Think I've been drinking to numb myself, got to find other things

[HedgehogOnTheBike]

I'm sorry to post a sad thread. Been through a lot lately. Think I realized, with grown up kids concern, I've been drinking a lot. Every night wine, start with making dinner then whole bottle. Helps me pass out without over thinking my whole messy life. Plus in chronic pain from Endo/ depression

I'm sorry you're in pain, it really does make you feel down.

Can you start to reduce what you're drinking or is that impossible? For example, drink spritzers, drink two small glasses every second night, buy miniatures etc

If you can't cut down then replace the drink with something else like fruit juice and sparkling water, tonic water, grape juice.

Can you find a hobby that you need to focus on? I did an online course on poetry and we had to read up for each class. I've also done a film course and had to make notes.

Regarding the things stressing you out, can you write a list and start tackling them? There's nothing worse than putting things off.

Spritzers are a good idea.

GP has recommended Amitriptyline to help with Endo pain and get me to sleep. Obviously won't mix with wine so have been hesitant but perhaps I have to try ...cut out wine try medicine.

You made it over here! Well done, that’s such great step.

it may feel like wine is helping you (and I can’t judge, I did the same thing with a break up too) but I unequivocally promise you it isn’t helping you, it’s actually dragging you down. It’s absolutely okay to feel emotions in full, even if they are shitty, and you can’t really dodge it, when you’re going through hell, keep going etc.

When you wake up, no booze in the system you will have that little flicker of pride though and that will build. You will see your situation with more clarity and eventually you will be fine. It may take a while and you may not even notice that you got there but please just trust the process. You should already be proud that you have taken the immense first step of trying to find your happiness.

@HedgehogOnTheBike how are you getting on?

I've been making spritzers as a start with lots of ice.
I am feeling less despondent. Still hits me all the time but I try to push the thoughts of the past and future away.
Trying to tackle each day as they come

That’s great to hear. Just keep on moving forwards a day at a time. Drinking less will help you in so many ways.

I find thinking of adding good new habits is more positive than the thought of taking stuff away. For example, drink more water/eat an extra fruit or vegetable a day