Positive post- hope for anyone struggling

[Hopefullyhelpfullyhelpful]

I was a ‘functioning’ alcoholic for around 10+ years- mostly through my 20’s so it was brushed off as partying etc.
I had blackouts, I lived alone so would drink at lunchtime with friends in the pub at work (office work) get a bottle of two of wine on way home then eat something small in bed and drink drink drink til I fell asleep. Send embarrassing texts or the like, fall asleep, wake up hungover and repeat.

i couldn’t so anything without a secret drink. Dates- I’d be smashing in 4/5 pre mix cans in a toilet beforehand. Work- I’d have some premix cans before anything stressful and crumple them in to the sanitary bins.

Nobody would have known- genuinely. I hit my 30’s and met my husband and went on to have children- was sober throughout pregnancies. Had terrible PND, alcohol again flared but my husband wouldn’t have noticed- I’d drink whilst he was working and be ‘merry’ by the time he returned but he didn’t realise. I’d hide the bottles etc in bins around the town whilst out with the pram. I was a mess but outwardly holding it together.

I decided to stop for a week, it turned in to a month, which turned in to a year, which turned in to many.

I have no idea why i finally stopped. Maybe the guilt of knowing I’d been looking after my children drunk finally hit me. They were small and won’t ever remember me drinking- I think I knew it was now or never. Whatever it is, I’m so grateful - I’d never been able to go 24 hours without drinking in my 20’s.

Years down the line I still have wobbles (never relapsed thank god) where I get jealous - especially the hot weather!

here’s what helped me:

1. the first month was hell on earth- I had to get really in to the ‘quit lit’ that helped me.
2. I did some online support
3. I wrote down how I wanted my future with my children to look like without the booze and re read it every day.
4. I looked after my diet, sleep and exercise- they say treat yourself like a baby in those early days and I did.
5. I forgave myself for all the horrible drunken behaviour. I still have awful flashbacks but I try and give myself grace that it doesn’t matter now.

I used to trawl MN for hope (mostly drunk!) and i hope someone sees this and know there’s always hope.

This brilliant post has made my day, and thanks for coming here to share it! 😄

This is excellent advice and inspo, and you must be so proud of yourself! It's beautiful to think that your kids will never know you as a drinker...

Yes to the wobbles - doesn't mean we should give in to them, it's just a sign of how addictive alcohol is and how steeped in it the culture is (I get the 'hot weather jealousy' too - and the Christmas booze propaganda) - but yes to the gratitude too! It's a freedom like nothing else...

Have a great day!

Thanks for the post - that's really helpful for me. I'm on Day 7 and my mood is all over the place today. One minute I'm happy, singing etc and the next I'm in tears. Reading the slightest uplifting or upsetting thing on here sets me off. It's been ok so far with lots of AF drinks, keeping busy, endless posts and reading on here. What worries me is I keep thinking one day I'll 'treat' myself to a glass of wine or something (why not?) and be back to square one. I can see I don't have to have another drink ever, but what if I do? It's taken me years to take this first step and I might not manage it again.

P.S. I'm off on holiday soon so that will be my first big challenge. Usual routine is first stop = airport bar for a pint...

This was me too, in fact literally any excuse for a drink and I was off.

ive been on 3 trips since- all stayed AF. I have to admit it was absolutely tough as hell the first few months- especially as I did not demand my partner stop drinking or anything (they did out of solidarity for the first month and now I don’t mind being around them having the odd drink at home- I just have a Diet Coke).

I just knew if I carried on without sounding horrific here - I’d be dead. I’d get the worst regret depression after drinking sessions (because I used to drink a lot in secret) and then I’d feel suicidal. I genuinely think if I carried on I’d have killed myself or the booze related illnesses would have got me

I know you’re a stranger on internet but know I am proud of you! There’s not many of us out there who make this change and stick to it.

for your holiday can you take some quit lit? I’m dyslexic and not a reader at all but I demolished The Joy of Being Sober in that first week or so, it helped keep me on track xx

@Hopefullyhelpfullyhelpful Thank you! That's really helped me and it's great to hear that other people are doing well. I'll be so proud if I can get through the holiday. I don't think I've EVER had a holiday without booze since I was about 14!

Thanks so much for sharing. I read your post and so much of it resonated with me. Been there drinking to take the edge off even very important interviews and meetings 😳 I got away with so much shit, But I used it to steady my nerves. Absolutely mental risk taking but at the time we just need to get through don’t we ❤️‍🩹

well bloody done to you!!! You’ve totally smashed it 👑💛 it’s brilliant to help people with how you’ve cracked it. Like you say it can be done 🙏🏼🤍💛

i couldn’t find my off switch or fully abstain, id always go back and I needed some help 😫 I’m on my third weekend of sensible drinking thanks to TSM, I just wish I’d found it ten years earlier.

☀️👑🤍