss.

8 stone overweight. Exercise rare as don’t leave the house due to anxiety. Alcohol feels like my only pleasure.

But knowing I’ve probably damaged my liver is not impacting me, I just can’t stop.

Do you want to stop ? Have you tried to before now?

Obviously I didn’t drink when pregnant and drank a lot less when I worked.
But that’s maybe the issue, I’m not sure I want to stop?

I get it , my friend's dd was addicted to heroin, she ran away and left 3 young children , the addiction was stronger than everything else.
She is now clean and has been for nearly 4 years. This is going to sound crazy, but she did it with the help of a Shamen (I think that's what he was called) , she 100% didn't want to stop , a family member hired a remote cottage , a nurse and the Shamen . My friend and I thought it was an insane idea and would never work but it did. She maintains her sobriety using Whimhoff breathing. I remain astounded even today.
Is there any help at all, will the doctor refer you to rehab ?

OK, so play the tape forward. What's the projection of staying as you are now in a year? in 5 years? How do you think you'll end up if you carry on?

Stopping drinking and facing reality is hard but so is this slow death. Choose your hard, as they say.
You can find other ways to cope with life because alcohol is making everything much much worse.

Your brain is lying to you, right now you feel empty and nonchalant about life because of low dopamine. You can feel good again without alcohol if you commit to new habits and give your body time to heal.

The thing about alcohol is that it seems to cure depression but it actually causes it.

I do know I need to stop but the thought of it is so hard. It literally is my only pleasure, don’t eat out due to MH, don’t have any friends, no job.

I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling. I think you need to speak to your doctor before you try to stop drinking (if you choose to do that) as it might be dangerous for you to just stop. You might need medical support to stop safely.

I have heard that Mounjaro (the diabetes/weight loss injection) reduces addictive behaviours and drinking if you were interested in looking at that. If it did help you to reduce your drinking the cost of a bottle of wine each night would go a good way towards paying for it. But I repeat myself that you must ask your doctor what is safe for you to do.

You can get a lof of support on the Internet and forums until you feel ready to get out and meet people in the real world.

Edit just to add - not having friends or a job at the moment doesn't mean that you can't have those things in the future x

Thank you. I can’t afford mounjaro, I have looked into it.
I have gone cold turkey several times when sectioned with no issues (sectioned for MH), but always end up drinking again when I come out.
The dr is calling me tomorrow so I will see what they say I guess.

Fingers crossed for you tomorrow, tell the GP you want help, they must be able to sort you medication if the test results relate to that x
my drinking was up 2020 through to last year and I’m not on a liver ward, there but for the grace of god.

I contacted my local county council and got a free 6 week counselling session plus there are a couple of apps you can download which motivate you to keep off the drink. Alcohol change under try dry or drinkCoach

If you haven’t watched it find Rain in my heart but have some tissues at the ready.
Heavens knows I’ve even asked myself if I had one of Vanda’s red legs 🙈

Here to chat xx I have everything crossed for you.

I don’t know. I guess that’s the problem. So selfish of me and I hate myself for that.

I'm sorry but you can afford Mounjaro if you can afford a bottle of wine a night. Even if you're paying £6 a bottle then that is £180 per month. You will get weight loss injections for less than that.

when I started injecting I lost all desire for alcohol. I've been on it for a year and have lost over four stone and feel so much healthier. I've had perhaps six drinks and that time and that's because someone has given them to me. They have had no effect on me, there's been no desire to drink them and no kick has been felt after drinking them.

The drugs affect the reward system in your brain and that's what's causing you to drink. Please don't lie to yourself saying that you can't afford them, you can't afford not to give them a go. You will lose the weight and it will greatly reduce your desire to have a drink. You won't feel like you're depriving yourself, I promise.

Well alcohol isn't going to help with no job or friends.
You feel there is nothing else in your life because of alcohol. It makes you more depressed and it pushes people away. The alcohol as "cure" for loneliness and lack of purpose, motivation and structure in your life is also the cause of these things. Of course stopping is hard, that's why you get support and seriously commit to it.
You have to choose whether to live or die. If you want or need to live then life is hard enough without adding alcohol to it. Then make life bearable by stopping alcohol. The pain of life is worsened when you add alcohol. Alcohol gives you relief a couple of hours but lasting damage and problems. Until you see for yourself that the cons of drinking outweigh any perceived benefits, you will continue to relapse.

I buy Aldi wine at £4 a bottle. Probably drink 5 days a week.
£80 a month, mounjaro is close to £200 I think?
I’ve a dr appt on the phone this afternoon so will see what they say.

How did your chat with the doctor go?

She said my liver isn’t actually that bad and that if I cut form it is reversible. I’m not going to drink weekdays, it will be tough but I think I can do it. She was more worried about my mental health to be honest. She is referring me for a scan though.

I really hope you have the strength to at least cut down on, take this news a a gift. Can you attend AA meetings?

If you are 8 stone overweight it is worth discussing Mounjaro with your doctor. Liver disease is impacted by body fat of course.

I also found MJ removed all desire to drink and the resulting reduction in food and drink bills means it is not adding to my outgoings.