Putting Pressure on Myself

[Butterfly1728]

Hi,
I want to make changes; I’m a binge drinker and the hangovers give me terrible anxiety and low mood for days after (had a session on Saturday night and feel awful now). Hence the want for change.

I’ve been tampering with the idea of going sober (completed Dry January and since then have had longer periods of not drinking), however I worry about the perception of others, whether I’ll cave in to please others, and if I’ll be bored/boring.

I’m getting married this month and I’ve 2 hen do’s planned; neither of which I want to drink at but feeling the pressure (only from me!), concerned that I’ll be judged or perceived as boring. I’m also keen to not drink at my wedding.

Any tips/advice on how to go through my journey not worried about what others think?

Probably not the best person to give advice on this as I'm not much of a drinker, but I think it's becoming a lot more normalised and common for people not to drink or to drink less. If you set your boundaries out at the start and make it clear that you won't accept any alcoholic drinks if anyone offers, you'll be okay. There are lots of alternatives, 0% drinks and mocktails to choose from!

Don't be hard on yourself, giving something up isn't easy when you're surrounded by it

What about ordering things like tonic so people don’t even realise it’s no alcohol.
Or getting answers ready such as ‘can’t handle the hangovers’ ‘want to look my best for the big day!’ Etc ?

I too have been there and occasionally still battle with it, esp for me at work events.

You feel so much more stronger and empowered when you don’t drink, and it does become easier and easier. I do find having answers ready that shut people down helps.

Drinking alcohol is supposed to be something we do for fun, to add to the pleasure of an activity we would otherwise enjoy.

If it is becoming a chore, and something you’re doing to keep other people happy, then logically you would stop doing it - but I know full well it’s not that easy!

Have you read any quit lit? The Sober Girl Society Handbook by Millie Gooch and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray are both very good.

To answer your questions - no, you won’t be boring. If the hen night is completely focused around alcohol then yes, you might get bored- but then so will anyone else who isn’t drinking because they’re pregnant, driving etc. So you might want to review your plans with “alcohol free” eyes.

There are some really good AF sparkling wines out there, and if you have a champagne flute with something fizzy in your hand, who cares what’s in your glass?

Good luck, and have a great time!